By now I think you may have realised that my 'subject of the week' has turned into a 'subject of the month'! Why do I get the feeling I think about supermarket life WAY too much?!
Picture it; walking into a supermarket neck and neck with another customer, let's call him - for the sake of argument - Norm. You and Norm are in the veggie section (you really don't know what spelling mistake I made with that phrase!), picking all those yummy healthy things that you're going to be throwing into the bin in about a week. Norm decides to go one way round to the next aisle, and you take the other.......you see where I'm going here?
Rounding the corner, who should be coming towards you - surprise surprise - but........Norm!! Thus begins the zigzag; everywhere you turn, there he is coming towards you......by the time you reach the booze, the amount you have seen him in twenty minutes would qualify him for a position on your Christmas card list.
So why doom or desire? Well this depends completely on the identity of Norm. He may be a he, and that 'he' may be someone who is distinctly uneasy on the eye. To make matters worse he may also have the aforementioned skill of parking his trolley in daft places (in front of the milk, length ways in the aisle, five metres inside my personal space......of five metres radius). Every time you pass him, he tries to catch your eye; whereas you treat him as you would a particularly peckish looking rottweiler who has just chewed through his leash.....of steel.....and look anywhere but in his eyes. To make matters worse, no matter how quick or slow you go to try and lose him, he seems to match your pace. By the time you reach the till you are a quivering mess of paranoia......and guess who is behind you in the queue............ .....when every other till is free.
In case you were wondering, this is classed as 'doom'. The desire is when Norm, is actually a lovely Norma, and every corner turned is a pleasure. I do manage to stay on the right side of indecency, as wolf-whistling and drool is SO not Tesco's; I just acknowledge that it is nice to look at a pleasant looking lady!
On occasion I have to admit I do try communication; brave move I know! Fortunately I have so far got away with it. Something along the lines of 'hello again, I haven't seen you round here for at least....what.....thirty seconds?' or perhaps 'it looks like we are going to be bumping into each other a lot today, so I thought I would introduce myself.....'. Of course, if nothing else comes to mind, the old favourite of 'we must stop meeting like this!!' So far none of the ladies I have said these to have abandoned their trolley and called security.
It's been an ok week so far on the health side; no big splurges but not really pushing it too hard either. Been swimming twice this weekend, so hopefully that should do the trick and get me below 18 stone. One event of note is that I went out for lunch with the folks yesterday; lots of yummy melted cheesy things to choose from, but went for a smoked salmon salad. I joke about it....but is my body truly becoming a temple??
0 comments:
Post a Comment