Weigh in (58)

The good news is that I have lost weight, the bad news is that it ain't much! Precisely 0.2 pounds, taking me from 15 stone 12.8 (rounding up to 13 pounds) to 15 stone 12.6 (rounding up to...errrr.....
13 pounds). So still officially the same weight. Not great, but not bad.

On reflection I have to be happy with this, it has been a bit of a topsy turvy week all told; and if I am totally honest I find myself writing this at a bit of a low ebb; rare for me, I know; and probably all the more disturbing for me (and you!) for that very reason.

I'm no different from anyone else when it comes to low moods (except that I think I may be better able to 'look at myself' and work out why I am feeling the way I am feeling, which is a help). One thing happens which knocks you, then as a result of this little wobble, everything which on a normal day would be water off a ducks back suddenly becomes a big problem (big wobble); adding to the misery, and all the people and things which you ordinarily have the patience to suffer with a smile become the MOST ANNOYING PEOPLE AND THINGS ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET (EARTHQUAAAAAAAKE!). It is a really nasty snowball effect, and all this because of that initial wobblette.

It was the schedule towards the end of the week which caused the problem. Following 9km on Thursday night, there was social badminton (non-stop as low on numbers) on Friday night, over at Mums all day Saturday (lovely to spend time with her, but again; physically and mentally taxing) then up with the larks for Sunday morning's 15km followed by squeezing the usual weekend jobs into the rest of the day. Monday night out at the cinema to see Batman (stuck in traffic for two hours getting there; great film though) and not getting to sleep until gone 1am followed by the plan of a shortened trip to the gym in order to get to a badminton committee (of which I am now a member) meeting on Tuesday night. It tires me out just to write about it!

It's no wonder that come Tuesday I was starting to have a physical reaction to the busyness. Eyes and nose streaming repeatedly and feeling like I could happily curl up into a ball and sleep for a week. It was my body telling me in no unsubtle way that it had had enough. So no gym Tuesday night, and no committee meeting either. First gym session I have missed for quite some time which - along with everything else - has really cheesed me off (highly likely to have been the difference between break-even and losing for this week's weigh in).

On top of all this, you know what really got to me? On sending a text to one of the committee members my apologies that I couldn't go because I wasn't well, I received......nothing. Not so much as a 'no problem, get well soon'. I ordinarily would not think twice about it (see above) but it would have been nice to have heard something......it's what I would have done anyway.

Bet you're REALLY glad you started reading this post aren't you?!!!

Ironically I count myself pretty lucky not to have more of these dark moments during the course of training. The time it takes out of my life is significant to say the least (and it ain't gonna get any better!), leaving much less time to squeeze everything else in. Most of the time I have managed to manage it (?!) pretty well, but this week I will begrudgingly concede that my life has caught me out. A lesson learned.....

This is a test. It's one thing keeping up the exercise regime and healthy eating when things are going well; but a challenge would not be as much of a challenge without experiencing times where life is neither hunky nor dory. Will I stay the course? Will I be able to turn things around? You bet your sweet ass I will. Back in the gym tonight - tired though I may be, I need to go; can't miss two on the bounce - and looking forward to a free weekend. Plenty to do (not least of which is to send out the final sponsorship cheque for the Great Manchester Run, and launch the sponsorship for the Great North) but it will be lovely to have more time on my hands to do it. I do also intend to find some time for sitting out in the sun and just 'being'! Can't wait to find that calm after the storm of the last seven days.

Call it determination, call it bounce-backability; whatever it is I have a bucket of it, not to mention a couple of six-packs in the fridge. Don't worry; I'm nowhere near done yet.