Thank You For The Music - Hypothetical Conversations

What follows is what I oh so wish to be a true conversation between Toto band members - and songwriters - David Paich and Joseph Williams, during the course of creating the hit song 'Africa'. To save having to repeat the names, assume that lines alternate between them......

'Right then; that's the chorus sorted out' (DP)

'Oh go on Dave, pleeeeeeeeease?' (JW)

'Not a chance Jo, there is no way on earth I'm letting you do it; you'll sing it the way it's written'

'You're no fun Dave. Honestly, no one will ever know; and it will be such a laugh'

'No. For the last time Jo; I am not allowing you to sing 'I've left my brains down in Africa', no matter how much you beg me'

'I tell you what Dave. I'll only do it once during the song; and will change when I do it each time so no one will suspect. I'll even fudge, so it sounds a bit like 'I bless the rains down in Africa'; no one will be quite sure exactly what they are hearing. It'll be our secret. Oh go on Dave; live a little!'

(David pauses to rub his chin thoughtfully.......................)

'Alright Jo; I'll do you a deal......I will allow you to slip that line in once during recording - don't tell me when, I don't want to know - if and only if you accept and succeed in my challenge'

'Deal!!!'

'Don't be too sure; you don't know what it is yet....'

'Oh don't be daft David, there's nothing you can challenge me with that I can't manage without so much as a click of the fingers'

'We'll see about that. Okay then. Well we've done the chorus, and I'm going off to the pub and leave you to sort out the verses'

'That's the challenge?!!!'

'Oooooooh no. The challenge is that you have to seamlessly incorporate a line of my choosing somewhere within the lyrics. You have to make it sound like part of the song - to my satisfaction - and not a line that you have just stuck into the song to win a challenge that allows you to to sing 'I've left my brains down in Africa' during the chorus. Then and only then will I agree that you have won the challenge and allow you 'I've left my brains down in Africa' during the chorus'

'Not a problem; what's the line'

'Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti'

(Long, unblinking stare from Jo to Dave..................)

'You're kidding, right?'

'Nope!'

'Oh do me a favour Dave. How the stuffing hell am I going to get that line into a verse; you're 'avin a larf' (suddenly Jo turns into a cockney, apples and pears, chim chim chereeeee, corrrr bloimey Meeery Poppins...)

'Well, you want to leave your brains in Africa; so you get a rising Kilimanjaro. Of course if you don't accept the challenge.....'

'I didn't say that. Leave it with me, I accept and what's more I will beat your challenge. Have no doubts about that my friend.'

(Three long months go by - okay, months are a clearly defined time span; thank you Professor Hawking - Jo locked in his office; only emerging - crazy eyed and unshaven - to take on meagre rations of food and water. Finally.....the door is flung open and a scrawled-on piece of tear, blood and heaven knows whatstained A4 paper is thrust into Davids hand....a slightly hysterical giggle escaping Jo's lips)

'I don't believe it Jo; you've actually done it. This could become one of the most memorable song lyrics in history; leaving your brains splattered all over Africa seems a small price to pay for such genius (although looking at you, I think you'd better go looking for your marbles aswell as your brain, as they have also clearly departed for another continent). We keep this whole thing between ourselves right?'

(an exhausted Jo, glazed eyes, twitching cheeks, rocking back and forth (him, not the cheeks), gurgling quietly to himself amidst the odd burst of unhinged giggling, gives a barely discernible nod. We leave this scene as Jo reaches a trembling hand for the phone and dials the number for The P.C.D.S......Priory Centre for Deranged Songwriters).

I slightly kinda sort of suspect the potential existence of the fact that there may be limited reality to this story; but at the very least they must have felt pretty chuffed with themselves on coming up with that line. The most perfect combination of rhythm, song and syllables I have ever heard!