(Distance trained so far.........341 miles)
Okay, I know I haven't been posting as much as I should of late (said that before haven't I?!); so the good news (for some) is that you lucky, fortunate, somewhere-in-my-youth-or-childhood-I-must-have-done-something-good people will have daily posts in the run up to the Great North (I know, I know; I'm too good/bad to you! delete as appropriate).
Considering the subject of this post, you may end up wishing I was back to the regular two-posts-a-week. It concerns joggers nipple to which I have previously alluded ('ark at me, I just used the word 'alluded'!........Mr. Crawford would be so proud). No, not some strange masonic greeting known only to runners; for those not aware, it is a condition suffered by many long distance athletes (of which amazingly, I am one! 'ark at me; I just called myself an athlete!) which involves chafing; need I say where?!
As the distances have increased, the original solution known as 'Vaseline Daub' has proved to be ineffective. The alternative solution however of 'bleeding profusely from my nipples into my jogging top' has worked incredibly well. With the graduation onto full marathon next year, it was becoming a real and worrying possibility that this of all things could and ultimately would mean a premature end to the challenge. I asked advice, I googled (never in public; I might be arrested) for solutions; not one of which worked. Plasters would slide off after about 4 miles, gaffer tape liberally applied would be off in six, Vaseline wore off, a super-duper, no chafing, wonderful answer to your prayers products called 'Bodyglide' was body useless. I even started shaving the chesticle region! Nope; the shirt was still oozing red by the time I was done, and the post-gym hot shower screams would make your toes curl let me tell you!
One solution remained. If compression shorts worked for chub-rub, perhaps compression tops will work for ouchio de nippolitana. They are as figure-hugging as their lower half partners; and I have been avoiding them as - although my figure is much less rounded than it used to be - I would much prefer to have my figure hugged in public by a lady than an item of clothing; but in this case needs absolutely emphatically must!
So here's the drill......
1. Shave the chest; and be VERY careful.....you know what I mean
2. Apply bodyglide in copious amounts
3. Apply gaffer tape in copious amounts
4. Don compression top
This pre-session routine means that an arrival at Haslingden Leisure Centre at 6pm gets me into the gym just after half past eight (kidding) but that said, I think I've cracked it (and no I don't mean a nipple)! It seems that the 'second skin' nature of the top both reduces friction, and encourages the gaffer tape to stay on longer. Okay, with my curves on show I may now look like a bit of a Mooby Dick in the gym but it is a small price to pay for no blood, and a shower that does not have me using language more colourful than Joseph's dreamcoat! Possible problems as I go beyond the half marathon, but I have heard of a product called 'Nipguard' which looks promising. If you really want to know, I will keep you posted! In fact, I will keep you posted whether you want to know or not!
Five days to go, and just starting to realise the enormity of what is coming. Panic has not set in....yet; but what has set in is a need to focus on absolute essentials: getting good nights' sleeps, eating properly and relaxing whenever I can. Whatever other problems are hovering round my head, they will have to wait ('ark at me, all logical and focused!!).
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