Weigh in (70)

It is with a heavy heart, as well as regretfully with a much heavier body that I bring myself to write this post; but them's the rules of blogclub - besides of course 'YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT BLOGCLUB' - that I have to be honest and give the rough with the smooth. Care to have a punt on which of these you're getting today boys and girls?!! It is a whopping FOUR pounds on, weighing me in at 15 stone 7.8 pounds (oh go on, let me round down just this once??.......worth a try; 15 stone 8 it is then).

Pause for gasp.......

I guess the positive thing (possibly the only positive thing!) is that once again it is not a surprise. I've been full of a cold all week and just can't seem to get it shifted. There have been no trips to the gym. I did try one evening, hoping to put into action the 'sweat it out of your system' principle; unfortunately I succeeded in the slightly less celebrated adage of 'sweating it even further in to your system'.

In addition to the sniffles I don't think I am over-dramatising things when I say that this has been the most unsettled week since way before Fatmantofitman was so much as a glint in its fathers eye. There was the regular stress which comes from being in a sales-related profession (targets to achieve, walls to beat your head against etc), but to compound things I have been presented with one of the biggest and toughest life-choices I have ever had. To protect the innocent (and some guilty too) I can't go into too much detail, but suffice it to say I stand at a major crossroads in the life of Adrian Blaydon (good job I haven't taken a wrong turn and ended up at someone else's junction....look right, look left, look right again.....yep....it's definitely mine). In one direction I have a road of comfort and familiarity which is very likely to lead to frustration and boredom in the not to distant distance; in the other I have a largely unknown road of upheaval and fear (not forgetting of course, hope), which may very likely lead to achievement, happiness, success and all round good stuff. Sounds like a no-brainer, but to consciously forsake comfort and choose the more difficult path that lies ahead - and risk it ultimately not turning into achievement, happiness, success and good stuff - is both an exciting and terrifying prospect.

At the risk of repeating repeating myself myself, it comes down to an all too regular occurring question....'Do I dare?' Am I prepared to make my life intentionally less comfortable in the short term for the successes it could bring, or do I not bother out of fear of failure, settling for the lot in life I currently have? I think I know my answer, but I am almost too scared to give it. Procrastination man.....that's me.

Although 'unsettled' in this case is not an entirely bad thing it - along with the cold - has taken away all my focus, and I have slipped into the old naughty ways again. Naughty way; they are always lurking; looking for their opportunity to take hold again. Maybe not completely fast-food dominant, but a Chinese takeaway earlier in the week and a trip to Macdonalds on Monday night (large Big Mac Meal, large McChicken sandwich meal......yes.....all eaten by me) are hardly contributory factors to a healthy balanced diet are they? Not good is not an exaggeration. Previously I have eaten badly while still going to the gym and got away with it, and on occasion I have missed the gym while still eating well and dodged a bullet; now we know (as if we didn't already) what happens when exercise and diet go to pot.

So what now? Is the challenge in jeopardy?

NO!! I REFUSE TO LET IT GET THE BEST OF ME

There will be a degree of damage limitation required over the next week; and possibly the week after. I can't see myself making it to the gym for at least another week. It's a worry but the damage I could do by getting back on track too early doesn't bear thinking about. I need to eat well; being a bit poorly and losing my ability to exercise does not give me an excuse to give up on my diet aswell (that was kind of how I felt this week). I of course need to make a decision with regards to the above crossroads, but most of all I need to find some peace. My brain is awash with all thoughts of sorts (??!) and I need to find a way to quiet it. I'm not totally sure what I am going to do to achieve that, but I suspect it will involve a very hot bath (topped up regularly by careful big-toe dexterity) and a Kindle which contains that bird with the dragon tattoo.

Don't worry, I am far from beaten........