I started this post with the line 'well, this is a bit of a head-scratcher'; then the usual reflections of what I had actually eaten (for which I only have to look at previous posts) made me think again. Sorry guys, but it's three pounds on, leaving me at a rather depressing 16 stone 11 pounds.
So which traps did I fall into this week.....?
'I'm exercising three times a week, so I can get away with murder'......
.......it turns out that I can't, I can also not get away with eating badly and expect to lose weight........
'Too much bread'......
......not as much as I have done in the past, but each time I am having two tins of beans on toast (and for some strange reason feeling virtuous in so doing) I am having four slices of toast. Add to that all the other bread which I have been chucking down my neck it amounts to.....well......too much!
'Holiday weekend'......
Although not totally hedonistic, I succumbed to a rather large chocolate egg, there was the 'big' Easter Sunday meal, and then when I got home my diet went a bit wacky to say the least (rightly pointed out by Wee-Ali). The it's-Good-Friday, boss-is-treating-us-so-let's-have-a-sausage-and-egg-sandwich-what harm-could-it-do?...... no doubt also did me a fair bit of harm.
Weigh-in (40)
I suspect that a five pound loss to 16 stone 8 pounds is a bit of a weird one too - something fishy there - and may have lulled me into a false sense of you know what.
I am disappointed, depressed and angry at this little piece of history is repeating itself....again. I truly thought that I had cracked it last week, and the fifteen stones were just around the corner. Idiot!! What makes it worse is that with weight loss there really isn't anyone else to blame is there?! I am heartily sick of putting on weight one week out of every two.
Things are at a bit of a low at the moment; belief, resolve, me; and when things are low, the possible seems wholly impossible, and the minor problems become major ones. I just need to let this week go; it's happened, and I can't do anything about it. Got to try so hard this week to knuckle down and make this week a good - and lighter - one. I just need to get back to what worked before.....if I can find out what the hell that is.
Having said all this, let's end on a positive shall we? I am genuinely proud of myself for keeping the trips to the gym going. Some evenings on the drive home from work it has been such a struggle, and the battles of will were so nearly lost. But so far I have maintained three trips a week, and am on schedule for the Great Manchester Run in five and a half weeks (yikes!); up to a comfortable 6km so far. There is hope.....
2 comments:
The great thing about habits and patterns (once spotted) is that it's entirely within our control to change them. Keep going A, there's much done, much to do, and hopefully smiles along the way. Getting to the run next month is achievement in itself, not to be underestimated. And the gym record is really great.
Am with you in spirit,
W-A x.
@Wee_Ali
Thank you my dearest. It's certainly been a guilt and fear-ridden few days since the weigh in. Guilt at not being able to give any of the readers (including you!) a some good news, and fear that they might give up on me. Sounds pathetic I know, but strong and confident though I am, this blog is vulnerability. I like doing it, but at times like these it's good to have encouragement from my Southern Belle!
Gym beckons tonight......xx
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