In my previous posts (about four years ago) I made reference
to events which were taking me out of my comfort zone, and frustratingly I could
not at the time divulge what these events were. I am pleased to say that my vow
of silence can now be broken. So what has all the fuss been about? Well, if I
said that the previous blog post was written in the front room of my house in
Edenfield (Lancashire), and I am writing this one from a hotel room in
Stevenage (Hertfordshire) you might be getting the gist.
For the last four years I have worked for a good company; it
has been a period with its fair share of challenges, frustrations and yes,
successes. Positives though the job possessed; more recently the frustrations
and insurmountable challenges were increasing in indirect proportion to any
chances of career progression, and the only job satisfaction was
self-generated; all in all not the most satisfying way to spend five working
days a week. The positives were that it enabled me to live back in my native
north-west, and to spend more time with my eighty-something year old Mum only a
half hour drive away (it also meant I could see more of Stockport County
football matches……but I’m honestly not sure whether that is classed under the
positive or negative column!).
Enter stage left, galloping in on its white charger to save
me; Propak Architectural Glazing, offering me a job and being flatteringly keen
to bring me aboard. Enthusiasm, positivity, challenge, a recognition and
appreciation of who I am and what experience I possess, not scared to invest in
the right areas to ‘make things happen’, career progression; couldn’t be better
could it? The only problem; they are based just shy of 250 miles away from
Manchester, quite a daily commute is it not?!
Most people wouldn’t think twice about an opportunity like
this, but it may well have been the hardest decision I have ever had to make. How
can I explain it? To most people the choice is a classic ‘no-brainer’, but no
matter what advice I received from those most people, I knew what accepting an
opportunity like this would mean. It would mean unsettlement, it would mean
uncertainty, it would mean risk, it would mean upheaval, it would mean
‘starting again’, despite the company bending over backwards so I can stay in
the north-west, it would eventually lead to a move to Hertfordshire, it would
mean guilt at not being able to spend as much time with my beautiful Mum. Lots of
positives and excitement too, but I am realistic about the whole package; and
yes, this realism had to include the way this boat-rocking would jeopardise my
exercise and healthy eating regime, and the ultimate success in training for
and completing the London Marathon next year.
Do I choose the familiar and predictable path; safe in the
knowledge that it will look the same in twenty years as it does right now; or
do I have the confidence and gumption (gumptidence?) to choose the rocky, fog-filled
path whose end is not certain but whose end could be soooooo good?
As you know where I am as I type these words, the element of
mystery is gone....solid gooone. I took the job; and this is my first official
week at work. It is exciting, and I have been given no reason at all to regret
my decision (yet!). The people and ultimate ‘vibe’ about the place is
definitely one of desire to make a success of the venture. Nevertheless the
decision still does not sit well with me. There are things I have chosen to do
for the benefit of others, there are also things I have chosen to do for my own
benefit provided they don’t negatively affect anyone I care about; this is the
first decision I have made for my own benefit which will also result in clear
negativity for others, and that goes completely against my nature. Seeing less
of my Mum will come as a blow to her, and me for that matter (at least I have a
new job to help take my mind off it); I feel particularly guilty as let’s not sugar-coat
it here, at her age the number of days left to enjoy Mum’s company are limited and
now I won’t have the chance to spend as many of them with her. Practically too,
my absence will create a void of care (shopping, cooking, cleaning, generally spending
time with her) which will need to be filled by someone; hopefully.
And yet, despite these misgivings, it still really is a
no-brainer, and I feel a better man for making the right decision. I care
enough to have regret about what I am leaving behind, but thanks to my own
common sense, and a feeling that anyone who cares about me will support what is
best for me, I still have the sense to go through it. So bring on the new job,
bring on the unsettlement, bring on Stevenage; I’m ready.
The only trouble is, what is going to happen to phase three
of Fatmantofitman………? Am I still up for it……..? Stay tuned……
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