Weigh in (84)

Okay, this is now moving away from annoying territory and moving into embarrassing. I feel I need to apologise for this, to you; not to myself as apologising to my self for something I have done is just a little bit out there (you know me, as sane as the next man.....). Weighing in tonight at 15 stone 11.6 pounds, rounding me up to one on at fifteen twelve. The utter ridiculousness of it. A man in training for the London Marathon; running an average of twenty miles a day, and putting on weight.

So, a genuine apology to you, and a promise that I am going to do the best I can to find out what I am doing wrong. Let's face it, there must be something, or more likely a number of things. Speaking of which.....

There are specifics such as not eating breakfast - I think I may have said that before....last week - and generally eating too much of the wrong stuff, but it all comes under the same general category; and it's a category we have met, and 'conquered' before. We've had our 'Star Wars', and we have moved on to 'The Complacency Strikes Back'.

What an idiot I have been to let this happen again; to once more have the arrogant presumption that all the exercise I am doing gives me free rein to eat like the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar and still turn into a butterfly. It is laughable that I am struggling to recall what I ate this week; and how can you eat sensibly when you have lost control of your diet. Truth? Managed the hotel breakfast only once this week, two subways; one of which is a footlong Meatball Heart Attac.....errrrr.....Marinara, and with each was a packet of crisps and three-pack of gooey cookies. Finally on my healthy instant mash and tuna night (actually not that unhealthy) I actually manage to work my way through a sixpack of crisps (in case you were wondering.....very unhealthy).

Good grief. On reflection it's a miracle I only put on one pound.

I don't think the two subways thing is all that bad if I am sensible with it; but I need to control all the stuff that goes with it - the crisps, the cookies - and I need to control it quickly. I simply can't afford to have another week like this. Even a break even next week would be better than a gain.

Quite by coincidence (no such thing?!), I heard a beautiful and extremely insightful phrase on the TV not long after the weigh in (and you can guess how I was feeling at the time can't you?). It gave me hope......

"What's impossible becomes hard, what's hard becomes easy, what's easy....becomes beautiful"

So many things can be learned from this; it is worth attempting the impossible, perseverance is a good thing, beauty can come from unusual places and so on. For me it is a map, and I've realised I'm not where I thought I was. Here's me thinking I was comfortably within the 'easy' zone, but in actual fact I've not left 'hard' yet. Knowing that will hopefully give me the focus that I need. If I don't pay attention to what I'm eating, I am going to be in deep trouble.

......65 days to go.......