I raise my metaphorical cricket bat in celebration. Whether it's lots of people having a shufty, or one person dipping in repeatedly (Ali?!!) we are now at 100 views; yay!
It's been an ok week so far, but I have come up against another challenge; and that is when I am genuinely eating out. I went to the movies to watch the last Harry Potter movie (so far?) with my sister, and we decided to have a bite to eat first. I looked at the menu on the door of the restaurant (Papa G's), and picked a lovely and virtuous Caesar Salad. I walked in and said 'table for two please' (holding up two fingers, as I always do, just in case the waiter can't count past one) absolutely sure about what I was ordering. I sat down at the table and picked up the menu. In the time it took me to walk into the restaurant and sit down, the 'Caesar Salad' had become 'Caesar Salad and Chunky Chips'; then by the time the waiter came over to take my order, the aforementioned 'Caesar Salad' had become 'BBQ Chicken Burger'. Oops!
This may be a step too far for me. When I am cooking my own food, eating well is not a problem. But I am not convinced that I am able to order salad from a restaurant menu; not when there are burgers and stuff on there!
The positive thing is that I don't eat out that often, so it is not going to be a regular problem for me to face. So I am going to take a stand on this issue that when I eat out, I am not going to be totally obsessed with eating healthy. Nothing wrong with having it in the back of my mind - and avoiding things which are clearly very bad for you - but it was enjoyable to take pleasure in good company and good food; and may I say a bloody good film to boot!!
At least I had Diet Coke with my meal.......!
Saturday 30 July 2011
Tuesday 26 July 2011
Weigh in (6)
Well, I have certainly dodged a bullet today. I suppose if I was rounding down, I could say that I was still 18 stone and 4 pounds. In actual fact the scales are showing me at 18 stone 4.4 pounds; which - taking decimal points - is a gain of 0.6 pounds. Considering what I did at the weekend (see previous blog entry) I will most certainly take that. It's not a step back; maybe a little backwards shuffle, but definitely not a step! I think I'll celebrate with a curry tomorrow night...........just kidding. Next Tuesday could still be a tricky weigh-in, but I have a week to remedy that.
It's half past ten, and I'm already in bed!! Surely there can only be two reasons why someone should be in bed at half ten at night; either because you are ill, or because you are not going to bed alone! Sadly I am feeling pretty chipper, and asides from Tedito Eduardo ( yes, I am a 37 year old man, with a teddy bear) there is no one else hiding under these covers (unless they are hiding very well). Nope, I'm just jiggered! So more supermarket insights tomorrow; but for now it's a very good night and sweet dreams!
It's half past ten, and I'm already in bed!! Surely there can only be two reasons why someone should be in bed at half ten at night; either because you are ill, or because you are not going to bed alone! Sadly I am feeling pretty chipper, and asides from Tedito Eduardo ( yes, I am a 37 year old man, with a teddy bear) there is no one else hiding under these covers (unless they are hiding very well). Nope, I'm just jiggered! So more supermarket insights tomorrow; but for now it's a very good night and sweet dreams!
Monday 25 July 2011
Off The Wagon
Why oh why oh why did I open my big mouth. Here is me going on about how I don't feel the need to eat fast food any more, and what do I do? I take the foot off the accelerator and fall off the wagon. I say fall off, when actually what I have done is taken a Tom Daley triple twist with pike off the damned thing.
I think this is where the use of a blog comes in handy, as I have to be honest and say that I went to the Chinese takeaway and bought myself chicken fried rice, sweet and sour chicken with boiled rice, prawn crackers, and two diet cokes (I know, I know; DIET cokes). I ate the lot.
So we now have on the good side of the scales, the oh so temporary enjoyment of eating the takeaway. On the bad side is the guilt which came pretty soon after the temporary enjoyment, couple with the embarrassment of having to reveal it to the blogging world. Trust me when I say it's not easy saying it (typing it) out loud. So how do you think those scales are looking right now........
So what happened? Combination of things really. The first is that I was disappointed with the July photograph. I was kinda hoping to see a difference, but what I saw was someone just as fat as the June photo. I don't know what I was thinking, one month of healthy eating and a few pounds lost would become immediately apparent?!! Plonka. But still, part of me thought it, and that part of me was hugely disappointed.
So, feeling down. Then on Saturday I didn't manage to get to the supermarket to do the weekly shop, which left me light of things to cook for dinner. I wasn't idle, I was out the back making a shed door (oh, the exciting life I lead.....bungee jumping??........paint balling??.....nope.......off to B&Q with a google print-out titled 'how to nail six planks together.'). By the time I finished shed said door, it was gone 7pm and couldn't face engineering a culinary masterpiece. I succumbed.
To say I am dreading tomorrow's weigh-in is a huge understatement; I think I could suffer both tomorrow and the week after. Having said that, I don't feel too bad tonight. I've eaten healthy today, have spent some time out the back pruning my bedding plants (and of course, gazing lovingly at my shed door - I keep opening and closing it with an immense feeling of satisfaction!), and most importantly, averted the downward spiral of eating bad food after bad. I've lived, I've learned, I've come clean, I'll move on.
Patience is the key, and it is a skill I need to develop. It's weird, as in my normal working and personal life I have huge amounts of it. People try my patience every day, and I never rise to it; I accept it. I understand that getting worked up over someone getting on my nerves does no earthly good, and loses any logic or control over the situation. I flatter myself it is something I am very good at. But weight loss is a different sort of patience isn't it? It is time I am up against. It can't get on my nerves, it can't annoy me, frustrate me or disappoint me; it never changes. That changes the rules of patience for me, as the particular type of time I am up against is 'long'. But hey, I'm not perfect (not quite!) and I like a challenge; so time, you have met your match. However long it takes, I will not give up.
PS The first time I typed it, I spelled 'shed door' as 'shed doot'; is it me or is doot a word that really should mean something?!!
I think this is where the use of a blog comes in handy, as I have to be honest and say that I went to the Chinese takeaway and bought myself chicken fried rice, sweet and sour chicken with boiled rice, prawn crackers, and two diet cokes (I know, I know; DIET cokes). I ate the lot.
So we now have on the good side of the scales, the oh so temporary enjoyment of eating the takeaway. On the bad side is the guilt which came pretty soon after the temporary enjoyment, couple with the embarrassment of having to reveal it to the blogging world. Trust me when I say it's not easy saying it (typing it) out loud. So how do you think those scales are looking right now........
So what happened? Combination of things really. The first is that I was disappointed with the July photograph. I was kinda hoping to see a difference, but what I saw was someone just as fat as the June photo. I don't know what I was thinking, one month of healthy eating and a few pounds lost would become immediately apparent?!! Plonka. But still, part of me thought it, and that part of me was hugely disappointed.
So, feeling down. Then on Saturday I didn't manage to get to the supermarket to do the weekly shop, which left me light of things to cook for dinner. I wasn't idle, I was out the back making a shed door (oh, the exciting life I lead.....bungee jumping??........paint balling??.....nope.......off to B&Q with a google print-out titled 'how to nail six planks together.'). By the time I finished shed said door, it was gone 7pm and couldn't face engineering a culinary masterpiece. I succumbed.
To say I am dreading tomorrow's weigh-in is a huge understatement; I think I could suffer both tomorrow and the week after. Having said that, I don't feel too bad tonight. I've eaten healthy today, have spent some time out the back pruning my bedding plants (and of course, gazing lovingly at my shed door - I keep opening and closing it with an immense feeling of satisfaction!), and most importantly, averted the downward spiral of eating bad food after bad. I've lived, I've learned, I've come clean, I'll move on.
Patience is the key, and it is a skill I need to develop. It's weird, as in my normal working and personal life I have huge amounts of it. People try my patience every day, and I never rise to it; I accept it. I understand that getting worked up over someone getting on my nerves does no earthly good, and loses any logic or control over the situation. I flatter myself it is something I am very good at. But weight loss is a different sort of patience isn't it? It is time I am up against. It can't get on my nerves, it can't annoy me, frustrate me or disappoint me; it never changes. That changes the rules of patience for me, as the particular type of time I am up against is 'long'. But hey, I'm not perfect (not quite!) and I like a challenge; so time, you have met your match. However long it takes, I will not give up.
PS The first time I typed it, I spelled 'shed door' as 'shed doot'; is it me or is doot a word that really should mean something?!!
Thursday 21 July 2011
Supermarkets - driving lessons
As I said, this is a slight departure from the main gist of this blog, but this is a chance to marvel, laugh, and occasionally rant at the wonder of life wherever it may be seen! Supermarkets this week.
The first thing I would like to talk about is the concept of spacial awareness. In the context of supermarkets, it applies to acknowledging where you - and your trolley/basket - are and where other people - with their trolleys/baskets - are located around you. What makes this so noteworthy, is that it is a skill which clearly most supermarketeers do not possess. In actual fact, many possess the exact 'anti-skill'.
Let me explain. When I park my trolley in an aisle, I always try to ensure it is placed in the least awkward and obtrusive place for other people to manouebvroure round. The anti-skill of people is the quite beautiful talent of placing the trolley in the middle of the busiest aisle so perfectly, that you cannot get yours through. Quite apart from being annoyed by it, it is something to be marvelled at. A few inches either way would give enough of a gap. So no, you have to either brush up against the enemy trolley, or - God forbid - cross the boundary of personal space and man (woman, person) handle it out of the way; much to the tutting and Paddington Bear extra-hard stare of its owner.
In the same bracket are most definitely the 'people stopping to have a look at their lists in the worst possible location (eg the entry-gate, in front of the milk) syndrome' and the piece de resistance, the 'oops I forgot something, even though I am next in the queue for the till' factor!
I recall reading a letter from Wee-ali (see comments) more years ago than I care to remember about an urge to race with your trolley down the aisle, barging all people, staff, and yes, trolleys out of the way. Something I can totally identify with!
Next time, the zig-zag of chance (if that doesn't get you tuning in, nothing will!)
The first thing I would like to talk about is the concept of spacial awareness. In the context of supermarkets, it applies to acknowledging where you - and your trolley/basket - are and where other people - with their trolleys/baskets - are located around you. What makes this so noteworthy, is that it is a skill which clearly most supermarketeers do not possess. In actual fact, many possess the exact 'anti-skill'.
Let me explain. When I park my trolley in an aisle, I always try to ensure it is placed in the least awkward and obtrusive place for other people to manouebvroure round. The anti-skill of people is the quite beautiful talent of placing the trolley in the middle of the busiest aisle so perfectly, that you cannot get yours through. Quite apart from being annoyed by it, it is something to be marvelled at. A few inches either way would give enough of a gap. So no, you have to either brush up against the enemy trolley, or - God forbid - cross the boundary of personal space and man (woman, person) handle it out of the way; much to the tutting and Paddington Bear extra-hard stare of its owner.
In the same bracket are most definitely the 'people stopping to have a look at their lists in the worst possible location (eg the entry-gate, in front of the milk) syndrome' and the piece de resistance, the 'oops I forgot something, even though I am next in the queue for the till' factor!
I recall reading a letter from Wee-ali (see comments) more years ago than I care to remember about an urge to race with your trolley down the aisle, barging all people, staff, and yes, trolleys out of the way. Something I can totally identify with!
Next time, the zig-zag of chance (if that doesn't get you tuning in, nothing will!)
Tuesday 19 July 2011
Weigh in (5)
Oh my God. Oh my Goddy God. Now here this, now here this. No doubts, no arguments, no ambiguity; I have officially and categorically lost weight!! I am now 18 stone 4 pounds (actually 18 stone 3.8 pounds, but I'll keep the 0.2 as credit for next Tuesday!); which represents a weight loss of 3 pounds. Amazingly, the Wii Fit scales (which henceforth will be known as the RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR) say I have lost four pounds (does it have a personality? so if you catch it in a bad mood it thinks 'he's lost a pound, and he looks so full of hope..........so I'll tell him he's put on two........MWA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!).
It's been a good week, but at the same time I don't feel like I have really been sacrificing. One session on the Wii Fit. I did try a second session, but my heart went a bit barmy after half an hour; my body's subtle way of telling me I'm overdoing it (don't worry, it was fine after a few minutes). No fast food, but I honestly have never had the urge to splurge and had to battle against it; I just don't go there. Something has changed in me on that subject, and long may it remain so I say.
Incidentally, I think it may be time to divulge my reward for the 1 stone lost landmark (17 stone 9 pounds). For some time now, I have been popping into Debenhams and having a snifter of either 'The One' or 'The One Gentleman' aftershaves by D&G. I admit I have never been one for smellies, but that stuff is great!! The adverts show Matthew Maconagheaaydyhy (whatever his blumming name is) bare chested. I think that may well be too far for me just yet, but for now I can at least smell like him even if I can't look like him! Up until now I have been denying myself as it is needless expense, but one of each is my reward. If only bloggers could post smells (smogs?) I would give you a whiff.
Roll on next Tuesday!
It's been a good week, but at the same time I don't feel like I have really been sacrificing. One session on the Wii Fit. I did try a second session, but my heart went a bit barmy after half an hour; my body's subtle way of telling me I'm overdoing it (don't worry, it was fine after a few minutes). No fast food, but I honestly have never had the urge to splurge and had to battle against it; I just don't go there. Something has changed in me on that subject, and long may it remain so I say.
Incidentally, I think it may be time to divulge my reward for the 1 stone lost landmark (17 stone 9 pounds). For some time now, I have been popping into Debenhams and having a snifter of either 'The One' or 'The One Gentleman' aftershaves by D&G. I admit I have never been one for smellies, but that stuff is great!! The adverts show Matthew Maconagheaaydyhy (whatever his blumming name is) bare chested. I think that may well be too far for me just yet, but for now I can at least smell like him even if I can't look like him! Up until now I have been denying myself as it is needless expense, but one of each is my reward. If only bloggers could post smells (smogs?) I would give you a whiff.
Roll on next Tuesday!
Subject Of The Week!
I've been thinking about this blog lately, and have come to realise that it's going to get a bit monotonous if all that I'm talking about healthy eating, exercise and losing weight; important - and indeed the main thrust of the blog - though it may be. So I thought we would have a subject of the week! When I'm not talking about the pounds and pounds of lard I am shedding (I hope!), I'll be talking about this. The subject of this weeks week is...........supermarkets! They are a world in themselves, and I am sure that what I talk about either results in you saying 'aaawwww yeah, that's happened to me!' or if not, it will happen to you the next time you cross the threshold of your ASDA's, Tesco's, Sainsburys', or Waitrose's (posh git!). The story continues tomorrow, along with weigh in number 4 (don't worry, I haven't forgotten!).
For now, it's getting late and I have an urgent and unavoidable appointment with my pillow. Night!
P.S. Do you think I use the exclamation point a bit too often?......................!!
For now, it's getting late and I have an urgent and unavoidable appointment with my pillow. Night!
P.S. Do you think I use the exclamation point a bit too often?......................!!
Tuesday 12 July 2011
Weigh in (4)
This is a tricky one. Remember me saying that the Wii Fit scales were measuring me too light, and the posh scales had me at 18 stone 9 pounds? Well the plot thickens, as the Wii Fit is now showing me as gaining two pounds, but the posh scales have me as losing two; now putting me at 18 stone 7 pounds! I have to pick one, and use that for this and all future weigh-ins (weighs-in? weighs-ins??).
Now, I know that the easy option will be to go for the scales which show me as losing weight this week, but for reasons I explained this time last week, I think it's the best option. So 18 stone 7 pounds I now am! I don't get that warm fuzzy feeling due to the difference of instrumental opinion, but it's no disaster either.
As I said yesterday, I didn't feel I had the best of weeks. Looking back, I knocked back a few too many beers in the warm weather, and last Tuesday I met my sister-in-law and had spaghetti carbonara, of which the main ingredient seemed to be......creeeeeeeeeeeeammmmmmmmmmmmmm. It was bladdy lavverly, but not something I can repeat if I am going to get where I'm going.
Could I just say; this is not as easy as I thought it was going to be.....
Now, I know that the easy option will be to go for the scales which show me as losing weight this week, but for reasons I explained this time last week, I think it's the best option. So 18 stone 7 pounds I now am! I don't get that warm fuzzy feeling due to the difference of instrumental opinion, but it's no disaster either.
As I said yesterday, I didn't feel I had the best of weeks. Looking back, I knocked back a few too many beers in the warm weather, and last Tuesday I met my sister-in-law and had spaghetti carbonara, of which the main ingredient seemed to be......creeeeeeeeeeeeammmmmmmmmmmmmm. It was bladdy lavverly, but not something I can repeat if I am going to get where I'm going.
Could I just say; this is not as easy as I thought it was going to be.....
Monday 11 July 2011
Better!!
Bouncing back today, yay! Cooked a nice turkey mincey, mushroomy, oniony thing (no butter, aren't I virtuous?!) and did 70 minutes on the Wii Fit. Watered my plants and in bed before eleven! I think I got more done tonight than I did in the whole of the weekend. So all in all I am feeling pretty positive today. Feeling negative tomorrow may well count as severe mood swings; hope not.
Weigh in tomorrow. I have a bad feeling as it hasn't been the best of weeks for exercise, and although I haven't exactly been binging on chips, I think I could have done better with what I did eat. I will settle for breaking even.
I've been looking at the stats for this blog, and we've broken 50 views! Mostly from the UK, but I would like to say ein grosses 'Guten abend' to the German reader/readers (may I say I would have no chance of losing weight in your country; too many Wurst to choose from!), und vielen dank um meinen blog zu lesen (my GCSE German teacher would be so proud!). I've also seen a few American viewers; now I have no trouble in translation here if I want to say hello......errrr.......hello!! Thanks for reading; hope I can reward you with a few pounds off tomorrow.
(blimey; the spell check has gone barmy with this post.....poor thing!)
Weigh in tomorrow. I have a bad feeling as it hasn't been the best of weeks for exercise, and although I haven't exactly been binging on chips, I think I could have done better with what I did eat. I will settle for breaking even.
I've been looking at the stats for this blog, and we've broken 50 views! Mostly from the UK, but I would like to say ein grosses 'Guten abend' to the German reader/readers (may I say I would have no chance of losing weight in your country; too many Wurst to choose from!), und vielen dank um meinen blog zu lesen (my GCSE German teacher would be so proud!). I've also seen a few American viewers; now I have no trouble in translation here if I want to say hello......errrr.......hello!! Thanks for reading; hope I can reward you with a few pounds off tomorrow.
(blimey; the spell check has gone barmy with this post.....poor thing!)
Sunday 10 July 2011
Annoyed!
Seriously cheesed off tonight. It's rare that I have a nothing weekend, but I write this at the end of one; very frustrating. A weekend when I am not committed to something (looking after my Mum, travelling here and there) is a rarity; two days of freedom, and I have accomplished precisely....nothing.
It doesn't happen very often - usually I plan lots of things and keep nice and busy - but this weekend something was missing; the energy wasn't there. I started slowly and never really picked up. Maybe I was a bit tired after a busy week, but I should have got more done. Like I said, I am extremely hacked off tonight.
Right, whatever the weekend might have been, it is as good as gone; and I have plenty more of them to come I hope. So I am going to learn from this and make sure it doesn't happen again. As for tonight, I am going to finish watching this episode of Quantum Leap (don't ask), water my plants, have a shower and be in bed by half past ten. Then I am going to get up and get stuck into the week ahead.
The good news is although I haven't done too much exercise in the last few days, I haven't eaten badly; and certainly no takeaways have passed my lips since the blog started. I think pre-blog Ady would be tucking into chicken fried rice right now. So it's not all doom and gloom!!
It doesn't happen very often - usually I plan lots of things and keep nice and busy - but this weekend something was missing; the energy wasn't there. I started slowly and never really picked up. Maybe I was a bit tired after a busy week, but I should have got more done. Like I said, I am extremely hacked off tonight.
Right, whatever the weekend might have been, it is as good as gone; and I have plenty more of them to come I hope. So I am going to learn from this and make sure it doesn't happen again. As for tonight, I am going to finish watching this episode of Quantum Leap (don't ask), water my plants, have a shower and be in bed by half past ten. Then I am going to get up and get stuck into the week ahead.
The good news is although I haven't done too much exercise in the last few days, I haven't eaten badly; and certainly no takeaways have passed my lips since the blog started. I think pre-blog Ady would be tucking into chicken fried rice right now. So it's not all doom and gloom!!
Wednesday 6 July 2011
Emotional
Yesterdays successful weigh in was an interesting experience, one which on reflection has clearly meant more than simply two pounds lost. I think this is the reason why.
I pride myself in being a giver; someone who tries to make the people he cares about feel special whenever the opportunity arises. The trouble is that it is rarely reciprocated. Don't worry; this isn't a feeling-sorry-for-myself post. I have long ago accepted the situation, so much so that if anyone tried to do anything now, I would just feel awkward; and anyway, whoever was to do it would have to REALLY know me well, and there aren't too many of those people around (I am going somewhere with this; really I am!).
So in actual fact, the only person who can do things for me is, well.....me! This is something that I don't do often. I don't believe it's a self-esteem thing (I don't deserve it and all that), I really like myself; it's just that I've spent so long putting other people first that I push myself down the priority list.
That's why this mission I've put myself on feels so different. For once I am putting myself first. What I am doing is for my benefit. Even the fact that I am writing a blog about it is something I am only sharing with very select individuals (and of those, only one is reading it). As a result, the success I have had - and hopefully will continue to have - is emotional, liberating, and very empowering.
Mushrooms on toast for tea tonight, and an hour on Wii Fit (not in that order). Now it's time for bed (said Zebedee......boinggggggggg!). Night night.
I pride myself in being a giver; someone who tries to make the people he cares about feel special whenever the opportunity arises. The trouble is that it is rarely reciprocated. Don't worry; this isn't a feeling-sorry-for-myself post. I have long ago accepted the situation, so much so that if anyone tried to do anything now, I would just feel awkward; and anyway, whoever was to do it would have to REALLY know me well, and there aren't too many of those people around (I am going somewhere with this; really I am!).
So in actual fact, the only person who can do things for me is, well.....me! This is something that I don't do often. I don't believe it's a self-esteem thing (I don't deserve it and all that), I really like myself; it's just that I've spent so long putting other people first that I push myself down the priority list.
That's why this mission I've put myself on feels so different. For once I am putting myself first. What I am doing is for my benefit. Even the fact that I am writing a blog about it is something I am only sharing with very select individuals (and of those, only one is reading it). As a result, the success I have had - and hopefully will continue to have - is emotional, liberating, and very empowering.
Mushrooms on toast for tea tonight, and an hour on Wii Fit (not in that order). Now it's time for bed (said Zebedee......boinggggggggg!). Night night.
Tuesday 5 July 2011
Weigh in (3)
You have no idea how nervous tonight was. I've just got home from a four o'clock start (very weird when it's the middle of Summer and you still wake up when it's dark!). Almost didn't weigh in today, but I daren't risk the repercussions.......from wee Ali (she may be wee, but don't cross her!). I have done all I can this week; no fast food, eating well, and last night I worked till eight, got home at nine and - major danger of eating badly, ALERT ALERT - had.......salad for tea!!
There was a danger of joining the 'I don't know what I have to do to lose weight' club far too quickly, but I needn't have worried as I lost two pounds!!!!! GET IN THERE MY SON!!!! I am SO chuffed to bits; we are on our way. I know it needs to continue (and no, I'm not going to treat myself by eating chips!), but it has now officially begun.
There is a tiny little fly in the ointment however. You remember how I went on about how people use the scales being wrong as an excuse for not losing weight? Well I was right, the scales of the Wii Fit are wrong, as they were too light!! Now as the two pound loss was measured on the Wii Fit, I've still lost the weight; however I am actually - courtesy of a proper posh set of scales - 18 stone 9 pounds. To be honest I don't give a monkeys, I've lost the weight, and I will keep losing it until I don't need to lose any more.
There was a danger of joining the 'I don't know what I have to do to lose weight' club far too quickly, but I needn't have worried as I lost two pounds!!!!! GET IN THERE MY SON!!!! I am SO chuffed to bits; we are on our way. I know it needs to continue (and no, I'm not going to treat myself by eating chips!), but it has now officially begun.
There is a tiny little fly in the ointment however. You remember how I went on about how people use the scales being wrong as an excuse for not losing weight? Well I was right, the scales of the Wii Fit are wrong, as they were too light!! Now as the two pound loss was measured on the Wii Fit, I've still lost the weight; however I am actually - courtesy of a proper posh set of scales - 18 stone 9 pounds. To be honest I don't give a monkeys, I've lost the weight, and I will keep losing it until I don't need to lose any more.
Sunday 3 July 2011
No thanks gym.....
I totally understand the key role which going regularly to the gym can help both weight loss and overall fitness; I even used to do it at the time in my life I was slimmest and fittest (fifteen years ago, blimey has it been that long??!). These days however I do not enjoy the gym any more. It could be due to the fact that I generally feel out of place in one, or that I find it an oppressive place full of fit and toned bodies that aren't mine! Personally I think it may have something to do with what happened the last time I went.....
I was proceeding with my usual routine, which - after five agonising minutes on the cross-trainer - culminated in ten on the treadmill. I was boogying on down to the tunes on my mp3 player, with little attention to the world around me.
Now people, let me ask you a question. What is the one thing that you rarely check on a treadmill when you get onto it; the one thing that you kind of assume to be the case and ironically the one thing ABOVE ALL ELSE that you should check? Any ideas?? You naturally assume that the treadmill, when you get onto it, isn't already moving.
I could leave you to imagine the rest, but where is the fun in that! In case you didn't realise, when you unknowingly step onto a moving treadmill, your so-called standing foot is whipped from underneath your body (why I am I talking in the second person?? it happened to me!!). Once that happened, there was nothing holding my body up any more; just air.
Had I fallen on the 'mill' and rolled off, it wouldn't have been too bad, but nope; I ended up on the 'tread' which then commenced transporting my inconsiderable bulk down the conveyor like the booby prize on the Generation Game.
This moved me onto the phase of 'trying to get up', which consisted of me putting a hand down to help push myself up; or should I say putting a hand down ON THE TREADMILL to push myself up, a hand that suffered the same fate as my standing foot. So what ensued was me rolling along against the direction of the treadmill for some considerable time, until I realised my fate was sealed and sat on the conveyor as it unceremoniously dumped me off the end with a 'plop'.
Oh the trauma!! I'm honestly not sure how many people noticed, but it felt like all eyes were burning into me. The one person I know who saw me was the guy on the treadmill behind mine, whom I made eye contact with during the entire of my resigned journey down and off that infernal machine. He didn't laugh; he just pulled his headphones out and asked me 'was that treadmill moving?' and I smiled and said 'yes'.
What I actually meant was 'yes, and now I am going to leave this gym and never come back'!!
Still, it's not as embarrassing as my brother and his exploding gym shorts......but that's another story....
I was proceeding with my usual routine, which - after five agonising minutes on the cross-trainer - culminated in ten on the treadmill. I was boogying on down to the tunes on my mp3 player, with little attention to the world around me.
Now people, let me ask you a question. What is the one thing that you rarely check on a treadmill when you get onto it; the one thing that you kind of assume to be the case and ironically the one thing ABOVE ALL ELSE that you should check? Any ideas?? You naturally assume that the treadmill, when you get onto it, isn't already moving.
I could leave you to imagine the rest, but where is the fun in that! In case you didn't realise, when you unknowingly step onto a moving treadmill, your so-called standing foot is whipped from underneath your body (why I am I talking in the second person?? it happened to me!!). Once that happened, there was nothing holding my body up any more; just air.
Had I fallen on the 'mill' and rolled off, it wouldn't have been too bad, but nope; I ended up on the 'tread' which then commenced transporting my inconsiderable bulk down the conveyor like the booby prize on the Generation Game.
This moved me onto the phase of 'trying to get up', which consisted of me putting a hand down to help push myself up; or should I say putting a hand down ON THE TREADMILL to push myself up, a hand that suffered the same fate as my standing foot. So what ensued was me rolling along against the direction of the treadmill for some considerable time, until I realised my fate was sealed and sat on the conveyor as it unceremoniously dumped me off the end with a 'plop'.
Oh the trauma!! I'm honestly not sure how many people noticed, but it felt like all eyes were burning into me. The one person I know who saw me was the guy on the treadmill behind mine, whom I made eye contact with during the entire of my resigned journey down and off that infernal machine. He didn't laugh; he just pulled his headphones out and asked me 'was that treadmill moving?' and I smiled and said 'yes'.
What I actually meant was 'yes, and now I am going to leave this gym and never come back'!!
Still, it's not as embarrassing as my brother and his exploding gym shorts......but that's another story....