Mission accomplished.......
GET IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
......more later.
Monday 22 April 2013
Sunday 21 April 2013
This is it.......
After the doubt
After the struggle
After the internal battles
To face the truth
To eat well
To eat less
To face freezing blizzard conditions
To press on when I could so easy have wilted
This is it
After the people wishing you luck
Fully expecting you to succeed
After the people wishing you luck
Fully expecting you to fail
Proving them wrong
Proving myself wrong
Proving it can be done
Proving, anything, can be done
This is it
After the blood
After the sweat
After the tears
After the talk
After the blogging!
After the noise
After the preparation
After six hundred and seventy-one days........
This
Is
It
After the struggle
After the internal battles
To face the truth
To eat well
To eat less
To face freezing blizzard conditions
To press on when I could so easy have wilted
This is it
After the people wishing you luck
Fully expecting you to succeed
After the people wishing you luck
Fully expecting you to fail
Proving them wrong
Proving myself wrong
Proving it can be done
Proving, anything, can be done
This is it
After the blood
After the sweat
After the tears
After the talk
After the blogging!
After the noise
After the preparation
After six hundred and seventy-one days........
This
Is
It
Saturday 20 April 2013
1 day to go.....Words.....The Man In The Arena
Can this really be it?
It is at this moment unbelievable that after almost two years, it has come to this point; the evening before the morning after, when I will accomplish precisely what I set out to do. How many plans of much less ambition than this fall by the wayside due to lack of resolve, lack of conviction, or just plain bad luck; and yet here I sit in my - rather plush may I say - hotel room, contemplating the race of my life and possibly my greatest achievement to date.
So the big question is, how do I feel? Pretty good to be honest. It's been a weird few days. When tomorrow was in the distant distance, it was a case of as good as out of sight, was out of mind; then came the realisation over the last couple of weeks that this was really happening (mini panic, with a double scoop of 'yikes!'). Now however, so close to 'the gun' I just feel calm, focused, and ready to do the job.
I have no expectations of time, or of whether I am going to be able to run all the way. Of course I have hopes, but with no reference point all I can do is simply go with what my mind and body are telling me. Let's face it; both of these have got to be trusted if they have seen me this far.
The oh so twee phrase is 'everyone who crosses that start line is already a winner'. Twee, but true. I will cross that start line, thanks to the generosity of so many I will raise well over £1000 for a fantastic charity, I like to think I have even inspired a few people along the way. I have already succeeded, and there is immense comfort in that. As a wise man once said....the rest is just gravy.
I confess that my original intention was to end this blog on the day of the marathon, getting a friend to update their account of the run as a spectator; but I've changed my mind. It's only fair that come what may, I sign off properly next week. I owe it to any of you around the world who have been kind enough to share the journey to see it draw to a close in the right way.
So wish me luck; and I leave you with the final entry under 'words', the final subject of the month. By Theodore Roosevelt, these for me are quite possibly the most inspirational words I have ever heard. They have seen me through some of the darkest days of this challenge, and spurred me on whenever I have been in need. It is only fair that they are reserved for one of the final blogposts; they have become part of my sould, and I have pleasure in sharing them with you in the hope that they give you the same hope that they gave me.......
It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles,
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs,
who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
who knows great enthusiasms,
the great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who at the worst,
if he fails,
at least fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
It is at this moment unbelievable that after almost two years, it has come to this point; the evening before the morning after, when I will accomplish precisely what I set out to do. How many plans of much less ambition than this fall by the wayside due to lack of resolve, lack of conviction, or just plain bad luck; and yet here I sit in my - rather plush may I say - hotel room, contemplating the race of my life and possibly my greatest achievement to date.
So the big question is, how do I feel? Pretty good to be honest. It's been a weird few days. When tomorrow was in the distant distance, it was a case of as good as out of sight, was out of mind; then came the realisation over the last couple of weeks that this was really happening (mini panic, with a double scoop of 'yikes!'). Now however, so close to 'the gun' I just feel calm, focused, and ready to do the job.
I have no expectations of time, or of whether I am going to be able to run all the way. Of course I have hopes, but with no reference point all I can do is simply go with what my mind and body are telling me. Let's face it; both of these have got to be trusted if they have seen me this far.
The oh so twee phrase is 'everyone who crosses that start line is already a winner'. Twee, but true. I will cross that start line, thanks to the generosity of so many I will raise well over £1000 for a fantastic charity, I like to think I have even inspired a few people along the way. I have already succeeded, and there is immense comfort in that. As a wise man once said....the rest is just gravy.
I confess that my original intention was to end this blog on the day of the marathon, getting a friend to update their account of the run as a spectator; but I've changed my mind. It's only fair that come what may, I sign off properly next week. I owe it to any of you around the world who have been kind enough to share the journey to see it draw to a close in the right way.
So wish me luck; and I leave you with the final entry under 'words', the final subject of the month. By Theodore Roosevelt, these for me are quite possibly the most inspirational words I have ever heard. They have seen me through some of the darkest days of this challenge, and spurred me on whenever I have been in need. It is only fair that they are reserved for one of the final blogposts; they have become part of my sould, and I have pleasure in sharing them with you in the hope that they give you the same hope that they gave me.......
It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles,
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs,
who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
who knows great enthusiasms,
the great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who at the worst,
if he fails,
at least fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Friday 19 April 2013
2 days to go.........Wot no weigh in???
Sorry, no weigh in today.....I did think about packing my scales with me to my brothers, but then I realised that I am not a total obsessive....much. Anyway, surely for a reliable comparison of results you need the same scales on - pretty much - the same place on the same floor. Not prepared to risk and unnaturally high read-out this close to the marathon; I need positivity around me at the moment, and lots of it.
So for the first time in getting on for a century of weeks, I do not know what my weight is!! (and no, I'm not cheating because I have been eating like a pig and have put a stone on.....I don't think). It's a mystery to me (the game commences; for the usual fee, plus expenses..), but I will convince myself - and my knees - that I have lost a stone and a half, making the marathon seem like I am walking on the moon (giant steps are what I'll take, I hope myyyy legs don't break)..
I think I need a lie down..............I'm talking even more blarney than I usually do!
Calm again today; still at the one day at a time stage currently. Here's hoping I can keep it all under control until about 100 yards away from the finish line!!
Two days to go??????
OH
MY
GOD!!!!!
So for the first time in getting on for a century of weeks, I do not know what my weight is!! (and no, I'm not cheating because I have been eating like a pig and have put a stone on.....I don't think). It's a mystery to me (the game commences; for the usual fee, plus expenses..), but I will convince myself - and my knees - that I have lost a stone and a half, making the marathon seem like I am walking on the moon (giant steps are what I'll take, I hope myyyy legs don't break)..
I think I need a lie down..............I'm talking even more blarney than I usually do!
Calm again today; still at the one day at a time stage currently. Here's hoping I can keep it all under control until about 100 yards away from the finish line!!
Two days to go??????
OH
MY
GOD!!!!!
Thursday 18 April 2013
3 days to go..........Words.......Muhammad Ali
Needs no introduction.......
.....so why am I introducing it......??
I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'
.....it's almost like he's had some experience of this........
.....so why am I introducing it......??
I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'
.....it's almost like he's had some experience of this........
Wednesday 17 April 2013
4 days to go.......Registration
Okay; now it's very real.
In order to become officially official for the marathon, it is necessary to bowl yourself down to the Excel Arena in London's docklands in order to register. It is there you pick up your official race number, your timing chip and your 'official red bag'.
Here's me expecting to just roll up, sign a form and then leave; how wrong was I??
Should have realised that if there is something being held at somewhere with the word ARENA in it, that there is going to be a bit more going on than a few registration stalls. There was every make of running shoe, running garments and running accessories known to man; and I am sure a few that before today man knew nothing about (this man anyway) being flogged. There was a stall for every charity with an interest in the marathon (including the brilliantly named 'The Panda Made Me Do It'; charity raising money for the benefit of the natural world). Then there were the stalls advertising runs where you try and escape from zombies, and marathons in such exotic places as Norway ('the land of the midnight sun'), Iceland, and.....aaaaah bless them.... .....Milton Keynes!
The whole place was absolutely buzzing.
The most poignant of the sights in the arena was a great big wall, and numerous box-benches, on which people are able to write messages of goodwill, good luck, remembrance; whatever is most on the writers mind, or in the writers heart. When I arrived there were people of all ages with a marker pen; quite an image, not easily forgotten (who would want to?!). One could not help but walk along and read them, and they certainly brought a tear to the eye; particularly those messages of people lost and very much missed, not least of which was the message to the people of Boston, echoed I am sure by all who are running.
As for me; I could not resist having my two cents worth. I found my bit of wall off to one side and quite simply wrote.....
'Fatman, is now fitman'
In order to become officially official for the marathon, it is necessary to bowl yourself down to the Excel Arena in London's docklands in order to register. It is there you pick up your official race number, your timing chip and your 'official red bag'.
Here's me expecting to just roll up, sign a form and then leave; how wrong was I??
Should have realised that if there is something being held at somewhere with the word ARENA in it, that there is going to be a bit more going on than a few registration stalls. There was every make of running shoe, running garments and running accessories known to man; and I am sure a few that before today man knew nothing about (this man anyway) being flogged. There was a stall for every charity with an interest in the marathon (including the brilliantly named 'The Panda Made Me Do It'; charity raising money for the benefit of the natural world). Then there were the stalls advertising runs where you try and escape from zombies, and marathons in such exotic places as Norway ('the land of the midnight sun'), Iceland, and.....aaaaah bless them.... .....Milton Keynes!
The whole place was absolutely buzzing.
The most poignant of the sights in the arena was a great big wall, and numerous box-benches, on which people are able to write messages of goodwill, good luck, remembrance; whatever is most on the writers mind, or in the writers heart. When I arrived there were people of all ages with a marker pen; quite an image, not easily forgotten (who would want to?!). One could not help but walk along and read them, and they certainly brought a tear to the eye; particularly those messages of people lost and very much missed, not least of which was the message to the people of Boston, echoed I am sure by all who are running.
As for me; I could not resist having my two cents worth. I found my bit of wall off to one side and quite simply wrote.....
'Fatman, is now fitman'
Tuesday 16 April 2013
5 days to go........A Sombre Day
Today is such a sad day; since it's first running in 1981 (this year being number 33) there are few large scale events which in my opinion have been riper for terrorist attacks of some description. It is surely impossible to completely control and regulate twenty six miles plus of road, lined with hundreds of thousands of spectators. It would be so easy to plan and execute an attack, and yet thus far London has been mercifully spared. However, today is a horrible reminder of what could happen.
Devastatingly - a matter of days before the London event - the Boston Marathon has been attacked, with loss of life and heavy injury to both crowd and athlete. I have spoken before about the positivity of a day like this, with people either there to run - often for charity - or to support those who are running. I am yet to experience the full marathon atmosphere but I suspect it will put Manchester and Newcastle considerably in the shade by comparison. To target an event like this is utterly despicable, cowardly and so very upsetting. My heart goes out to everyone affected; in particular the friends and families of those who lost their lives.
I suppose that the natural reaction to this could understandably be one of fear (as if more were needed) but oddly enough, nothing could be further from the truth. The resolve of the organisers and participants of the London Marathon has only been strengthened; as has mine. I am running; no question.
There is no more or less chance of 'trouble' on Sunday than there was forty-eight hours ago. In actual fact the increased security which will be implemented in the light of events in Boston have if anything reduced the risk of further terrorist action. That alone would be enough reason to press on with the run, but there is now a higher purpose. A statement. By running, we are showing our support for the people of Boston (I believe that Virgin have something planned for that, a minutes silence perhaps? I do know that when we register we will each be given a black ribbon, which I will wear with pride). We are also telling those people responsible for the attack, that even though they think they have succeeded; in actual fact all they have managed to do is make us more determined that they fail.
My first reaction to the news at Boston is I am ashamed to say along the lines of 'of all the years to choose to run the London Marathon, it has to be the year that this happens'. Now I realise that in a strange way I am fortunate, as I have the opportunity to play a key role in London's answer to terrorism; an answer of defiance, an answer of support.
Bring..........it............ON!
Devastatingly - a matter of days before the London event - the Boston Marathon has been attacked, with loss of life and heavy injury to both crowd and athlete. I have spoken before about the positivity of a day like this, with people either there to run - often for charity - or to support those who are running. I am yet to experience the full marathon atmosphere but I suspect it will put Manchester and Newcastle considerably in the shade by comparison. To target an event like this is utterly despicable, cowardly and so very upsetting. My heart goes out to everyone affected; in particular the friends and families of those who lost their lives.
I suppose that the natural reaction to this could understandably be one of fear (as if more were needed) but oddly enough, nothing could be further from the truth. The resolve of the organisers and participants of the London Marathon has only been strengthened; as has mine. I am running; no question.
There is no more or less chance of 'trouble' on Sunday than there was forty-eight hours ago. In actual fact the increased security which will be implemented in the light of events in Boston have if anything reduced the risk of further terrorist action. That alone would be enough reason to press on with the run, but there is now a higher purpose. A statement. By running, we are showing our support for the people of Boston (I believe that Virgin have something planned for that, a minutes silence perhaps? I do know that when we register we will each be given a black ribbon, which I will wear with pride). We are also telling those people responsible for the attack, that even though they think they have succeeded; in actual fact all they have managed to do is make us more determined that they fail.
My first reaction to the news at Boston is I am ashamed to say along the lines of 'of all the years to choose to run the London Marathon, it has to be the year that this happens'. Now I realise that in a strange way I am fortunate, as I have the opportunity to play a key role in London's answer to terrorism; an answer of defiance, an answer of support.
Bring..........it............ON!
Monday 15 April 2013
6 days to go......Words......I am made of sport
I’m made of belief......not barriers
I’m made of sweat......not swagger
I’m made of many......not one
I’m made of the next point......not the last
I’m made of blazing trails......not following paths
I’m made of every hurdle I’ve cleared......not just the ones on the track
I am made of all the days you don’t see......not just the one you do
I am made of everything to come......not just what has been
I am made of sport
I’m made of sweat......not swagger
I’m made of many......not one
I’m made of the next point......not the last
I’m made of blazing trails......not following paths
I’m made of every hurdle I’ve cleared......not just the ones on the track
I am made of all the days you don’t see......not just the one you do
I am made of everything to come......not just what has been
I am made of sport
Sunday 14 April 2013
7 days to go.........Wot no run???
Eerie an kinda nice that I can just get out of bed, go downstairs and relax for the first Sunday in about two months! Tapering, so no big running today; just relaxing, not to mention a bit of delivering sponsorship leaflets around Edenfield.
On that subject for a second, note to anyone intending to deliver paper leaflets through letter boxes; and please benefit from my recent experience, I urge you!! Do not, under any account, push your fingers in so far that they poke through to the other side of the door. Most of the time, nothing will happen; but just when you start to get all blasé and all cautiousness is forgotten, a lovely little cuddly dog will attempt to take a dirty great bite out of your finger. The little b......rascal.......
I resisted the temptation to bang on the door and give the owner a good mouthful (I guess as it is across the threshold barrier of their property, so fido is perfectly within his rights to have a crack at me), and opted instead for colourful language, hopping up and down and waving my hand in the air like I had a piece of sellotape stuck to it (further note to self; not something which is of any benefit whatsoever).
In actual fact, it is less than seven days to go, as a week from now I will be sleeping at my brothers house, for once NOT cuddling my teddy bear; opting instead for a nice shiny medal!!
Every day it gets closer, as does reality. Still; there is a week of work to go yet, and I have to go and pack for two weeks away from home (back to work after marathon weekend); plenty of other things to focus my mind on, which has got to be a good thing as if I am constantly in marathon mode it is going to drive me crazy!
Too late.......
On that subject for a second, note to anyone intending to deliver paper leaflets through letter boxes; and please benefit from my recent experience, I urge you!! Do not, under any account, push your fingers in so far that they poke through to the other side of the door. Most of the time, nothing will happen; but just when you start to get all blasé and all cautiousness is forgotten, a lovely little cuddly dog will attempt to take a dirty great bite out of your finger. The little b......rascal.......
I resisted the temptation to bang on the door and give the owner a good mouthful (I guess as it is across the threshold barrier of their property, so fido is perfectly within his rights to have a crack at me), and opted instead for colourful language, hopping up and down and waving my hand in the air like I had a piece of sellotape stuck to it (further note to self; not something which is of any benefit whatsoever).
In actual fact, it is less than seven days to go, as a week from now I will be sleeping at my brothers house, for once NOT cuddling my teddy bear; opting instead for a nice shiny medal!!
Every day it gets closer, as does reality. Still; there is a week of work to go yet, and I have to go and pack for two weeks away from home (back to work after marathon weekend); plenty of other things to focus my mind on, which has got to be a good thing as if I am constantly in marathon mode it is going to drive me crazy!
Too late.......
Saturday 13 April 2013
8 days to go......Words.....The Road
I think Nike must be absolutely gutted (not often you see a blog post beginning with a line like that eh?). One of the greatest sporting adverts I think I have ever seen, advertising Nike; and Nike never used it! Why? because it was in a film called 'What Women Want'.
The brief and basic plot sees Mel Gibson working for an advertising agency pitching a campaign to the women's division of Nike. His ability to hear women's thoughts (what? and it's NOT a horror movie??!! crap, there goes my chance of a date out of this blog) give him a competitive advantage, and result in the simple image of a woman running on the road while Mel's voice narrates......(note, I have fiddled with the script a ickle bit......only a ickle bit, I promise)
You don't stand in front of a mirror before a run, and wonder what the road will think
of your outfit.
You don't have to listen to its jokes and pretend they're funny, in order to run on it.
It would not be easier to run if you dressed smarter.
The road doesn't notice if you're not wearing aftershave.
It does not care how old you are.
You do not feel uncomfortable, because you make more money than the road.
And you can call on the road whenever you feel like it; whether it's been a day, or even a couple of hours since your last date.
The only thing the road cares about, is that you pay it a visit once in a while.
The road.
No games.
Just sports.
I think it's not only a fantastic advert, it also has a ring of truth surrounding it. The road for me started as an enemy that you dread meeting, even though I knew I had to; then I got to know it, until that imperceptible moment arrived when it became my friend; something I began depending on.
Now, firmly embedded in the tapering phase, I find myself missing the company of that friend; restless. So many things kick in when I run; calm, peace, determination, courage, meditation, thought, contemplation, achievement, and no human being has ever managed to do that (not yet anyway!). Whatever happens in eight days time, I know that I have made friends for life. It may be the end of the marathon, but it will not be the end of the running.
Nike knows it, Helen Hunt knows it, even Mel Gibson knows it; I am obviously in good company.
The brief and basic plot sees Mel Gibson working for an advertising agency pitching a campaign to the women's division of Nike. His ability to hear women's thoughts (what? and it's NOT a horror movie??!! crap, there goes my chance of a date out of this blog) give him a competitive advantage, and result in the simple image of a woman running on the road while Mel's voice narrates......(note, I have fiddled with the script a ickle bit......only a ickle bit, I promise)
You don't stand in front of a mirror before a run, and wonder what the road will think
of your outfit.
You don't have to listen to its jokes and pretend they're funny, in order to run on it.
It would not be easier to run if you dressed smarter.
The road doesn't notice if you're not wearing aftershave.
It does not care how old you are.
You do not feel uncomfortable, because you make more money than the road.
And you can call on the road whenever you feel like it; whether it's been a day, or even a couple of hours since your last date.
The only thing the road cares about, is that you pay it a visit once in a while.
The road.
No games.
Just sports.
I think it's not only a fantastic advert, it also has a ring of truth surrounding it. The road for me started as an enemy that you dread meeting, even though I knew I had to; then I got to know it, until that imperceptible moment arrived when it became my friend; something I began depending on.
Now, firmly embedded in the tapering phase, I find myself missing the company of that friend; restless. So many things kick in when I run; calm, peace, determination, courage, meditation, thought, contemplation, achievement, and no human being has ever managed to do that (not yet anyway!). Whatever happens in eight days time, I know that I have made friends for life. It may be the end of the marathon, but it will not be the end of the running.
Nike knows it, Helen Hunt knows it, even Mel Gibson knows it; I am obviously in good company.
Friday 12 April 2013
9 days to go........Weigh in (91)
Back o' the net!!!
I must have been a VERY good boy this week, as 15 stone 8 pounds has now become 15 stone 3.4 pounds. Yes, that is five, five, FIVE pounds off. Get in there.
Probably the perfect week to be honest; the big run, two little 'uns, and eating really well. Simple when you (I) put it that way eh? What's with all the fuss about losing weight then? It's such a doddle.......
Just goes to show how difficult it can be sometimes to carry out the blooming obvious. Everyone knows what they need to do to lose weight, and it is so annoying that the doing is do difficult. BUT, that is not this week; this week, weight is down and life is good. Five pounds less to lug round London is going to help no end.
With the tapering phase of the training well under way, I would imagine this will be the lightest I will be for a few weeks; no big runs to sweat off the pounds. At worst I would imagine I will be around 15 stone 5 come the oh so big day, and I can live with that; plus my thighs are ever-increasing to the size of twin tree trunks so they must be getting used to bearing the strain! My knees are also thanking me no end.
Single figures on the countdown now; another point when thing become that little bit more real. Trying not to 'go there' at the moment, as if I go there I may never get out again. There's a whole nine days to go yet; loadsa time.......
I must have been a VERY good boy this week, as 15 stone 8 pounds has now become 15 stone 3.4 pounds. Yes, that is five, five, FIVE pounds off. Get in there.
Probably the perfect week to be honest; the big run, two little 'uns, and eating really well. Simple when you (I) put it that way eh? What's with all the fuss about losing weight then? It's such a doddle.......
Just goes to show how difficult it can be sometimes to carry out the blooming obvious. Everyone knows what they need to do to lose weight, and it is so annoying that the doing is do difficult. BUT, that is not this week; this week, weight is down and life is good. Five pounds less to lug round London is going to help no end.
With the tapering phase of the training well under way, I would imagine this will be the lightest I will be for a few weeks; no big runs to sweat off the pounds. At worst I would imagine I will be around 15 stone 5 come the oh so big day, and I can live with that; plus my thighs are ever-increasing to the size of twin tree trunks so they must be getting used to bearing the strain! My knees are also thanking me no end.
Single figures on the countdown now; another point when thing become that little bit more real. Trying not to 'go there' at the moment, as if I go there I may never get out again. There's a whole nine days to go yet; loadsa time.......
Thursday 11 April 2013
10 days to go.......Words.......In case of fire......
An old acquaintance of mine was a big poetry lover; not me, I thought it was all a load of namby-pamby claptrap. A bit of time in this friends company however and I was converted. I soon learned that poetry was like any other art; there is some you like, and some you just don't get. Whether you are someone who likes things to rhyme, or whether you like the rhythm of certain prose, there is usually something for everyone if you are prepared to look.
There is something about the voice of Roger Mcgough that I have always liked. He has that light, scouse lilt which fits perfectly with his work. It is almost impossible to reconcile Roger the poet - beautiful prose, cleverly writted - with Roger the member of pop group 'The Scaffold' - weeeeeeeeeeee'll drink a drink a drink to Lily the pink the pink the pink, the saviour oooooooof, the human ra-a-aaaaace.
Whilst the lyrics to Lily The Pink are unique in their uniqueness, these are not the words to which I am referring. I wouldn't exactly call them inspiring; they are clever - a kind of thinking mans 'hole in my bucket'! - but I also find them quite relaxing to hear. Even better when our Rog reads them himself........
In case of FIRE, break glass
In case of GLASS, fill with water
In case of WATER, wear heavy boots
In case of HEAVY BOOTS, assume foetal position
In case of FOETAL POSITION, loosen clothing
In case of CLOTHING avoid nudist beach
In case of NUDIST BEACH, keep sand out of eyes
In case of EYES, close curtains
In case of CURTAINS, switch on light
In case of LIGHT, embrace truth
In case of TRUTH, spread word
In case of WORD, keep mum
In case of MUM, open arms
In case of ARMS, lay down gun
In case of GUN, fire
In case of FIRE..........
There is something about the voice of Roger Mcgough that I have always liked. He has that light, scouse lilt which fits perfectly with his work. It is almost impossible to reconcile Roger the poet - beautiful prose, cleverly writted - with Roger the member of pop group 'The Scaffold' - weeeeeeeeeeee'll drink a drink a drink to Lily the pink the pink the pink, the saviour oooooooof, the human ra-a-aaaaace.
Whilst the lyrics to Lily The Pink are unique in their uniqueness, these are not the words to which I am referring. I wouldn't exactly call them inspiring; they are clever - a kind of thinking mans 'hole in my bucket'! - but I also find them quite relaxing to hear. Even better when our Rog reads them himself........
In case of FIRE, break glass
In case of GLASS, fill with water
In case of WATER, wear heavy boots
In case of HEAVY BOOTS, assume foetal position
In case of FOETAL POSITION, loosen clothing
In case of CLOTHING avoid nudist beach
In case of NUDIST BEACH, keep sand out of eyes
In case of EYES, close curtains
In case of CURTAINS, switch on light
In case of LIGHT, embrace truth
In case of TRUTH, spread word
In case of WORD, keep mum
In case of MUM, open arms
In case of ARMS, lay down gun
In case of GUN, fire
In case of FIRE..........
Wednesday 10 April 2013
11 days to go.........Oily night.....
Absolutely jiggered tonight; so most certainly time for an early one!
Tucked up in bed with Tedito Eduardo, a bit of telly then a good nights sleep. That's the plan anyway.
It's a real shame as I had a really good blogpost tonight, telling you all about the time I ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..............
Tucked up in bed with Tedito Eduardo, a bit of telly then a good nights sleep. That's the plan anyway.
It's a real shame as I had a really good blogpost tonight, telling you all about the time I ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..............
Tuesday 9 April 2013
12 days to go.......Words.....Hawaiian Rules
How many junk e-mails do we get with various lessons for life, mottoes (mottos?), messages of hope; on the promise that if we send it on to fifty one people (no more, no less) then something earth-shatteringly incredible will happen every single day for the rest of your life? It does make me laugh when I receive on, and look at the distribution list to discover I am one of....let me see, now.....what a coincidence!!.....fifty one e-mail addresses. I suppose people think that it's all rubbish, but they don't want to take any chances! Anyway that's not the point (there's a point, now that WOULD be a first!....get to it then Blaydon....); not once in those numerous e-mails that come bounding into my inbox (and may I say for the record rarely bounce back out again, unless it is genuinely good) did I see the list of 'Hawaiian Rules'.
Now I have no idea whether these are indeed the law in the aloha state, or indeed whether the list was indeed put together by a Hawaiian and not a 55 year old accountant from Bangor (it could happen!); but when I received them from a friend of mine who shall remain Wee-Ali nameless they have adorned my fridge door ever since. I love them!
In the space of these ten, sun-drenched commandments; my thoughts are provoked, my soul is comforted, and I am smiling. Wherever they came from, there are certainly lessons to be learned here; and what good is a lesson if it isn't shared.......
Now I have no idea whether these are indeed the law in the aloha state, or indeed whether the list was indeed put together by a Hawaiian and not a 55 year old accountant from Bangor (it could happen!); but when I received them from a friend of mine who shall remain Wee-Ali nameless they have adorned my fridge door ever since. I love them!
In the space of these ten, sun-drenched commandments; my thoughts are provoked, my soul is comforted, and I am smiling. Wherever they came from, there are certainly lessons to be learned here; and what good is a lesson if it isn't shared.......
- Never judge a day by the weather
- The best things in life aren't things
- Tell the truth; there's less to remember
- Speak softly, and wear a loud shirt
- Goals are deceptive - the unaimed arrow never misses
- He who dies with the most toys, still dies
- Age is relative; when you're over the hill, you pick up speed
- There are two ways to be rich; make more, or want less
- Beauty is internal - looks mean nothing
- No rain-no rainbows
Monday 8 April 2013
13 days to go....Subject of the month......Words
Words are powerful things aren't they? They communicate, they inspire, they teach, they wound, they stir the emotions, they can make us fall in love, they can make us fall out of love. They can explore the deepest reaches of our imagination. I am typing these words now, and you are reading what I am saying. That is so cool. How great words really are!!
So for the last subject of the month, as we near the end of the entire journey and the sad end of our blog relationship, I think you deserve to know the words which mean the most to me. We have spent so much time together that it is time you got to know me that bit better; better than most people who I see on a regular basis and claim to know me in fact!
They may be contained in a sentence, they may be a whole passage; but I hope you see why they have become part of me, and I hope that you feel something of what I feel when you read them!!
So for the last subject of the month, as we near the end of the entire journey and the sad end of our blog relationship, I think you deserve to know the words which mean the most to me. We have spent so much time together that it is time you got to know me that bit better; better than most people who I see on a regular basis and claim to know me in fact!
They may be contained in a sentence, they may be a whole passage; but I hope you see why they have become part of me, and I hope that you feel something of what I feel when you read them!!
Sunday 7 April 2013
14 days to go........The Last One
Now today was an extremely weird experience. With two weeks to go, today was the last of the big home runs. It's almost impossible to believe that from here on in I'll not be running anything over five miles before the you know what, you know where.
The technical term is 'taper'; where you drastically reduce the amount of training mileage, conserving energy and letting your body recover from all the little aches, pains and blisters that have amassed through weeks and weeks of intensive training and tarmac pounding (is this me talking? I think it is......intensive training??......let me check......yep, it is still me talking......). Strictly speaking I should have started it a couple of weeks ago, but I opted for adding a few miles onto the training; it's made me more confident of making the trip.
Speaking of confidence; nineteen miles!! That's a real nineteen; not an 'oops, I took a wrong turn somewhere and it wasn't really nineteen' nineteen. Coupling this with the fact that much of today's run was up and down the hills of Lancashire - giving me great hope that for a flatter surface like.....oooh....just to pick a place out at random.....LONDON - this will stand me in good stead. It's also encouraging that I wasn't trying to attract the attention of any passing ambulances to follow me in case of collapse. I mean, I'm not saying I would want - directly following the run - to have a standing still contest with the world champion; but I could nevertheless still stand, still walk - after a fashion - and still talk; even if it was to say 'I need a lie down'!
Essentially, that's it; next stop marathon. A few ickle runs of five miles the odd evening over the next fortnight, but other than that it's the final push for sponsorship, and trying to get as much rest as possible; good nights sleeps, good eating with nothing out of the ordinary passing my lips. If I can tick all of these boxes I will be a finely honed running machine; not to mention being the fittest I have ever been in my life. Actually, scratch that; I am already the fittest I have ever been in my life. It's taken me nigh on forty years, but a nice feeling once I got there.
Not bad for a nineteen plus stone lump with delusions of grandeur eh?
I'm still in the denial 'oh that run thing is a loooong way off yet; so long it is not really real' stage at the moment, and I suspect with a busy work life, and a busy life in general I will be able to maintain this sense of blissful ignorance for some time (here's hoping anyway!). I am not too sure what will happen when reality finally does hit. I was about to say 'crashing down' but that makes it sound far too negative; and whatever happens it will be all good. The options are....
The technical term is 'taper'; where you drastically reduce the amount of training mileage, conserving energy and letting your body recover from all the little aches, pains and blisters that have amassed through weeks and weeks of intensive training and tarmac pounding (is this me talking? I think it is......intensive training??......let me check......yep, it is still me talking......). Strictly speaking I should have started it a couple of weeks ago, but I opted for adding a few miles onto the training; it's made me more confident of making the trip.
Speaking of confidence; nineteen miles!! That's a real nineteen; not an 'oops, I took a wrong turn somewhere and it wasn't really nineteen' nineteen. Coupling this with the fact that much of today's run was up and down the hills of Lancashire - giving me great hope that for a flatter surface like.....oooh....just to pick a place out at random.....LONDON - this will stand me in good stead. It's also encouraging that I wasn't trying to attract the attention of any passing ambulances to follow me in case of collapse. I mean, I'm not saying I would want - directly following the run - to have a standing still contest with the world champion; but I could nevertheless still stand, still walk - after a fashion - and still talk; even if it was to say 'I need a lie down'!
Essentially, that's it; next stop marathon. A few ickle runs of five miles the odd evening over the next fortnight, but other than that it's the final push for sponsorship, and trying to get as much rest as possible; good nights sleeps, good eating with nothing out of the ordinary passing my lips. If I can tick all of these boxes I will be a finely honed running machine; not to mention being the fittest I have ever been in my life. Actually, scratch that; I am already the fittest I have ever been in my life. It's taken me nigh on forty years, but a nice feeling once I got there.
Not bad for a nineteen plus stone lump with delusions of grandeur eh?
I'm still in the denial 'oh that run thing is a loooong way off yet; so long it is not really real' stage at the moment, and I suspect with a busy work life, and a busy life in general I will be able to maintain this sense of blissful ignorance for some time (here's hoping anyway!). I am not too sure what will happen when reality finally does hit. I was about to say 'crashing down' but that makes it sound far too negative; and whatever happens it will be all good. The options are....
- surge of excitement and a nervous, excited, collywobble type feeling in my tummy
- crying
- taking it in my stride and nothing changes
- spontaneous combustion so that all remains is a pair of feet stuck inside two Asics running shoes
- all of the above
Saturday 6 April 2013
15 days to go......Philosophies......Keeping it real
You will be relieved to know that this is the last of my philosophies. Delving into my mind is interesting, even cathartic for me, but you must be crying out for an escape from this madness to make a break for the real world.
So let's see, we've covered decisions, choice, love, life and even looked death square in the face. Whether you've learned something for you, who knows; but you should certainly have learned a few somethings about me. That said, there is still one thing; one important something that brings all my philosophies together; that runs through them all. Keeping it real. This is not an easy one to explain (I confess I almost gave up writing on more than one occasion, opting to just leave my philosophies as they are), but here goes.
How often do we have unrealistic expectations from life, setting ourselves up for a massive fall when we totally, utterly and prematurely commit our entire soul to something which when it doesn't happen, totally and utterly devastates us? How often do we avoid the truth, the obvious reality that is staring us in the face because we are too scared to stare back? How often do we have total ignorance of ourselves, our very own character; and it comes as such a shock to us when something we assume will be simply 'water of a ducks back' ends up hurting us to the core.
I am not saying that ambition, hope, or even fantasy is a bad thing; far from it (have I told you about my publishing-a-best-selling-book-from-this-blog-it-being-picked-up-by-Hollywood-and-Jim-Carrey-plays-me-in-his semi-serious-Truman-Show-role dream?...no?.....I probably won't bother then....); we need to set our sights high and reach for the stars. All I am saying is don't be ignorant, especially when our hopes and dreams are centred around an unlikely reality.....
Love - I commit to love wholly and completely; I accept that this is something I must do to experience true love, and yet I am aware of myself, and prepared to take the risk. I also know myself well enough to know how I will cope should something go wrong, so I can be reasonably accurate about just how big of a risk I am actually taking
Decisions - I am not so blinded by hope and desire that I dismiss the possibility of my decisions being wrong; and again, I know myself well enough to know I can cope if the worst happens
Life - To be lived with eyes wide open; I may on occasion hide things from other people, but I will never hide it from myself
Death - I don't obsess about it, but I don't purposefully avoid it. Like I said, hide myself from nothing.
If you think I am making this sound easy, talking about it is not a problem; living it, is. Maybe it is something to be continually striven for and occasionally but not always achieved. Getting carried away is exciting, tempting, even intoxicating! I guess all we can hope for is a reality check to bring us down to earth before leaving orbit where the fall could be really damaging.
Does that make any sense? (hope not; wouldn't want to change things at this stage of the blog - har-dee-harr). Well, at least I know what it is I am saying, even if no one else does!!
So let's see, we've covered decisions, choice, love, life and even looked death square in the face. Whether you've learned something for you, who knows; but you should certainly have learned a few somethings about me. That said, there is still one thing; one important something that brings all my philosophies together; that runs through them all. Keeping it real. This is not an easy one to explain (I confess I almost gave up writing on more than one occasion, opting to just leave my philosophies as they are), but here goes.
How often do we have unrealistic expectations from life, setting ourselves up for a massive fall when we totally, utterly and prematurely commit our entire soul to something which when it doesn't happen, totally and utterly devastates us? How often do we avoid the truth, the obvious reality that is staring us in the face because we are too scared to stare back? How often do we have total ignorance of ourselves, our very own character; and it comes as such a shock to us when something we assume will be simply 'water of a ducks back' ends up hurting us to the core.
I am not saying that ambition, hope, or even fantasy is a bad thing; far from it (have I told you about my publishing-a-best-selling-book-from-this-blog-it-being-picked-up-by-Hollywood-and-Jim-Carrey-plays-me-in-his semi-serious-Truman-Show-role dream?...no?.....I probably won't bother then....); we need to set our sights high and reach for the stars. All I am saying is don't be ignorant, especially when our hopes and dreams are centred around an unlikely reality.....
Love - I commit to love wholly and completely; I accept that this is something I must do to experience true love, and yet I am aware of myself, and prepared to take the risk. I also know myself well enough to know how I will cope should something go wrong, so I can be reasonably accurate about just how big of a risk I am actually taking
Decisions - I am not so blinded by hope and desire that I dismiss the possibility of my decisions being wrong; and again, I know myself well enough to know I can cope if the worst happens
Life - To be lived with eyes wide open; I may on occasion hide things from other people, but I will never hide it from myself
Death - I don't obsess about it, but I don't purposefully avoid it. Like I said, hide myself from nothing.
If you think I am making this sound easy, talking about it is not a problem; living it, is. Maybe it is something to be continually striven for and occasionally but not always achieved. Getting carried away is exciting, tempting, even intoxicating! I guess all we can hope for is a reality check to bring us down to earth before leaving orbit where the fall could be really damaging.
Does that make any sense? (hope not; wouldn't want to change things at this stage of the blog - har-dee-harr). Well, at least I know what it is I am saying, even if no one else does!!
Friday 5 April 2013
16 days to go.......Weigh in (90)
Hmmmmm, I think I can take this one on the chin; not quite a full pound on, but enough to push me to 15 stone 8 (one on....our survey said.....); darn it.
I may have had the big run last Sunday in the pro column, but bolstering the cons was the big family Easter meal later one the same day. I'm not sure if it has become tradition elsewhere, but as at Christmas it's turkey and all the trimmings for the Blaydon clan; and one trimming in particular is my nemesis, the Moriarty to my Holmes, the Joker to my Batman, the Hyde to my seek....errrr.....Jekyll. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the bane of my life....bread sauce.
Give me a spoon and a bowl of this made from any recipe variation, and I can comfortably make a meal of it - even if the meal in question is breakfast (it looks a bit like porridge, does that count? - but the Paul Blaydon bread sauce concoction is my own personal nomination to the Nobel prize for cookery....or possibly pure evil I haven't decided yet. I am not sure what the attraction is, but I suspect that it's because bread sauce is gloopy, and has the flavour of........let me see.......
Now by some bizarre, fortunate quirk of fate, even though bread is bad for you, bread sauce is actually SO healthy. Not only that, it is widely agreed that said sauce forms the basis of a perfect marathon preparation.....you're not buying that are you? (you're shaking your head now aren't you?) this time it wasn't even worth the effort was it? (yep, still shaking your head). I'll admit; it is my weakness, and considering how much of it I ate, it's something of a miracle that I only put one pound on. The danger bells started to ring when I found myself - quite by accident you understand - tucking into a bread sauce sandwich (yes, I know; bread between two slices of.....bread!....but it just tastes so NICE!!); and yes, there was a bowl (full at the beginning, empty at the end) and spoon involved at one point.
Then there was Paul's Victoria sponge. I don't know what he did with the cream, but it tasted so nice that give me another bowl and give me the chance to clean my spoon of bread sauce and I won't be held responsible for my actions!
You may wonder why I am not a little more panic-stricken about putting weight on. Don't get me wrong, I'm annoyed; but three pounds off last week followed by one on this is still a healthy net gain (meaning a loss.......you know what I mean), so I am staying upbeat. Not only this, I still feel good, and running seventeen and a half miles (sorry, took a wrong turn on the route and it shortened it a bit; still good though) is not something to be sniffed at. Finally, I need to stay relaxed. As marathon day can be safely described as 'imminent'; tension is going to get me stressed mentally and injured physically. I need a certain amount of trust that if I keep doing what I need to do in training, that the weight will take care of itself.
Just don't throw it back in my face if I knack it all up next Friday will you?!!!!
I may have had the big run last Sunday in the pro column, but bolstering the cons was the big family Easter meal later one the same day. I'm not sure if it has become tradition elsewhere, but as at Christmas it's turkey and all the trimmings for the Blaydon clan; and one trimming in particular is my nemesis, the Moriarty to my Holmes, the Joker to my Batman, the Hyde to my seek....errrr.....Jekyll. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the bane of my life....bread sauce.
Give me a spoon and a bowl of this made from any recipe variation, and I can comfortably make a meal of it - even if the meal in question is breakfast (it looks a bit like porridge, does that count? - but the Paul Blaydon bread sauce concoction is my own personal nomination to the Nobel prize for cookery....or possibly pure evil I haven't decided yet. I am not sure what the attraction is, but I suspect that it's because bread sauce is gloopy, and has the flavour of........let me see.......
Now by some bizarre, fortunate quirk of fate, even though bread is bad for you, bread sauce is actually SO healthy. Not only that, it is widely agreed that said sauce forms the basis of a perfect marathon preparation.....you're not buying that are you? (you're shaking your head now aren't you?) this time it wasn't even worth the effort was it? (yep, still shaking your head). I'll admit; it is my weakness, and considering how much of it I ate, it's something of a miracle that I only put one pound on. The danger bells started to ring when I found myself - quite by accident you understand - tucking into a bread sauce sandwich (yes, I know; bread between two slices of.....bread!....but it just tastes so NICE!!); and yes, there was a bowl (full at the beginning, empty at the end) and spoon involved at one point.
Then there was Paul's Victoria sponge. I don't know what he did with the cream, but it tasted so nice that give me another bowl and give me the chance to clean my spoon of bread sauce and I won't be held responsible for my actions!
You may wonder why I am not a little more panic-stricken about putting weight on. Don't get me wrong, I'm annoyed; but three pounds off last week followed by one on this is still a healthy net gain (meaning a loss.......you know what I mean), so I am staying upbeat. Not only this, I still feel good, and running seventeen and a half miles (sorry, took a wrong turn on the route and it shortened it a bit; still good though) is not something to be sniffed at. Finally, I need to stay relaxed. As marathon day can be safely described as 'imminent'; tension is going to get me stressed mentally and injured physically. I need a certain amount of trust that if I keep doing what I need to do in training, that the weight will take care of itself.
Just don't throw it back in my face if I knack it all up next Friday will you?!!!!
Thursday 4 April 2013
17 days to go.......zzzzzzzzzzz
I'm already asleep......ZZZZZZZZ...snooooorrre.....see?!
In fact I might actually be blog dream post dreaming blog posting.
Oh heck, how far back does this dream go? Am I going to wake up in the morning back at nineteen and a half stone again?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Anyway; the usual long journey home and already in bed, so before it starts to become a bit Moviesformen post 11pm I'm signing off to enjoy leccy blanket and some shuteye.
Big weigh in tomorrow!
In fact I might actually be blog dream post dreaming blog posting.
Oh heck, how far back does this dream go? Am I going to wake up in the morning back at nineteen and a half stone again?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Anyway; the usual long journey home and already in bed, so before it starts to become a bit Moviesformen post 11pm I'm signing off to enjoy leccy blanket and some shuteye.
Big weigh in tomorrow!
Wednesday 3 April 2013
18 days to go...........Roll Call
Extraordinary. Do you realise that when this little bit of waffle started - as well as being well in excess of nineteen stone - my expectations for the volume of readers were limited to the odd visit from Wee-Ali and perhaps a mis-direction for people with a thing for flatulence. It really was beyond my wildest imaginings that I would be pushing on towards four thousand hits. Yes, I know that Lady Radio Ga Ga probably gets those figures in about a nanosecond, but although I have been called Ga Ga on a regular basis, there the similarity ends.
In the space of two years, I have been visited by people from the UK (hello!), the US (howdy?!), Russia (zdravstvuj!), Germany (guten tag), Australia (g'day), Ukraine (pryvit), Canada (hello/bonjour), France (bonjour), India (namaskar) and Hong Kong (ni hao!) to name only the top ten. It's so cool!!!!!
It started me thinking (sorry, couldn't help myself, I know what happened last time; the poor old milkman is still looking at me funny) that asides from the few friends and family who have made themselves known to me, I have no clue as to the identity of...well.......you! So as we reach journeys end, this is your chance to make yourselves known to me. Let's see who is out there, who is following. I don't need any personal details or anything that you may feel uncomfortable with, but it would be lovely to know who you are and where you hail from. We aren't going to get many more chances for our intimate little chats, and isn't it about time you did a little typing? |
Tuesday 2 April 2013
19 days to go.............Philosophies.........:Love
Greater minds than my own have attempted - and failed - to define what we mean by the word 'love'; and more specifically what it means to be 'in love' (I mean; I love Star Wars, but I have no desire to take Han Solo out for a candle-lit dinner and talk sweet nothings.....although Princes Leia on the other hand........). I fear that my own 'go' will be no more successful, but maybe it bears a read. I can't think of a better subject to close this subject of the month with the great, Howard Jones mystery of 'What Is Love?'
In all honesty, there is never going to be one exclusive meaning of what it is to be in love. It is different for everyone. Similarities there may be, but uniqueness will exist for every one of us. To some, love is passion, to others love may be security (be it emotional or material); but to many - including me - love is something much more complex; a complete package, a balance of things physical, practical, emotional and spiritual.
I remember a line from Sleepless In Seattle when Meg (I'll have what she's having) Ryan is having a chat with her girlie friends about men and love:
'We don't want to be in love; we want to be in love in a movie'
Now you know how much I enjoy films, so it will come as no surprise to you that I too have a rather romantic (overly-romantic??) view of love. It may even be a view which would not look out of place in one of Meg's own movies, nevertheless I object to the inference that the sort of love which occurs at the cinema, ONLY occurs in the movies. I beg to differ (oh pleeeeeeease mister; pleeeeeeeease let me differ; pwetty pwease with a cherry on top??!).
Okay; maybe I don't expect to meet the same woman at various stages of my life, finally realising that we are meant to be together forever at a new year's eve party over a decade after we first met; nor do I lurk at the top of the Empire State Building (much) hoping to find the lady of my dreams (or maybe even a teddy bear rucksack). Far-fetched they might be, but the love featured in the relationships of all these movies share in their uncertainty, fear, danger, challenge, trust; and where love is concerned I can identify with these feelings away from the cinema, in the real world. The best stories - fictional or no - are the ones where love overcomes all these doubts (conquers all).
So let's stop beating about the bush; the million-dollar question....what does love mean to me? Well, there are probably a million words which could apply, but if I was to sum it up in just one it would be......
"vulnerability"
I know it's strange to pick what is a not entirely optimistic word for something so wonderful, so let me explain.
My life is a series of 'heads' (oh yes, he is going somewhere with this; he really is). There is work-head, there is friends-head (differing according to the friend in question), there is family-head, there is even blog-head! In one aspect all of them are me - in each case certain aspects of my character are accentuated, and other aspects subdued - and yet from another point of view, none of them are me, there is always that part of me that no one sees; the part of me that I protect, the part that if exposed, can hurt, can be desperately disappointed, or can be just desperate!
It is this part which I strongly believe adds the word 'in' to love. When that special person comes along who you wholly reveal yourself to (don't be rude), and they to you. It is a scary (nice-scary), out-of-control (nice-out-of-control) feeling of vulnerability and yet you know, you feel, that you aren't in danger; quite the opposite in fact. I think it's that total juxtaposition (heaven help me; yesterday it was 'moreover' now it's 'juxtaposing'; I am such a juxtaposer.....) of risk and safety which feels so good; so exciting.
I'm single at the moment (ladies, form an orderly queue), and happy to be so. It doesn't mean I don't want to be in a relationship, I really do; but I refuse to settle. The person I genuinely fall in love with has to be someone I always think of with a sense of relief that there exists in the world someone with whom I can be entirely open, entirely free, entirely me; a me reserved only for them, and a them reserved only for me.
But who wants to listen to me on the subject, I wouldn't say no to love like this either.......
Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken
or indeed this........
"I don't know, how I feel about you; there is no one way. I feel so many things, and all at once. Happy.....kinda scared too.
Excited
Calm
Lost....but......found.
I feel safe in a way I have never known, but in danger too
This thing between us; whatever it is
It's stronger than me
Being with you, is stronger than me alone
That's new to me"
That would do nicely thanks.....!
In all honesty, there is never going to be one exclusive meaning of what it is to be in love. It is different for everyone. Similarities there may be, but uniqueness will exist for every one of us. To some, love is passion, to others love may be security (be it emotional or material); but to many - including me - love is something much more complex; a complete package, a balance of things physical, practical, emotional and spiritual.
I remember a line from Sleepless In Seattle when Meg (I'll have what she's having) Ryan is having a chat with her girlie friends about men and love:
'We don't want to be in love; we want to be in love in a movie'
Now you know how much I enjoy films, so it will come as no surprise to you that I too have a rather romantic (overly-romantic??) view of love. It may even be a view which would not look out of place in one of Meg's own movies, nevertheless I object to the inference that the sort of love which occurs at the cinema, ONLY occurs in the movies. I beg to differ (oh pleeeeeeease mister; pleeeeeeeease let me differ; pwetty pwease with a cherry on top??!).
Okay; maybe I don't expect to meet the same woman at various stages of my life, finally realising that we are meant to be together forever at a new year's eve party over a decade after we first met; nor do I lurk at the top of the Empire State Building (much) hoping to find the lady of my dreams (or maybe even a teddy bear rucksack). Far-fetched they might be, but the love featured in the relationships of all these movies share in their uncertainty, fear, danger, challenge, trust; and where love is concerned I can identify with these feelings away from the cinema, in the real world. The best stories - fictional or no - are the ones where love overcomes all these doubts (conquers all).
So let's stop beating about the bush; the million-dollar question....what does love mean to me? Well, there are probably a million words which could apply, but if I was to sum it up in just one it would be......
"vulnerability"
I know it's strange to pick what is a not entirely optimistic word for something so wonderful, so let me explain.
My life is a series of 'heads' (oh yes, he is going somewhere with this; he really is). There is work-head, there is friends-head (differing according to the friend in question), there is family-head, there is even blog-head! In one aspect all of them are me - in each case certain aspects of my character are accentuated, and other aspects subdued - and yet from another point of view, none of them are me, there is always that part of me that no one sees; the part of me that I protect, the part that if exposed, can hurt, can be desperately disappointed, or can be just desperate!
It is this part which I strongly believe adds the word 'in' to love. When that special person comes along who you wholly reveal yourself to (don't be rude), and they to you. It is a scary (nice-scary), out-of-control (nice-out-of-control) feeling of vulnerability and yet you know, you feel, that you aren't in danger; quite the opposite in fact. I think it's that total juxtaposition (heaven help me; yesterday it was 'moreover' now it's 'juxtaposing'; I am such a juxtaposer.....) of risk and safety which feels so good; so exciting.
I'm single at the moment (ladies, form an orderly queue), and happy to be so. It doesn't mean I don't want to be in a relationship, I really do; but I refuse to settle. The person I genuinely fall in love with has to be someone I always think of with a sense of relief that there exists in the world someone with whom I can be entirely open, entirely free, entirely me; a me reserved only for them, and a them reserved only for me.
But who wants to listen to me on the subject, I wouldn't say no to love like this either.......
Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken
or indeed this........
"I don't know, how I feel about you; there is no one way. I feel so many things, and all at once. Happy.....kinda scared too.
Excited
Calm
Lost....but......found.
I feel safe in a way I have never known, but in danger too
This thing between us; whatever it is
It's stronger than me
Being with you, is stronger than me alone
That's new to me"
That would do nicely thanks.....!
Monday 1 April 2013
20 days to go.........Have you forgotten something.........???
Well my friends, it is with a heavy heart - but hopefully not with too heavy anywhere else - that I must tell you the £1750 sponsorship target set for AGE UK looks to be quite a few quid too far. The final figures may not be in yet, and hopefully there will be a bit of a last minute donation surge (along the lines of Children in Need where the figures get a boost just after pub throwing-out time thanks to the inebriated donors who get a nasty shock when their bank statements arrive at the end of the month), but unless they are of tsunamical proportions I'm coming up short.
The whole experience of requesting donations has been a real eye-opener, not to mention an eye-tearer (as in boo-hoo, not rip-rip) but this final run has been particularly 'interesting'; occasionally positive, often negative.
There are the shops in and around Edenfield who without questioning donated their prizes for the local finishing-time sweepstakes, and yet despite delivering the best part of 1000 leaflets around the village it looks like all too few people are going to be buying a ticket. (Note to self; when posting paper leaflets through a front door, do not, I repeat DO NOT poke your finger too far through the letter box where it is exposed and vulnerable to a lurking dog......fatmantobitman dot ouch).
People of my acquaintance who to be honest I expected better from have looked me straight in the eye and declared that they 'don't give to charity' (is it a real reason ir purely a justification for being tight?.....I suspect...... Shame they couldn't even show their support for me), and yet known friends of friends, known relatives of friends, anonymous friends of friends, and even Kath and Richard from no. 59 have been unexpected, heart-warming contributors.
Expectations are risky things; particularly when one is overly optimistic about the outcome. I confess that I have been a bit seduced by false impressions of the majority if the human race. It is a shame, yes; disappointing, yes; but I am nevertheless buoyed by the good people who are out there (you know who you are; and if you're not sure give me a shout and I'll put you right.......either way!).
Whatever the final figure, it is what it is. I have done my best. Granted if I had my time again there are a few things I've learned by this effort. The good news is that it is going to be more than what is currently in the bank (some definite donations still to come), moreover (did I just use a word like 'moreover'??? things must be serious) I am extremely content that - considering my relative inexperience - I have done my best by AGE UK. (Put it this way; there are more than a few people who use a charity in order to secure a race place, but with no intention whatsoever of raising any money. Abhorrent).
Once more, it is a huge thank you to those people who have donated so far - it does mean so very much. For those of you who have not yet donated and your bit has never been so chomped to do just that, get your arse over to www.virginmoneygiving.com/adyblady; if you donate, then something wonderful will happen to you within twenty-four hours........if you don't, then something bad will happen within the same time.
Okay; that last part is a load of rubbish, there is no difference to your chances of good or bad things whether you donate or not; but if you do you will become one of the reasons I am doing this, and one of the reasons why this positive experience IS so positive.
The whole experience of requesting donations has been a real eye-opener, not to mention an eye-tearer (as in boo-hoo, not rip-rip) but this final run has been particularly 'interesting'; occasionally positive, often negative.
There are the shops in and around Edenfield who without questioning donated their prizes for the local finishing-time sweepstakes, and yet despite delivering the best part of 1000 leaflets around the village it looks like all too few people are going to be buying a ticket. (Note to self; when posting paper leaflets through a front door, do not, I repeat DO NOT poke your finger too far through the letter box where it is exposed and vulnerable to a lurking dog......fatmantobitman dot ouch).
People of my acquaintance who to be honest I expected better from have looked me straight in the eye and declared that they 'don't give to charity' (is it a real reason ir purely a justification for being tight?.....I suspect...... Shame they couldn't even show their support for me), and yet known friends of friends, known relatives of friends, anonymous friends of friends, and even Kath and Richard from no. 59 have been unexpected, heart-warming contributors.
Expectations are risky things; particularly when one is overly optimistic about the outcome. I confess that I have been a bit seduced by false impressions of the majority if the human race. It is a shame, yes; disappointing, yes; but I am nevertheless buoyed by the good people who are out there (you know who you are; and if you're not sure give me a shout and I'll put you right.......either way!).
Whatever the final figure, it is what it is. I have done my best. Granted if I had my time again there are a few things I've learned by this effort. The good news is that it is going to be more than what is currently in the bank (some definite donations still to come), moreover (did I just use a word like 'moreover'??? things must be serious) I am extremely content that - considering my relative inexperience - I have done my best by AGE UK. (Put it this way; there are more than a few people who use a charity in order to secure a race place, but with no intention whatsoever of raising any money. Abhorrent).
Once more, it is a huge thank you to those people who have donated so far - it does mean so very much. For those of you who have not yet donated and your bit has never been so chomped to do just that, get your arse over to www.virginmoneygiving.com/adyblady; if you donate, then something wonderful will happen to you within twenty-four hours........if you don't, then something bad will happen within the same time.
Okay; that last part is a load of rubbish, there is no difference to your chances of good or bad things whether you donate or not; but if you do you will become one of the reasons I am doing this, and one of the reasons why this positive experience IS so positive.