Weigh in (72)

You know those action movies where a guy or gal drives a car down a hill to find out that someone has cut the brakes? Life kinda feels like that at the moment; it's moving so fast and I have no chance of stopping it. All I can do is steer, pray there are no hairpin bends, and wait for the road to level out and the car to slow down. The irony in my particular analogy is that I drove for the hill in the full knowledge that the brakes were banjaxed. I knew this was coming, and terrifying and slightly out of control it may be, I have no desire to stop the car.

This particular post is not the place to explain in detail what the flippin' 'eck I am talking about - it's about the weigh in - but I promise I will. Suffice it to say that the week has been a struggle, as has my control of both diet and exercise levels. The former has been 'ok'; the sort of ok which would be great if I was still visiting the gym three times a week....which brings me on to the latter. I had a badminton match on Friday night and, well; that has been about it. Three weeks with no gym at all. Not good, especially when considering the London Marathon looms on an albeit distant horizon.

Yes I am still shaking off the sniffles - they have not completely gone away - but they are sufficiently absent for it to be a very poor excuse. I'm just out of the rhythm; as a rhythm is what it had become (almost instinctual). Granted, I may have been knocked out of it by circumstances, but one thing is for sure; I need to get back into it again as quickly as possible.

I know what you're thinking....'he's put on weight again'....as surely all this is a precursor to bad news; WRONGGGG! I came in at 15 stone 8.2 pounds, which is a 3 pound loss. Good news yes, but I feel a bit of a fraud as I don't feel I've earned it. I think the previous week's weigh in was inflated due to the night out - and meal - I had on weigh-in night, whereas this week was the traditional pre-dinner routine. I'm shaking it off though, as although I have been fluctuating, it is still not doing massive amounts of damage to the hard work I have done over the last eighteen months (weight-wise at least, not so sure about the first gym visit back). There is still time to lose weight, and still time to train for London.

I fear that the hardest part of the journey is yet to come; made even harder by recent developments, but it's very simple; the harder the task, the greater the achievement. I'm not going to give in, and I AM going to do this.

Whether by random chance or by destiny, the Great North Run DVD I ordered came through last weekend, just when I needed it. I saw the whole spectacle; and the images and feelings came rushing back, as did the feelings of nervousness, participation, pain, and glory. It reminded me that I WAS THERE, and I DID IT; and I will do it London too.

It is going to be tough though........

Thank You For The Music - Running Elite (part two)

....and now the concluding instalment of 'groovy jogging tunes to get me going, get me running, get me rocking, and hopefully get me 26 miles and 365 yards'........

Let Love Be Your Energy (Robbie Williams) - 'if you've got no love for me then I'll say goodbye'  (don't know why but I give a mock salute on the word 'goodbye', lots of funny looks in the gym...!)

Let The River Run (Carly Simon) - 'Let all the dreamers wake the nation'

The Living Daylights (A-ha) - 'Set your hopes up way too high, Living's in the way we die'

Love's Great Adventure (Ultravox) - 'Wha-a-a-oh!'

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now (Starship) - 'If this world runs out of lovers, We'll still have each other'

Ooh ahh....just a little bit (Gina G) - Well I told you this blog would be honest! Guilty pleasure this one, with the emphasis on guilty. For some reason I do a little dance routine to this aswell!

Pink Sunshine (Fuzzbox) - Great beat, plus I also just love the phrase 'Pink Sunshine, by Fuzzbox'!

Positivity (Stevie Wonder) - 'Some people live in what was and what they could have been, As opposed to living in a what is and how much they can, And be the first to complain about nothing in life going their way, The attitude is "that I can't do nothing 'bout, And very happy with just breathing in and out, The ones that when you say "lets go make a difference", They'll say "naw that's OK"

Proud (Heather Small) - 'What have you done today, to make you feel proud?'

Reach (S Club 7) - DUM DUM DUMMM, DUM DUM DUMMMBA DUMBA DUM DUM DUM!

Rev It Up (Bewitched) - It's just so blummin' cheerful!!

The Rhythm Of Life (Sammy Davis Jnr) - 'sigadigadigadurgan'

Right Here, Right Now (Fat Boy Slim) - The way the beat builds up, feels so intense

Rollercoaster (Bewitched) - 'I can't believe I'm doing thiiiiiis, I can't believe I'm DOING THIIIIIIIIIIIIIS, AAAAAAAAAAAGGGH!!!!'

Searching My Soul (Vonda Shepard) - 'I've been searchin' my soul tonight, I know there's so much more to life, Now I know I can shine a light, To find my way back home'

Second Hand News (Fleetwood Mac) - 'Bam-Bam-Bam-Bam-B-B-Bam, Bam-Bam-Bam-Bam-B-B-Bam, Bam-Bam-Bam-Bam, Bam-Bam, Bam-Bam, Do-Doodle-eee-Do' (that's what I sing anyway)

Shine (Shannon Noll) - 'Get up, get up, get up, get up, Lift your head, C'mon, c'mon, Get up out of bed, Today's the day you hold the world, With your song'

So What's The Fuss (Stevie Wonder) - Turn up the bass for the intro!!

Some Of My Lies Are True (Huey Lewis and The News) - 'Sooner or later when you say I love you, You're gonna realise that some of my lies are true'

Sound of the Underground (Girls Aloud) - 'The beat of the drum goes round and round'

Stop The Rock (Apollo 440) - fantastic beat!

Take Me Out (Franz Ferdinand) - serious guitar riffs!

Things Can Only Get Better (D:Ream) - 'You ain't never gonna know me, But I know you'

This Will Be An Everlasting Love (Natalie Cole) - 'Huggin'and squeezin'and kissin'andpleasin' togetherforever throughrainorwhatever' not to mention 'SolongasI'mlivin'trueloveI'll begivin' toyou I'llbeservin'causeyou'resodeservin'

Tubthumping (Chumbawumba) - 'I get knocked down, but I get up again, You're never gonna keep me down'

Two Tribes (Frankie Goes To Hollywood) - Another intro in perfect rhythm with my running!

UP! (Shania Twain) - 'When everything is goin' wrong, Don't worry, it won't last for long, Yeah, it's all gonna come around. Don't go let it get you down, You gotta keep on holding on'

Warriors (Ronan Hardiman) - Instrumental......raw....dark...power.....

The Voice (Ultravox) - 'Native these words seem to me, All speech directed to me, I've heard them once before, I know that feeling'

Wave Your Flag (David Bisban & Knaan) - 'Give me freedom, Give me fire, Give me reason, Take me higher'

When The Going Gets Tough (Billy Ocean) - 'I got something to tell you, I got something to say, I'm gonna put this dream in motion, Never let nothing stand in my way' (no double-negative sarcasm please)

When Tomorrow Comes (Euruthmics) - 'When you need someone to depend upon when tomorrow comes'

Well, that's it! There will no doubt be a few toe-tappish, foot-stompish additions over the next six months - I'm currently on about 4 hours and twenty minutes of music so another ten songs should get me to the finish (any nominations?) - but these for me are top of the list when it comes to eliciting positivity, power, strength, energy and courage; I don't know about you but I think this is a successful recipe for completing a marathon.

Give them a try sometime. Who knows?!...you might even start liking Gina G..... Okay that might be hoping for a bit too much - and you might want to steer clear of Bewitched - but the rest are pretty good; promise!!

Weigh in (71)

There is a teeny tiny chance that the wheels may be falling off at the moment. No way to sugarcoat it, now weighing in at 15 stone 11.2 pounds, which represents another three pounds on. Half a stone in a fortnight takes some doing doesn't it?! Even I was surprised this time. As usual, before getting on the scales I did the usual flashback of what I did (credit) and what I ate (debit), and although it was far from ideal I would not have arithmeticked a week-end debit of this magnitude.

So what has got the wheels so wibbly-wobbly? You know that unsettled feeling I talked about last week? Well, it still hasn't gone away; although a decision (see previous) has been made, action inevitably has to follow; some of which are going to be highly unpleasant, and others merely come under the category of 'significant upheaval'. All of the above is hardly commensurate with de-unsettling (isn't there a better word for that?!!) my current state of mind. Focus is proving very hard to gain, and even harder to maintain.

The gym trips have dried up once again too; haven't been at all this week. I just can't snift the shiffles at the moment, and am nervous about going back before I am fully fit. Some people say that exercise can shift a cold, but surely it depends on how bad the cold is; it could just as easily make it worse and I don't want two weeks away from the gym to become a month. The diet has been okay, but without working up a sweat three times a week what was a dietary misdemeanour has now become a capital offence (shooting the sheriff being downgraded to a slap on the wrist).

No fast food this week, nevertheless there was a fair bit of indulging at the weekend at our family bonfire night. Got a bit of exercise with all the preparations, but that was more than counteracted by the sandwiches, burgers and mulled wine which were finding their way - quite by accident you understand - into my gob. Then on the night of a much later weigh in than usual it was a trip out to see the new bond movie (excellent film; particularly on the giant IMAX screen, even I fancy Daniel Craig when his pecs are that size!), ended up at Papa G's again for a regular BBQ Chicken burger and fat chips, with a side order of.....fat chips (incidentally fat chips are not as bad as they sound; the 'fat' refers to their size. They are more like wedges, so more chip and less fat....I'm not convincing you am I?!!). As my usual pre-weigh-in routine is a trip to the gym and getting on the scales before I have dinner - opposed to going out, having a big dinner, and getting on the scales in the early hours of Wednesday morning - there is mitigation in this week's result which hopefully will revel, or even reveal itself when I get back into the usual routine.

I'm trying not to panic Mister Mainwaring (that should be a challenging pop culture reference for any non-UK residents), at either the alarming weight gain or the fact that two weeks out of the gym will put me several steps back in training for London next year (okay; typing that has got me a little bit panicky........panic growing...........we are now at def. con. 2; see I can even do U.S. cultural references!).

I know, noone ever said this was going to be easy; and like so many things that are worth doing there are challenges along the way. Strangely enough I need them, we need them; they test and strengthen our resolve to succeed, and not be defeated by the obstacles put in our way, by fear, by doubt (see post on 'The Adjustment Bureau', see; there are common themes running through my life!). So what am I going to do......?

1. Not panic
2. Eat careful
3. First badminton match for three weeks on Friday night (should be interesting!)
4. First gym trip for two weeks on Sunday morning (taking it gently)

The prospect of taking positive action is already a comfort, and makes me confident of getting the weight going in the right direction this time next week (regretfully not as quickly as it went upwards I fear.....little steps.....little steps....). I also believe that the cycle of 'feeling poorly = no exercise=putting on weight=feeling crap=feeling poorlier......' vicious circle can just as easily become 'light exercise=feeling better=losing weight=feeling better still=more exercise=more positivity=feeling betterer stiller' with a few tweaks and a bit of effort. Life's schedule appears to be getting back to some semblance of normality now so I feel I'm ready to get back to the gym and have a go without doing myself much of a mischief; the rest should follow.

Fingers crossed for better news next week.