WELCOME

Hello there everyone, and welcome to my blog (hats off to 'Blogging for Dummies' for teaching this dummy how to....you know!).

I am overweight; make that very overweight. I think the technical term is 'morbidly obese'....ouch! Over the last few years I have had a few health warning shots, enough to make me realise that although there is nothing going on with my health that can't be reversed; my time is running out to do something about it before something really bad happens.

So this is my journey to health, and the plan is an ambitious one. I want to lose weight, and I want to get fitter; fit enough to run the Manchester 10k in May of 2012, fit enough to run a half marathon towards the end of 2012, and then fit enough to run the London Marathon in 2013, where the blogging journey will end at the finish line down the Mall.

I write this in the hope that the words and thoughts of both myself and readers can inspire me when the journey gets difficult, then hopefully people can be inspired by my story; believing that the most difficult journey is possible.

I make a promise to you that I will be honest - if the wheels fall off and I have six pizzas in two days, I will come clean - and I will do my very best. Share it with me.

......Wish me luck!!

Wednesday 31 August 2011

Weigh in (11)

If you are thinking that it is not a good sign for me to be blogging a day late from my Tuesday weigh-in, well.......that's because it isn't! Two pounds on this week, weighing me in at 17 stone 11 poonds.
In my defence, I have actually only put on 1.2 pounds, but the law of sod has pushed me over the half pound mark, so I am suffering from a scorching bout of roundupitis.
It has been a weird thought pattern since the weigh in. Initial reaction was 'WHAT?!! I can't believe it, and I have no idea what I have done wrong!!!'. Then.......'oh, there was that foot long chicken-in breadcrumbs subway which I had......with cookie and coke'......followed by a touch of.......'aaaah yes, I missed a morning of swimming at the weekend, and didn't go to badminton training tonight'.......then increasingly more sheepishly.........'I seem to have quite a few empty cider bottles in my recycling bin...' SO, what have we learned from this experience people? We have learned that if you don't do as much exercise, and eat more unhealthy things, you run the risk not only of not losing weight, but putting weight on.........well........deeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
So I am calling this weigh in, a week-off (the subway was particularly magneeeficent by the way, mmmmmmmmmm!), but it's back to work. An hour on the Wii-fit tonight, and ricey chickeny thing for tea. My halo is once again, hovering above my head. By the way, do I get another two bottles of aftershave if I get down to 11 stone 9 again?? Pleeeeeeeeease?????
On a more positive note, I finally managed to make it to badminton club last Friday, and each to a man commented that I had lost weight.....and yes, they said it before I did! I'm not looking for validation, but it's nice for my efforts to be visible. Just got to keep it going.
Will up the blogging posts now; and as a tempter, I have both decided the next subject of the month, AND my reward for losing the next 14 pounds (and trust me, you may be able to guess the former, but you are never in a month of Sundays going to guess the latter!).

Tuesday 23 August 2011

Weigh in (10)

Here's me thinking that breaking 18 stone for a second time would de-value the experience; may I say what a load of crap that idea was, as it feels fabulous....again! It's probably made all the more sweet by the fact that I am the lightest I have been for God knows how long, as I am now weighing in at seventeen stone...............nine!!! I am elated by this, and also surprised. I was a good boy, but not a brilliant one; no fast food and no big sinning, but the odd jam sandwich before bedtime had me feeling guilty and certainly not expecting this result. What I have done is gone swimming twice, done a half hour of step, and just come back from an hour of badminton training. Clearly that amounts to more calories burned that two jam butties!
It comes at a particularly good time, as I have had a hell of a frustrating and crappy day at work, and am feeling a bit tired and rough as a result of it. This has been the perfect pick-me-up. Not only this, I have also taken my August photos which should soon be uploaded onto the slide shows on here (if you click on them you will be able to see them in gory largeness). There are definite and distinct signs of reduced bellyness, particularly from side on. Feels goooooooooooood!
Finally, I have just realised something else. I have lost 14 pounds in total (Weigh in (3) was when I bought the posh scales, which weighed me in at 18 stone 9 pounds); and the last time I looked, 14 pounds is...........ready for it.........1 stone! Not a pebble......not a boulder......a stone!!! YAY! I'm still going to measure weight loss in pounds (there is something of an anticlimax with going from 14 somethings (pounds) to just 1 something (stone), I like numbers that just keep going up!).
Now, have you been paying attention? What am I going to be doing this weekend?? Well, I get paid on Friday, so am off to Debenhams to pick myself up a bottle of 'The One' and 'The One Gentleman'. This was my planned reward for 14 pounds lost, and I don't think anyone reading this blog (or writing it!) can argue I haven't earned it.
Today my friends....life is good!

Sunday 21 August 2011

Supermarkets - nosey nosey!!

We all do it, but not many of us admit to doing it; a few of us do it without even knowing we are doing it. As for me; I do it, I know I am doing it, and I know I will keep doing it...
When things have ground to a halt - usually at a till queue, occasionally when blocked from the next item on your shopping list by someone else's trolley, and of course not forgetting being stalled behind the numtee who can't park his trolley properly (I have a real problem with those guys in case you hadn't realised!) I have a bit of a wandering eye; and that eye takes me to the content of other people's trolleys and baskets.
Now, I confess that I am the last person to pass judgement on someone else's life; however I just can't help playing the 'what does your shopping say about you' game. Here are the commonest types, and my associated translations.....speaking as a man, I am telling this from the perspective of a male shopper....
Charcoal, 8 sausages, 48 cans of lager and 48 cans of cider ('it's a sunny day, got the boys coming round, and I think the sausage/booze ratio is just about perfect').
Fruit, vegetables, quinoa, wholemeal pasta, quorn sausages, 100% wholemeal bread, Mars Bar ('the wife wrote my shopping list, and the Mars Bar will be gone by the time I walk over the threshold')
One baked potato, one carrot, two ready meals, six pack of baked beans ('could I be any more single?!! but hey, isn't Tesco's the new night club for picking up birds? see you by the eggs....nudge nudge, wink wink')
8 melt-in-the-middle chocolate puddings, 4 packets of Pringles, 6 boxes of chocolate chip cookies, 4 packs of butter (tricky one this; either....'my kids have reeeeeeeally terrible diets, and this lot won't last long with those lot eating me out of house and home' or possibly........'I hope you all think that I am shopping for the family, and I am not in actual fact going to go home and scoff the lot in front of a Lord of the Rings/Star Wars all-nighter')
Love it!! Of course not only can I be the judger, I am no doubt at times the judgee. Who knows what my trolley of super-duper healthy food (honest!!) says about me? Right now I think I am foxing a lot of people; as I am an overweight guy with food which does not match an overweight guy. I am guessing the resultant theories would be 'he is shopping for someone else' or 'dodgy thyroid'; hopefully a few will guess the real reason! I might throw in a couple of pounds of LARD just to maintain the stereotype.
This draws to a close the monthly subject of 'Supermarkets'. Coming next............wait and see!! (another way of saying 'I have no idea'!)

Wednesday 17 August 2011

Weigh in (9)

Not good, not good; but I promised to be honest so here goes. Sorry I'm a day late in posting this week; I did weigh in yesterday, but I was out and about last night so didn't get the chance. Forgive me!!
One pound on this week. I can't say I'm totally surprised; it's a been a funny week all in all. Things have gone a little bit mad workwise (tonight finds me in bed before having to be up and on the road by 3:30am for a 9:30am meeting in Dorset), resulting in me being pretty tired, resulting in not maintaining vigilance over what I am chucking down my throat. No major binges, and no fast food; just what I think is a lot of little things. That bit more marge on my bread; and for that matter, more bread (I've started to have a couple of slices with dinner), the odd cheeky jam sandwich before going to bed. Then there's the sausage factor......nope, it's not a pornographic version of the Krypton Factor, in actual fact it is my inability not to eat a whole pack of eight bangers in one sitting. It goes like this; defrost them all, cook them all....when cooked, sneak one of them into a slice of bread with some ketchup (one down, seven to go). Then five with my dinner (six down, two to go). Then one usually goes somewhere between the end of dinner and bedtime, with the final one taken upstairs for a decadant 'in bed' snack.
The weird thing, is that until recently, I thought that this could be considered part of a healthy lifestyle! Our survey said............EEEEEEEEEEE ERRRRRRRR. Won't happen again, I promise. I have to admit, my willpower is never going to overcome the sight of some lonely looking cooked sausages (are you thinking what I'm thinking??) so I will split the pack into two lots of four, which means all I will defrost, is four, all I will cook, is four, and all I will eat.........you see where I am going with this dontcha??!!
So vigilant man is back on watch. Tomorrow is going to be a tough day, a total of ten hours on the road (shouldn't there be a law stopping you from spending more time driving than at the destination you are driving to?!!!). The temptation will be to sin my arse off (technical term) when I get back, so I will defrost some spinachy rice and chicken breasts to do when I get back. No naughties!
So in case you aren't paying attention, I am now at 18 stone dead; personally I like the idea of breaking into the 17 stones again!

Saturday 13 August 2011

I've got the runs!!

No, don't worry; I haven't fallen off the wagon again, and gone on a fast food binge so bad that it has wreaked havoc on my digestive system. I am referring to barmy 'phase two' of the grand plan to run the Manchester 10k next May, a half marathon towards the end of 2012, and the 2013 London Marathon. Phase one being of course losing enough weight so carrying out phase two does not result in both of my kneecaps exploding, and the collapse of Tower Bridge.
Like everything else, this grand plan will consist of lots of small steps; but there will also be moments when things become that little bit more real. That happened this last week when I booked my place on the Manchester 10k, plus I've picked the half marathon which I will be doing next year; and it's a biggie. So it's the Great Manchester Run, followed by the GREAT NORTH RUN, and finishing off in London; quite a combination.
When I think of the end of the journey, it can be quite emotional; I can almost imagine how it will feel to cross that line after so much trial and effort for two years; the feeling of completion, as well as the feeling of a new beginning. It will be powerful; either that or I will be so bone-shakingly knackered I won't even be able to remember my own name!
But there is a fair bit of water to pass under the bridge until we get there, so it's back to a big bowl of salad, my spinach ricey thing (you may hear a lot about that) and a couple of salmon fillets.
One final question; I own Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on DVD......why then am I watching it on TV?!!!!!

Tuesday 9 August 2011

Weigh in (8)

Isn't seventeen a wonderful number? Seventeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen; there is something perfect about that number.......seventeeeeeeeen......say it with me.....se.....vennnnnnnnn......teeeeeeeeeen. Not only is it a thing of beauty, quite by coincidence it is now the prefix of my new weight. 2 more pounds down, which makes me seventeeeeeeen stone thirteen! I know it's just another week, and I haven't lost an excessive amount of weight, but crossing the 18 stone/17 stone barrier feels like I have lost a lot more weight this week. It's kind of the same theory - in reverse - of turning a milestone age, and telling yourself you're only one day older than you were yesterday when it feels like anything but.
I am running into a little difficulty though, when I looked in the mirror after getting home from work. The casual chinos I am wearing are beginning to look like the type of leggings last seen on Krusty the clown. They are mighty baggy and in danger of falling down (and no matter how much weight I lose, that is never going to be a good thing); so it's on with a belt in the hope that I can keep on wearing them for a little while before having to consign them to the 'not that fat any more' pile. Trouble is, there is a good chance that whatever I buy to replace them might be shrunk out of in a fairly short amount of time. Now I know what my parents went through while I was growing up!
So what's worked this week? I just think that above all else, the cutting out of fast food has been pivotal to the success so far. I'm not denying myself volume; I do have a good appetite and enjoy a big plate of food. All I am ensuring is that the big plate is full of things that won't put me on the connery ward.........errr..........make that coronary. I really enjoy chicken, tuna, sausages; and I am not avoiding these things. All I am doing is making sure that I don't overdo how much of it I eat, and the plate is full of either salad, roast vegetables (thanks Ali.....mmmmmmmmm..........by the way, that mmmmmmm was for the roast veg, not Ali.........not that I'm saying Ali doesn't merit an mmmmm, it's just that......... .......you know what, I'm just going to stop digging.......) or my spinachy rice thingy. The final and absolute key is planning. If I get the chance, plan my evening meal before I leave for work in the morning so I can defrost whatever I need. At the very least, plan the meal on the drive home. Only once have I reached 6pm on a day without knowing exactly what I would be eating.....and that once was when I had my Chinese blow-out.
Which reminds me to leave a note for myself; one of the subjects of the month will have to be recipes!
Well that's me for the night folks; sleep well.

Sunday 7 August 2011

Supermarkets - the zig zag of desire/doom

By now I think you may have realised that my 'subject of the week' has turned into a 'subject of the month'! Why do I get the feeling I think about supermarket life WAY too much?!
Picture it; walking into a supermarket neck and neck with another customer, let's call him - for the sake of argument - Norm. You and Norm are in the veggie section (you really don't know what spelling mistake I made with that phrase!), picking all those yummy healthy things that you're going to be throwing into the bin in about a week. Norm decides to go one way round to the next aisle, and you take the other.......you see where I'm going here?
Rounding the corner, who should be coming towards you - surprise surprise - but........Norm!! Thus begins the zigzag; everywhere you turn, there he is coming towards you......by the time you reach the booze, the amount you have seen him in twenty minutes would qualify him for a position on your Christmas card list.
So why doom or desire? Well this depends completely on the identity of Norm. He may be a he, and that 'he' may be someone who is distinctly uneasy on the eye. To make matters worse he may also have the aforementioned skill of parking his trolley in daft places (in front of the milk, length ways in the aisle, five metres inside my personal space......of five metres radius). Every time you pass him, he tries to catch your eye; whereas you treat him as you would a particularly peckish looking rottweiler who has just chewed through his leash.....of steel.....and look anywhere but in his eyes. To make matters worse, no matter how quick or slow you go to try and lose him, he seems to match your pace. By the time you reach the till you are a quivering mess of paranoia......and guess who is behind you in the queue............ .....when every other till is free.
In case you were wondering, this is classed as 'doom'. The desire is when Norm, is actually a lovely Norma, and every corner turned is a pleasure. I do manage to stay on the right side of indecency, as wolf-whistling and drool is SO not Tesco's; I just acknowledge that it is nice to look at a pleasant looking lady!
On occasion I have to admit I do try communication; brave move I know! Fortunately I have so far got away with it. Something along the lines of 'hello again, I haven't seen you round here for at least....what.....thirty seconds?' or perhaps 'it looks like we are going to be bumping into each other a lot today, so I thought I would introduce myself.....'. Of course, if nothing else comes to mind, the old favourite of 'we must stop meeting like this!!' So far none of the ladies I have said these to have abandoned their trolley and called security.
It's been an ok week so far on the health side; no big splurges but not really pushing it too hard either. Been swimming twice this weekend, so hopefully that should do the trick and get me below 18 stone. One event of note is that I went out for lunch with the folks yesterday; lots of yummy melted cheesy things to choose from, but went for a smoked salmon salad. I joke about it....but is my body truly becoming a temple??

Tuesday 2 August 2011

Weigh in (7)

Blimey, this thing is really starting to work! 18 stone 4 pounds, to 18 stone 1. Fabulous!! Kudos goes to WeeAli, who has been over here for the last four days or so and has been ensuring that I eat properly. Although, come to think of it; while ensuring I ate properly, she ate a bacon bagel and a lovely (looking, not tasting......I resisted!) slice of chocolate cake. No doubt she will say she was testing my resolve, and may I say I passed with flying colours!!
Seriously, many thanks to you Ali, it was good having you over; and any time you want to be my full time nutritionist then please let me know. But your contract will not involve whooping me at Scrabble when I have a lucky 70-odd point start on you.
Anyway, enough of my failures, on to my success!! Just think, this time next week I may well be 17 (ah say, ah say, ah say.........17 ) stone something! I have not been that light for a long time (would be ironic if I was last lower than 18 stone when I was 17 years old wouldn't it?!!!!). The encouraging thing is that I have achieved this weight loss despite the burger on Thursday (and chunky chips.....mmmmmm!). Goes to show that it is not the naughtiness that ruins a diet; it's the resultant depression which leads to more and more naughtiness.
So it's an early - and rather smug - early night, after another impressively healthy dinner! Night night (I almost put an 'x' there, but I really don't know you well enough yet!)