21 days to go.......Smashed it!!

Possibly the most surreal Easter Sunday of my entire life!! The hour going forward, which meant that the half seven start was actually a......yaaaawwn......half six start. Yes, at a time when I was traditionally on my third chocolate egg (the Easter breakfast of champions!) I was leaving the house, desperately trying to remember the 'new route'.

Despite last Sunday's tricky-run, I was in good spirits, first of all for having the gumption to get up and out, second with me being a three pound lighter me, and thirdly I was looking forward to a flatter run than the rolling, brutal hills of Edenfield!

It was all going so well until I realised something - a little late. You know how I was thirdly looking forward to a flatter run? Well I realised that in order to look forward to a flatter run, and RUN a flatter run; you have to PLAN FOR a flatter run. Note to self - and a cautionary tale to the rest of you - a run which takes you over, up to and around an area called 'Marple Ridge', is NOT a flatter run; in actual fact it is EVEN BLUMMIN' HILLIER, than Lancashire!!! Let that be a lesson to you; a lesson to not be a total idiot!

Hard though it might have been, it was of huge benefit that the steepest of the hills were through the middle of the route (and not towards the end), when I was still full-ish (very -ish) of running/staggering. Plus not being too sure when the hills were coming along meant my body stayed relaxed; need to keep it loose in future, keeps the muscles from over exerting (do I sound like I know what I'm talking about??).

Noone else was daft enough to be out at that time of the morning, but they started to emerge when turning for home. I've said it before and I'll say it again; I love the 'mini-community' which you join as a roadrunner. Thumbs up, waving, high-fiving, not to mention the respect of your fellow joggers. So cool!

I'd planned on seventeen miles, but factored in an option for an extra mile if I felt like having a crack at it. Hitting eighteen miles - with hills - might well afford me the opportunity of this being by last long run before 'tapering down' (technical term for 'put your feet up and give the road a chance to recover, as well as your legs'). I'd like to be all dramatic and say that at seventeen miles I was on my last legs yet screwed my courage to the sticking place and soldiered on; but to be honest I felt pretty okay so there was no reason to literally go the extra mile. Eighteen miles!!!! Yes, you heard me.....eighteen miiiiiiles! That's like, running a mile....eighteen times. Lots of pumping the air, lots of yelling; and the best thing is that being at Mum's meant there was a hot bath already run and waiting for me (thanks sis!).

After that it has been a slightly less successful day; no chocolate (despite being bought four chocolate eggs.....saving those for post-marathon, when they may well vanish in a frenzy of cream eggs, Lindt bunnies and Twirls....oooh it's gonna be ugly), but did succumb to a couple of slices of my brother's Victoria sponge, not to mention a lovely, biiiiiig turkey dinner. I sense damage limitation in the air this week....... Can't afford to reverse all the good work I've done; time to batten down the hatches!!!

As for whether I am long-running next week; time will tell!!  

3 weeks.........3WEEKS!!!!!!

22 days to go.........Philosopsies.......Death

I did warn you that we would be delving deeper!

This was a subject which I almost avoided, as isn't that what most of us do? Avoid talking about it? Avoid even thinking about it? For something which affects and eventually comes to us all it is the definitive elephant (elephant's graveyard?) in the room. I guess the thinking behind the head-in-the-sand technique is the knowledge that no matter how much we talk about it; death - when it will happen, how it will happen, what it will feel like, and the ultimate question of what life if any exists beyond - is an undiscoverable unknown; with even the experiences of people who have been clinically can be explained away as physical and not spiritual reactions. Facing up to the fear death with no end to uncertainty, is no fun; so why talk about it eh? Anyway; for what it's worth, here is my take on the ultimate journey.

For starters, let's have no illusion on the matter; dying scares the crap out of me. For some people it's the build-up, for others it's the actual act (?!) of dying, and being aware of it; for me it is simply the thought of not being alive any more. I love being alive, being conscious, thinking, exploring, moving, existing in and being part of this world. Life is a huge gift which I have never and will never take lightly, and not being part of the world, not even being aware of....well.....anything....is a thought which at best is a bit scary, and at worst is truly terrifying.

I sound like a true atheist don't I? (when you die, you die, and that's your chips mate!); but in actual fact I'm a Roman Catholic (hardly the way I should be talking, I know, life ever-lasting and all that!). So many religions, sects, spiritual beliefs are out there; each with their own versions of life after death (ascending souls, reincarnation, heaven), and I truly hope that such a life exists. I will even go as far as to say that there are so many interesting, believable -  and not to mention spooky - stories out there which could be called 'evidence' that death is not the end; to make me hope that consciousness, awareness, life, goes on.

My mind and spirit is open with regards to this subject which if not tainted with apprehension would be incredibly fascinating to contemplate. I am realistic about all the things that might happen, as I am about the fact that there is only one way we will ever truly know. One thing I can say, is that talking about it (see the above) is a really cleansing experience. The unknown it may be, but death is one of the few things which unites every living being on the earth (I think that's pretty cool) - whether you a celebrity, the president of the United States, or even a Business Development Manager from Stevenage - and when it comes to our particular human living being I am totally convinced that we are similarly united in our fear of it, our attitude towards it. Shouldn't be anything stopping us talking about then should there?!

Death is inevitable; one of the few things which we can do nothing about, yet we still have a choice in front of us. We can choose now, to live well, and die well; the definitions of which I would imagine will be different for us all. I hope I live up to my own expectations, and more importantly when my time comes, I hope I am ready, and have as they say 'left it all on the field'.

 "Hold nothing back, put it all on the line. Don’t end the game feeling like you could have given more. Don’t leave feeling like you played it safe when you had the opportunity for something greater."

 Not a bad motto to live - or indeed die! - by.

23 days to go.........Weigh in (89)

Well that is something of a HUGE relief may I say. If I hadn't lost weight this time then it would really have been a case of having no clue what I am doing wrong. I've been so near to a saint this week that even Mother Teresa would be pointing her bony finger at me and calling me a goody two-shoes.

So, my head, my heart, and my knees are delighted to divulge a weight loss of three pounds (slightly less, but roundy downy from 15 stone 7.4) to bring me in to 15 stone 7. It's felt really good this week, and more importantly it hasn't felt like too much of a struggle. Considering the disaster of last Sunday's failed attempt at 17 miles, it's good to have something positive to dwell on, and give me optimism for the next long run in a couple of days. To turn things around from falling 1.5 miles short one week to success the next, I needed to get fitter, and I needed to get lighter. Two mini-runs behind me this week have ticked the former, and the result today is great news and has diminished the nerves which have been jangling since the personal humiliation of having to hobble home, in between having to take a rest. (I've seen people in similar situations, and they always have my sympathy, but it is scant consolation; believe me, I know!)

This is now the template I need to adopt for the few weeks ahead; if I can do that then maybe 26 miles might not be quite so much of a marathon marathon!

The weekend is going to be quite a test. Family doings at Mums; where there will no doubt be a significant amount of indulgence flashing before my eyes in the form of chocolate, chocolate and, more chocolate. I don't want another weekend of putting weight on, but with the best efforts this week it might still prove too difficult. Part of me wants another weight loss, but the realistic part of me will quite happily settle for breaking even and setting myself up for a concerted push over the last couple of weeks.

Good grief, does that REALLY say 23 days??????

24 days to go.....Location Location Location

Pop quiz hotshot……what do the following have in common……?

·         My bedroom

·         My front room

·         The office where I worked (Arkoni)

·         The office where I work (Propak)

·         My hotel room in Stevenage

 This far this has been an exhaustive list of the places where I have written my blog……until now…..as there is one more to add to the list……..

·         Norton Canes service station on the M6 toll

 It’s the big, pre-Easter holiday rush, and with both matrix signs and traffic reports warning of nasty things further north I have decided to spend some quality time with my laptop and a Costa Coffee Red Berry cooler (one of my five a day…….so let me see….so far today, that makes – carry the one, add the remainder – one!).

It’s quite a pleasant experience actually. I’m well over half way home, there are lots of people to watch, and I have the most wonderful thing of all……..time! I know that if I made it all the way home I would just flick on the sofa and flop on the telly; but being here, I can read, I can relax, and I can write! I now realise why J K Rowling herself chose to begin writing those whatsisface books (trying to sound like he doesn’t really know much about them, and didn’t actually queue outside Waterstones at midnight……….for the last three in the series) in a café.

 So far it’s been a good week; I think I have done well, but I had a visit from the NSPCCC last night (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Custard Creams). Rather than face a jail sentence, I had to finish them off……

 …..you’re not buying that are you…..?

Okay, I have not been an absolute, bona fide, true blue – white? – saint; but by comparison to previous weeks I have done SO much better. If I can get out for a quickie run tomorrow night too, then that means eating better combined with a three-run week; I’ve not managed anything like that for quite a while. I confess I will be expecting a good weight loss tomorrow night; hope I’m not setting myself up for a fall.

 Out and about delivering sweepstakes invitations tomorrow; deep joy…….

25 days to go......Time flies by when you're.....

.....nope, not the driver of a train; the lesser known second verse of that Trumpton (Chigley? Camberwick Green?) jingle contains the line "time also flies by when you are commuting to Stevenage and back from the north-west of England, and your days are spent being a Business Development Manager".....I'm guessing that's why it IS lesser known.

Afraid that this is one of those tired-boy posts when I say H and G (film test anyone?); that's Hi and Goodbye for those not in the know for the cool, hip lingo people.

Already in bed, had my Subway sandwich (Quavers; no cookies) and I've got the sitting-up-in-bed pillows arranged beautifully! Time to make good use of them.

Nightie night!!

26 days to go......On The Up!!

Okay, confidence on the rise; and operation 'Butchers Pencil' is in full flow. Have been watching everything I've been eating, and not overdoing the portions.  Breakfast this morning was porridge and toast - de-cerealled - and I am proud to confirm that the custard creams which were waiting for me in the hotel room last night are still in an extraordinary state of untouchedness 24 hours later.

I know it's pathetic, but of all the challenges that 'butchers pencil' has set me; it's the hotel room biccy willpower of which I am most proud! By the time the next room occupant stays there, the poor soul is going to expect nice, fresh, crumble-crispy biscuit.......and they are going to get.....oh dear.......

It's still blummin' chilly out, but I am also delighted to inform you that there was no costume malfunction - gloves, compression top, ipod, woolly hat....the lot! - and as a result I managed to get a five miler in this evening! It was a little bit of a nerve-wracker, as even though vastly reduced in length by comparison it is still my first run since the tricky one last Sunday where, shall we say, 'things did not go exactly according to plan'.....puff...puff....blow....blow.....agony.....agony.....stop (that was an episode of Ivor The Engine which never made it onto the screen). It went excellently well though (excellently well? hardly the Queen's English.....how about 'spiffing'??); and quick too. Compared to the pace I did my very first iddy-biddy run it feels like I'm sprinting! On reflection I think that might have been another factor in Sundays problems. When you end up walking the last mile and a half of a seventeen mile route (with a few sitting-down-for-a-rests thrown in), and still come in at an average of only just over ten minute miles it is both an amazing achievement but a warning to control my pace.

Great isn't it? The not knowing why things went wrong is the worst feeling; but once you find the reasons why, realise the issues are fairly easily put-rightable, and you make plans to ensure that things are........put right; positivity floods in!

I say that now.....just wait till this Sunday's run....I'll be bricking it!!

Speaking of which; am I really going to be able to go out for a seventeen-miler on Easter Sunday?? At my Mums for a family do......that should be interesting; mind you, at least it will give me some different - and hopefully a bit flatter - scenery to look at before I really start to hate Bury (nothing wrong with Bury I hasten to add, but right now Bury = pain!!).

Night off from running tomorrow, but NOT a night off from Butchers Pencil; I do feel sorry for those custard creams...might bring them into work and see who wants to put them out of their stale misery.

Operation 'Butchers Pencil'......(27 days)

Sorry about last night; not one of my finest........ain't THAT the truth?!

Nevertheless, a good nights sleep and a busy day at work and things are already looking brighter. Time is a healer and all that eh? First of all, fifteen and a half miles can hardly be called a failure; yes, it may have fallen short of the intended seventeen miles, but it is still a long way and not as much of a leap backwards as it felt like yesterday morning.

Secondly; I am herein - by the power vested in me by......me (never vested a power before; feels kinda nice - officially launching 'Operation Butchers Pencil' (best I could think of off the top of my head.....and Overlord was taken, okay?!!). Whether I am currently capable of running twenty-six miles at a weight of fifteen stone and ten pounds, one thing is for sure; it will become a whole lot easier if I can bring that weight down. Think about it; a bag of sugar is approximately two pounds in weight. If I can lose eight pounds, that is four, FOUR bags of sugar that I won't have to lug around with me. FOUR BAGS OF SUGAR!! I find one heavy enough while lifting it into the boot of my car, but quadruple that is....well.......just.......really.....heavy. I can hardly imagine what effect losing that sort of weight would have on my running, but I am itching to find out.

So this week, and for the three weeks to follow, I am going all out to shed the ballast. No eating rubbish, smaller portions, plenty of exercise, and watching every morsel that passes my lips. The breakfast that was cereal, porridge and toast is now going to be just porridge and toast, and I am even going to - drum roll please - avoid the hotel room biscuits (and it's custard creams tonight, a considerable test of willpower......the positive though is that if I don't succumb I avoid them being replaced by the willpower-melting evil of.....the - Eastenders duff-duffs -.......Bourbons!!). Not setting myself any targets, but it would be lovely to get as close to fifteen stone as possible. If I can stick to the plan I've got every chance, even a couple of pounds off will make seventeen miles that much more achievable.

Hark at me, taking control during a difficult time; that's so unlike me............

......come on Blaydon; time to dig deep again.......and I have a really BIG spade.

27 days to go my friends......is it me or does it only feel like a week since it was triple that number???

Stealth Negativity........(28 days)

It's been almost two years since I began this blog; and in that time I think it's safe to say that I have written and acted in a positive manner throughout. Whatever negatives have come along have usually resulted in a positive answer (net gain), but today I have to confess to being pretty cheesed off, angry and upset. In sincerely hope this is not the 'tune' of the next four weeks, as that is exactly how long there is to go. That's four weeks, 28 days!!                                                                                                               

The last twenty-four hours have been far from something to write home about (unless the letter reads 'Dear Home, I've had a rubbish day'. It all kicked off last night with back to back phone calls from two people. Don't get me wrong, they are great, good people, and they say what they say because they care an worry about me;  but it was a classic case of not having a clue what effect their words have on me. First there was the 'I'm trying to show you all my support, but I'm really worried about you, I don't think you know what you're doing, I don't even think you are going to finish the run without stopping, and I really don't have enough of a poker voice for you not to notice' (there is more than one person like this - the type when talking about the training, or my 'chances' in the marathon the first thing that comes out of their mouth is entirely negative an critical in nature - but usually I'm ready for them, this one caught me off guard).

Call number two was strength-sapping, and the person on the other end of the phone - who really ought to know better - does not seem to realise how nervous I am at the thought of the oncoming weeks; and in particular falling short of the mark. It was just a weird phone call, and I hung up the phone feeling anything but energised; just tired. It doesn't take a genius (it can't really if I can think of it) to know that this is not a good way to feel the evening before a seventeen-mile run.

At the time I couldn't understand why, but this morning I just didn't feel 'right'. My mind wasn't in the right place; in actual, simple and honest fact I felt defeated before I made it out of the front door. It was a brutal morning, snow dotting the ground; strong, sub-zero winds, and a resolve which did not carry much resolution. It wasn't long before my mind started to drift to the conversations of the previous night, and if there was ever any doubt as to the physical effects of negative thought, let me put your mind at rest; I have proved it.

I felt terrible, physically and mentally. It was hope that kept me going as long as I did; that and the fact that the longer I ran for before stopping, the less distance I would have to walk the rest of the way in the freezing cold! On reflection it was a miracle that I made it almost sixteen miles, but everything was hurting (forgot to take my painkillers before leaving; think that might have made all the difference for the last mile and a bit), and although I might have been able to go the distance it was the fear of doing myself an injury that forced me to stop just over a mile before home.

It's not easy to write about a failed run; especially one that comes less than a calendar month from start date. I'm worried; worried that I might not be ready, and worried that the next long run might be just as much of a disaster as today. I know that it's not unusual (to be loved by anyone, da-nananana-naaaaa) to have these last minute problems, but right now I am anything but confident.

So what am I going to do now? Firstly, not panic; secondly, go for the seventeen miler next weekend; thirdly, make sure I get some weight off this week (upping the mileage after putting on weight is not going to help); and fourthly, I'm not going to answer the phone on a Saturday night!!

Sounds like a plan, and a plan means hope, and hope is positive........

.....now that's more like it!!

Philosophies.......Life......(29 days)

Why should it be that it seems going from 30 days to 29 is so much bigger a 'thing' than going from 31 to 30??!

So.....life......what's it all about?....why are we here?......surely these questions are some of the great mysteries of......life!

Some of the greatest minds have attempted to define it:

• Life is beautiful (Vincenzo Cerami)
• '42' (Douglas Adams)
• Life's short (Warwick Davis)
• Life is hard (Pretty much everyone at sometime or another)
• Life ain't easy (Dr. Hook)
• Life is like a box of chocolates (Forrest Gump)
• Life is a tale, told by an idiot; full of sound and fury, signifying nothing (Shakespeare, chirpy old chap isn't he??)

I'm with Vincenzo, and amazingly I have to disagree with the great bard himself. I hope you have worked out by now that I am essentially a person who believes in not only positivity, but also the power of positive thinking; I therefore find it very hard to identify with such a pessimistic attitude to life. It goes so much against my grain. I guess what Shakespeare is trying to say is that the impact one person's life has on the world is so diluted by the world entire that it really does not matter what they do; it makes no difference.

Poppycock. If we all thought that then no one would strive for anything, no one would inspire us, we would never inspire others, hell; I wouldn't even be typing about weight that I couldn't be bothered losing, exercise that I couldn't be bothered doing, and a marathon that didn't exist because no one could be bothered running it.

......and yes; I am aware that I have used the word 'poppycock'. I won't do it again; I promise. Balderdash however, now that is a different matter.

So what is my secret of life? Two words; that's all, two words which came to me at one of those times when life was hard. No, let me rephrase that; life was hard, but I couldn't remember why; yes, really, not a clue. It kind of went like this......

Something bad (I feel bad) followed by several things which ordinarily wouldn't be that much of a problem but were magically magnified by my own negative mood (I feel worse) creating a downward spiral of miserable moodiness (worse still) which persisted even when the original bad thing was dealt with, EVEN; when the original bad thing was forgotten. All I was left with was a whirlpool of negativity which I never even thought about getting out of; I even found myself walking with a slight stoop.

It was the stooping which woke me up, as I suddenly saw myself - felt myself - doing it. After getting over the shock, I reverse-traced the above paragraph (still couldn't remember what the original problem was), and had no rational explanation for feeling the way I was feeling. I was angry; not at life - quite the opposite - the anger was directed at myself, for wasting life. I would never get those days back.

Surely, whatever someone's philosophy of life may be, it can't include becoming and staying miserable can it? There is just no sense in it. Whether life goes on past what we can prove, whether life is all there is, whether the echoes of our lived life eventually cease resonating, surely it is the right thing to endeavour to make our lives a positive experience for ourselves and the world around us?

It is something I realised right at that moment, and the two words I wrote on my little blackboard/noticeboard as a result - nearly twenty years ago - stand there still and will always serve as a reminder during those times my mind and spirit falters......

'Enjoy it'

Seventeen miler tomorrow......another chilly day, just how I like it!!

Weigh in (89)......(30 days)

Thirty days to go.....and I still haven't got it right. Good God I am SO bad at this. It's two pounds on and now back to my old favourite of 15 stone 10 pounds (9.6 actually;  that makes me feel sooooo much better, like hell). It's like an old friend......that I never really liked but seem to be stuck with, and they won't leave me alone.

It is plain and simple; the diet I am currently on is just not working. It is one which I think should work, but time after time I am proving myself wrong. I have to do more; I just have to do better, it's not good enough. Twenty six miles is an awful long way, but it is going to feel a whole lot easier if I can get some more stuffing weight off. It is not just one thing; it seems to be lots of niggly wiggly things......too much for breakfast... ...biscuits in the hotel room......too much bread back at home....who knows? I know if I can keep it tight and maintain the exercise levels then the results will go my way. Talking about it is really easy may I say; it's the actual doing it that appears to be the problem.

I refuse to get maudlin, but it is such an easy trap to fall into; the closest I have ever got to saying 'What do I have to do???!' Not going to say it though (pretend I just didn't). There is still time to put things right. Losing weight is going to have long term benefits way beyond the marathon, but it's safe to say that the race itself is proving a strong, short-term incentive.

Weirdly enough, despite the result, I still feel really good; strong, alert, in control (which considering my life at the moment is a mini-miracle in itself). Maybe there is some truth in the old muscle weighs more than fat theory, and if my legs are anything to go by that might be the reason for putting on weight (I'm a lean, mean, leggit machine). Anyhoo; whether truth there be or truth there be not, I need to get weight off. Even a couple of pounds might make all the difference to my chances of finishing the marathon (always preferred Double-Deckers myself; have I cracked that joke yet??) and still being able to walk.

You must be getting tired of the 'this week I REALLY have to make it happen' speech; and to be honest so am I. Come on Adrian; don't talk, just do. Four weeks, that's all I have to maintain focus for and then I can take a break from it all (not completely returning to old nasty habits, but possibly popping in to see them for a quick cup of lard.....errrrr.......tea); it really will all be worth it.

Won't it????

Philosophies....Choice......(31 days)

Confused? Has Ade finally lost it? Has he finally run out of things to say to such an extent that he is duplicating posts ('Decisions Decisions' followed by 'Choice')?

To be honest I had to check myself; I am not sure whether there is dictionarily a difference between a decision and a choice (would you like me to research it and bore the bejesus out of you with an explanation? tell me if you do........no?.......okay, have it your way then....); the words are interchangeable, but to me a decision is proactive (you decide), whereas a choice is reactive, the response to a situation that is thrust upon you, or you are thrust into. I have covered decisions, but the unpredictability - and often cruelty - of life may well make our choices that much more important. I believe Albus Dumbledore said it best when Mr. Potter was worried that he might have ended up in naughty-wizarding house Slytherin....

'it is not our abilities to make us who we are; it is our choices'

How true. We all have skills, but it is our choice what use we make of them; for good or for evil, for the people or for yourself, for money, for power, for happiness, for peace, for love. You see how important choice now becomes; it really can move mountains, but you know what I love about choice (now this will really mess with your head).....?

You always have one, you always have a choice; very occasionally you don't......but even then, you do!

No, it's okay; I haven't been sitting in the sun for too long (there isn't enough sun to stroke anyway!), I really am talking sense.....or at least I think I am talking sense even if no one else is.

Good things happen, bad things happen; we deal with them, we navigate through them with decision and choice. We rarely notice our choices for the good stuff, they may be instinctive rather than conscious, but we still make them (do we choose to control it? do we choose to let go and enjoy it with freedom? do we take action to prolong it? do we choose to worry about it ending? do we choose to curb our feelings for the same reason?).

Choice becomes slightly more prominent during the bad times; how many times do we exclaim in frustration that 'I don't know what to do'?! It's not usually true; we know what the options are, but are just too nervous about making a choice. We even often know precisely what we are going to choose but for some daft reason procrastinate over committing ourselves to it..

Choice is good, it is exciting, full of possibility! It is a path; it is a 'way'. I am rarely put in a position where choice is taken away from me, and I am a firm believer that there is 'always a way'; the destination will be the same even if the original route is not.

If you are sensing a 'but' coming along you are mighty perceptive (you clever thing!), as there are those occasions when things happen to us over which we have no control. At those times we say we have 'no choice in the matter'; and yet, we still do. Okay we do not have any control over the events that befall us, but we do have the choice of how we react to it. One can choose how to take the lack of success on a prime time Saturday night tv programme (with grace, or with bitterness). Even  someone who is dying, has the chance to choose how they will die; do they do it with dignity, providing an example to those still living, or do they choose die badly?

Think about it; no matter what happens to you, you will always have a choice in front of you. It is just so (technical term coming up here......) brilliant!

Whatever choices come your way; I hope you make the right ones! 

Smuggerson Speaking.....(32 days)

I really should know better than to shoot my mouth off about how easy it is to run five miles the night before......running five miles...... It is the perfect opportunity for the little imp of destiny (second cousin to the Easter Bunny) to say 'nya ha haaaaa, I'll show him' and give me cramp, trip me up, rain on me, or all of the above.

Must have been his day off though, as it went extraordinarily well. It is such a contrast from when I first did that run (commonly called hotel-work-hotel; don't know why I am telling you as you will never work it out it's such an ingenious, uncrackable code). I would be exhausted by the time I reached the office and turned for home/hotel (ooops, that's given the game away), making the return feel desperately long. Now the half way point comes as a surprise and......voice hushes to a whisper.....I am actually a bit sad when I get to the finish as I was actually enjoying (ah-say ah-say ah-say enjoying!) it so much!!

This really isn't me; and if in actual fact it IS me, then who am I and what have I done with the REAL Adrian Blaydon??! I fully expect a ransom note in the post shortly; don't think I'll pay it though, really not keen on having him back.

So it is time to peel off the figure hugging, second skin, wearing this to keep warm and fully aware that compression tops and bottoms are more Yucci that Gucci, gear (I may be fitter but I still look a bit of a plonkity plonka in the woolly hat; NO amount of the new me is going to make that outfit work) and jump......don't want to take any risks.....step gently into the shower.

That paragraph jumped about a bit; if you understand it could you explain it to me, the grammar checker has gone berserk on it.

Anyway, more of my Phil Schofields of life tomorrow!

Death, taxes and.......(33 days)

I have not a clue who it was who first said that there are only two inevitabilities of life (forget about your worries and your strife!) was not talking about my life, as that particular smart arse missed one. Yes, the third inevitability of my life is Stockport County; like it or loath it (care to take a guess??) it is as much a part of my life as eating my vegetables, putting out the rubbish bins or root canal treatment.

Tonight was the oh-so glamorous tie taking place between County and Luton Town (how it didn't make into onto Sky Sports 1 I have no clue). It was a game of two halves, both of them dreadful (root canal looking more and more appealing!); the highlight of the match (besides the final whistle) was seeing my brother (yes, the County v. Dartford one) and his lady, partner, common-law-wife-but-not-actual-wife-as-they-aren't-quite-married-yet-oh-do-please-get-a-move-on person. Great to see them, but not only this; they came bearing gifts of cold (salmon sandwiches), frankenstein (flask of coffee) and hot cross buns (hot cross buns); so it made the evening far from a waste. Just a shame about having to do it all at a football match really.

We lost - falling off your chair with surprise.....I know...... - but only due to the fact that Luton were marginally less rubbish than we were. Oh never mind, it's only a game.........sob......

Could have been worse. The poor Stockport fans were taking to their coaches at 10pm, bound for their four hour journey home; I on the other hand was bound for my twenty minute hop back to the hotel room and an in-bed cuppa-cha (char?).

Anyway, changing sport tomorrow from watching to participating. Donning the Compeed plasters once more for a sweaty and I fear chilly five-miler round the psychopaths of Stevenage.....that should make me run a bit faster eh?

I know I keep saying it, but I can't get over making a throwaway comment like 'five-miler'; making it sound so darned easy (because it is.....smuggy smuggy smuggersonship). There was a time that my Sunday morning biggie was not even that long. If I didn't know any better I would say I am making some slight progress.......!

Well I Would Run Five Hundred Miles.....(34 days)

You just can't beat a bit of The Proclaimers, but just this once I have put them to shame. I mean; they only WALKED five hundred miles. Okay okay, they may have walked five hundred more, but nowhere in that oh so catchy song do either of the Reid twins say anything about running!

Now Tears For Fears; they RAN the world, I'm not fit enough to so much as shine their shoes!!

Not sure about you, but I have been wondering what the current mileometer is reading. When we last spoke (okay, when I last wrote and you last read; thank you Mr. Facetious) at the end of January we were just over the 500 mile mark; now, on March 18th (34 days from the big day, and only a handful of 'big training runs' left) we are at 608 miles!

To put it in context, it's roughly.........

• the distance from Aberdeen to Dover
• 2044 laps of an athletics track
• 0.1% of the way from the earth to the moon
• a reeeeeeeally long way!

All being well, the marathon will tip me - over the edge?....naaaaah! - into the seven hundreds. Who'd have thunk it eh; that right at the beginning of this mission we would be talking (don't start Mr. F), a matter of weeks before the London Marathon, about running a total of seven hundred miles?!! I can't believe it, never mind you.

But, believe it I do; and unless you think this is a humongoose hoax rivalled only by theories of faked moon landings, believe it you should!

It is a strange mix of emotions. As the finishing line (metaphorical and literal) approaches, one can't help but reflect; and the more I reflect the more nervous I get that something could trip me up at the last minute (wouldn't be the first time!). It is a double-edge sword that while the chances of that something happening diminish with the countdown, so too do the chances of me recovering from that something.

Let's hope that the only something which happens involves cheering crowds, cheering me, and a nice, shiny, Muttley-style medal!

Mum..........that's Norah Blaydon to you Mister! (35 days)

I feel there is a certain completeness with this 'cluster' of runs that I'm doing (that's the collective pronoun for running, didn't you know?!.....he lied). There is the obvious reason that they are increasing in length, culminating in the longest and most prestigious of the lot (although right now I kinda wish I'd started with the marathon!). What makes it all the more special is that the Greats Manchester and North have been run for the British Heart Foundation in loving memory of my Dad, Peter Blaydon; and now the biggest and best is for AGE UK in loving and living (still with us!!) memory of my Mum, Norah Blaydon.

Mum is the female half of the dynamic duo otherwise known as 'my parents'. She is quite simply a kind, strong, intelligent, caring, gentle, occasionally stubborn but utterly-beautiful-in-every-way woman. She has been that way for all the time I have known her (biased? me??), and I suspect no matter how long I turn the clock back or forward, the same descriptives will apply. She also merits the same plaudits as awarded to Dad for successfully rearing six children during so many tough economic climes where money was on more than one occasion very short. Speaking as a man with no kids and often finding life less than easy, I see this achievement as nothing short of spectacular.

I know with Dad I selected anecdotes; certain events that I associate with him (walking, my university plans, emotions, regrets) but that is not so easy with Mum. There are fewer 'stand-out' moments with her. She has just been a constant; always there, always reliable, always supportive (even if it meant saying something you didn't want to hear), always allowing us to be ourselves, to make our own future, to back us up. At first, I thought that the phrase 'always there' was a really boring thing to say about someone; but in actual fact it is the best thing you can be, especially as a Mum. No fanfare, no whistles and bells; just presence.

That said, there might be a few bits which are just so........Mum......!

Chips!
Nope, not the greasy fried kind (mmmmmm....chiiiiiiiiiiiips!); this is the card game kind. It's a variation on chase the ace?.....ringing any bells, or have I totally lost you now?! Never mind, I'm sure you've played it even while calling it something different....anyway that's not the point! Get to the point Blaydon (it's around here somewhere.....)
I would say it is the first real memory of Mum I carry with me, and the perfect example of something so simple being so memorable. On so many evenings, I remember sitting in the kitchen, watching Mum finish up the washing off (those being the days when not everyone owned a dishwasher; unlike now, when Mum...still doesn't own a dishwasher!), badgering the crap out of her to play a game. She never did turn me down. First to 100 loses!
After a while it became a bit of an evening routine. Funnily enough, I don't remember much about the game itself; but counting the number of plates left for Mum to dry before we could play is certainly an image I cannot forget. That's all a little boy wants isn't it? A chance to spend some time with his Mummy; and time was certainly something which Mum never deprived me of. Oh, and before you tut-tut about me not helping wash the pots, at five years old I was nowhere near high enough to reach the kitchen sink!

Famous Five
Oh how happiness was as easy as Julian, Dick, George (he was a girl you know?!), Anne and Timmy the dog! I admit it, I devoured the books when I was a ickle one and could get through a book in one day without breaking a sweat. Every time when Mum went shopping, the familiar mantra ringing in her ears was 'MUUUUUM! CAN YOU BRING ME BACK A FAMOUS FIVE BOOK????' and as soon as she brought one back I was gobbling it - metaphorically - up.
Sadly, Mum's shopping trips were not frequent enough to keep me Fived full time; often I was left to find alternative literature.....miserable come down after the climax of another adventure.....('Five Go To Kirrin Island', 'Five Go To Kirrin Island Again', 'Five Revisit Kirrin Island Getting a Bit Samey Now', 'Five Getting Sick To The Back Teeth Of Kirrin Island') I would on my lowest days resort to.......gasp......The Hardy Boys (shudder).
Mum though, on occasion, had a trick up her sleeve. She didn't buy the one book, she bought two! Imagine my delight when she produced 'Five Go To Billycock Hill', suddenly taking me from the sadness of a book end, to the beginning of a new adventure!
If you are thinking 'what is he doing, bringing this up as such a ridiculous story?!!' you are very entitled to your opinion, but the smarter people among you will see this as an example of someone who is exactly in tune with what a little boy likes and wants, and wherever possible - not always! - gives them just that. Basically a perfect Mum!

Ireland
I'm sure I am not alone in having difficulty imagining my parents as a younger boy and girl, but I got a thick slice of the young Norah when we took a week's holiday to County Clare. Kilkee was where Mum was born, where she grew up; and where she was....wait for it.....A GIRL!!
The stories came flooding out, the family, the stories, the tying a vicious goat to the front door of a neighbour's house, the walking barefoot down to the well to pick up water; we even went to her school, and found the hook where she used to hang up her coat! In no time I went from finding it impossible to imagine Mum as little, to being impossible not to. Mum seemed so much younger. It was a truly eye-opening experience, and I can categorically confirm that my Mum - now over eighty years old - used to be a girl!
It is a quite beautiful country, and I learned a lot about Mum's - and of course, my - heritage. In that week I gained a new appreciation for Mum; how difficult and how simply beautiful life had been for her, and without doubt how difficult it was for her to leave all that for the North West of England. Such courage.
I sat next to Mum on the flight back across the Irish sea, and as I turned away from the window, she was a flood of tears. Asking why she was upset, she took a look outside at the disappearing land; waved, and said 'bye bye'. It was heart-breaking. I guess she knew then that she would never return there.

And Now??
Mum is as beautiful as ever. I don't think I am betraying a lady's modesty by telling you she is now in her eighties, and rattling around on her own in a house which used to accommodate her, Dad, and six children. This is her home, and she is quite right to want to spend the remainder of her days within those four walls.
She has had her difficulties, but right now is doing brilliantly. This is down not only to the love and care she gets from her children and grandchildren, but from the help she gets from so many sources; not least of which is Age UK.
I love my Mum, as do my siblings; but we also all have our lives which Mum fiercely ensures that we keep on living. It is the natural order of things, I know; but before we got outside help, this meant that the only times when Mum saw anyone was at the weekends. For sure it left Mum under-stimulated and lonely (it would me!); and the guilt and worry would kill me when I go home after spending the weekend with her; leaving her in that huge house. I would ask myself whether I am a bad son for driving away, but I didn't have a lot of choice.
Enter stage left, AGE Concern and various other organisations who specialise in care for the elderly whilst allowing them to remain in their homes. She now has a much more older-friendly environment to live in (handrails in all the right places), and has regular visits, both from people to help her with the basic practicalities of life, as well as to just spend some time with her. As a result, Mum is so much better; hell, she's got a busier social life than me!!
Let's not sugarcoat it; Mum's time with us is limited, and with the remaining years she - we - have left the mission is utterly and completely simple; we just want her to be happy. The help she is now getting has done so much for her quality of life, and the results are so clear to see. I am so thankful to all those people who have 'made this happen', and running the London Marathon for AGE UK is I think a fitting way to honour them, and of course my Mum.

Norah Blaydon, mum; I love you very much, and this one's for you xxx

Philosophies.......Decisions. decisions (36 days)

About two and a half years ago, I had the good fortune – which sadly turned into MISfortune – of appearing on primetime Saturday night television; and no, I am not kidding……

Before you get carried away and start googling ‘The Adyblady Experience’ or something like that, be assured that it was not my very own show (that was canned before it got on the air). Instead it was as a contestant on an extremely popular quiz show called ‘In It To Win It’. Although recorded in advance, it straddles the national lottery draws, and Dale ‘wild in the aisles’ Winton is host. While sat at home, watching it I never suspected that I would be one of the people in the tv looking out; even when I applied I thought the possibility as remote as the gadgets that change station on the TV; when I got the phone call to tell me ‘you’re on!!!’ I began to get an inkling of a vague notion that sometime in the future I would be sat in my front room, watching myself!

The very basic plot of the show is that you hopefully get to ask a few questions, you hopefully get to ask a final question to win some money, and you hopefully go home holding a cheque for a nice tidy sum. The three contestant outcomes are…..

1. You win a share of the pot (anything from a few grand, to a cool £100,000

2. You get a multiple choice question to win a share of the pot wrong, and go home   with squat

3. You sit on stage for the entire show, get asked no questions....and then go home with squat

 

Out of the five contestants, any of these outcomes could happen to any or all of them. However, you have to be extremely unlucky to get outcome number three (the law of averages states that you should at least get asked  a question or two……..you are way ahead of me here aren’t you??)

Not only did I get outcome number three; I had to watch while each of the other four contestants took home over sixteen grand apiece. One could not help but feel a little, shall we say….singled-out!

So why am I telling you this? I suppose you might think – knowing how it turned out – that I regret the decision to apply in the first place; but you couldn’t be farther from the truth. Okay, the result was unfortunate and a bit upsetting for a time; but I am pleased to say that the whole experience was utterly brilliant. I got to meet Dale, I got to meet my fellow contestants who were all worthy winners, I got to be on telly; and more than anything else I got the respect of so many people for behaving with dignity and integrity (is that the same thing?). People who I had lost touch with even sought me out on social networking sites just to commiserate with me. Now all that is reward in itself, and although the prize money has surely run out for my fellow contestant, my prized memories are just as vivid.

So I don’t regret going, as I knew what could happen; both the good and the bad. It is this process which I use whenever I am faced with a big choice. If the best happens; top banana, but I am not seduced by success to such an extent that it blinds me to the fact that the dream might not come true. I accepted that what happened, might happen; and I also knew myself well enough to know that I could take it and still enjoy the experience. I know me well enough to be honest to myself about myself; so failure turned out not to be a shock to the system, failure turned out to still be enjoyable; failure, in the end, turned out not to be a failure at all.

Incidentally, I’m not saying that if you realised failure was something which would devastate you it is not worth the attempt; but admitting what your reaction would be allows you to make a fully-informed decision as to whether it is worth the risk.

There are so many things I have taken with me from that day; the ovation I got from the studio audience, the director who put her arm round me and said ‘don’t take this the wrong way, but I knew that of all the people this might have happened to; you would be the one to handle it best’; and finally the father of one of my fellow contestants who shook my hand with a smile, looked me straight in the eye and said ‘you are destined for something special’.

One thing is for sure; I made the right decision.

Weigh in (88)

Now THAT's what I'm talking about!! Back of the net!!!!!!

I know what you're thinking, someone who starts a post with eight exclamation marks has either spasmed on the shift-1 button (and their delete button doesn't work) or he has some good news.....and I can confidently say....there ain't nothing wrong with my delete button! (ooops, there goes number nine!....and ten.....)

Two pounds off this week, bringing me in at a cool and sleek 15 stone 8 pounds dead (it's quire refreshing not to have to round-up for a change). Surprising really, as I have only managed one training session (tonight, five miles.....FIVE MILES!! still haven't got used to talking like that sort of distance is like popping down to the corner shop) this week. Seems I have been a much better boy with what I have been eating though.

Don't get me wrong, I am extremely pleased by the result; but if the truth be known I am a little nervous about where I am going at the moment. I keep prattling on about regaining and maintaining control over what I am eating, and even though this weigh in has gone well, it owes itself a lot more to good luck than good judgement. It is only because the temptation has not been shoved in front of my eyes too much that I haven't been tempted (at least I don't openly go out hunting for it I suppose). The worry is that if next week's course of events goes even slightly different, then my eating could just as easily go to pot, and the weight goes back on again. That's pretty much the story of the last couple months isn't it? Really need to break the cycle.

Let's not get to whiney here; it's a good result, and a weight loss always fills me with fresh motivation to push on and make it two good weeks in a row (been a while since I've had a god fortnight). It's so much harder to feel positive after a bad weigh in so let's hope that won't be something I have to worry about for a few weeks. With the running distance on the up I could do with a little less impact on the limbs, and a running style which is a little more ice-skater and a little less Frankenstein! There is still time to make a difference to my fortunes come marathon-time, I need to make the most of every minute.

37 days to go!!!

Life Affirming

It's 38 days to go, and the drive for sponsorship is slowly starting to hot up; you really get a feel for how big a number 1750 is when it's the number of pounds you have pledged to raise for charity.

It's like.....nearly two grand man!!

Whether I hit the target is anyone's guess, but one thing is for sure; if I don't reach it, it won't be for lack of trying; I'm going all out to raise as much as I can.

Various ideas have been brainstormed on the best way of pulling in the cash. Friends and family are coming through in fine style not only with their donations, but also by getting sponsorship of their own. They're doing brilliantly. There are also the few, frustrating, 'anonymous' donations. These people very kindly leave good luck messages on the sponsorship website, with one very important part missing!! Who are they I wonder?? Personally I think it's Mo Farah, finally admitting who the REAL athlete is (it's okay Mo; keep training, keep aspiring to my level.....)

It's not going to stop there though. I will be passing the proverbial hat around at work; then there is the 'other idea' I have, and even for me it is an ambitious one....it's time for the Adrian Blaydon finishing time sweepstakes!!

The plan is to roam the streets of Edenfield and Bury, posting leaflets to enter a draw at £2 a throw, all based on how long it takes me to finish. It's a slight change to the Great North, when all I was doing was posting leaflets asking for money; this time people can win something as well as doing so much good for charity. But the question was; what would they win??

It's not much of a secret that I have become a bit of a cynic when it comes to people. Whilst not tarring the entire population of the world with the same brush  - there are some good 'uns out there! - descriptives like 'selfish' and 'self-absorbed' do tend to come up a lot when describing the people of the world. So it was with much trepidation and little hope that over the last few weeks via phone and bare-faced-cheek-walk-in-and-ask, I executed my plan of petitioning the business in and around my village of Edenfield to donate the sweepstake prizes.

I could not have been more mistaken, as every single one showed they believed in the charity, in the challenge, in me, by offering something........just listen to these.....

2 x £10 vouchers from the local bakery
£20 voucher from the butchers
A 'cut and colour' (whatever that is) from the hairdressers
Meal for two in the chip-shop restaurant
£20 worth of prizes (probably booze) from Tescos
A haircut and hot towel shave from the gents barbers
Meal for two down the Coach and Horses

Okay, it's hardly five numbers and the bonus ball, but for me the mere act of asking the question of them has given me such hope. I went into it battling with my preconceptions and worrying that they may be validated, and I now leave it with my eyes opened, my heart a little lighter, and a belief that there are more good people out there than I gave the world credit for.

What I love about it, is that as all the leaflets are being delivered to people in the local community; the prizes are just as local. All I have to do now is get those leaflets printed and delivered. I never did like paper-rounds, but after coming this far I can't stint on the circulation can I? Time to get out there and sing my song.

By the way, if you are wondering - if I was able to enter - what prize I would choose, it's simple; a nice hot towel shave, followed by popping to the bakers to order my own body weigh in sausage rolls!!

Keep them crossed that this works, and raises lots!!

Subject Of The Month - Philosophies

39 days to go.....if I start now you think I might finish by April 21st??

It's a strange thing to admit, but if you have stuck with me through the thick and thin of this blog (a lot of thin, but possibly with the thinnest yet to come!), whether you know me personally or even if you are a total stranger, you are still a member of the group of people which know me the best; better even than many people years of my acquaintance (who don't tune in to this blog). What you've read on here is pretty much me in words; my character, my moods, my personality, and at times even my soul. If you've made it this far, I salute you; you are certainly made of stern stuff!

The story so far has been a scary ride; but you ain't seen nothing yet, as we are about to delve deeper into the psyche that is.....well.....me! Don't get me wrong, I don't spend every waking hour in deep thought (or every sleeping hour in deep dream for that matter), but it's impossible to reach your fortieth year without having one or fifteen deep-set opinions on life, the universe and everything (forty-twoooooo!!) and what's a blog for if not to share them with you lovely people? It's a calculated risk, as I think I can trust you........

......can't I???

So why am I doing this? Well, to be honest I am running out of things to write.....

....kidding......kidding.

Naaah, anyone who knows me - and if you are reading this, that does mean you! - also knows that words are not things I am short of. I'm not sure about talking the hind legs of a donkey, but I could talk for so long that they may fall off by natural decay (especially if it's a reeeeally old donkey........see I'm doing it now..... Anyway, back to the why. I guess, as this blog reaches its climax, I want to take this opportunity to say my piece in as complete a way as possible. A lot of me has found it's way onto this site already; but it's time to give you the rest!

So amongst other things, we are going to talk about (or I'm going to write about) life, love, death, and the pursuit of happiness. Stick around, you might learn something....even if it is that I am stark-staring bonkers (but surely you know that by now??)

Socks or Mittens??

So far I am being an exceptionally good boy, and with only a few days until weigh in
number 88 (two fat ladies, but one slightly less fat fella) optimism is high if I can keep on the straight and narrow (as opposed to wonky and fat) until the end of the week.

There was the big run on Sunday, no takeaways and no subway sandwiches this week (meaning no gooey cookies either....okay, I admit to not being able to resist the hotel room biccies though. The maid must know my weakness for Bourbon Creams!).

The only downside is that I have had a slight running wardrobe malfunction (you know what I mean, and no it's not racing down the street hot on the heels of a piece of furniture making a bid for freedom), so no running this week. It went kind of like this....

• was planning to run on Monday, realised I had no gloves packed and it was FREEEEZING outside, no run; but would get some gloves and run Tuesday
• Tesco's had NO gloves of any description - don't ask; the store was full of Bermuda shorts and sandals (not Bermuda) - so in my determination to run, I actually bought a three pack of mittens........okay they were thermal socks.....
• Getting myself ready to go our for a quick five-miler, what should I find in the bottom of my pack but a pair of gloves (happy days!!)......and no compression top.......(crap!).....

I regret to say that there is nothing I can buy from Tesco's that will prevent the dreaded joggers nipple, so that's put the kybosh on that until Friday night back up north.

Here's hoping that a two run week and some good eating will be sufficiently healthy to get a good result this Friday. Keep 'em crossed as usual!!  

40 days........!!

Teeny Tiny Tired One

Long drive this morning, long day today, tired boy tonight.

Running - no

Sleeping - yes

To thee and thine, a good night! Catch you tomorrow.                                           

41 days and counting..........

Thank You For The Music........The Best (Part 4)

Can't believe it!! I even had to check both my stopwatch AND the map to make sure I did actually fifteen miles. Not only did I; I ran it in a shorter time than I finished the thirteen miles of the Great North Run last September. So two miles more, and two minutes less. I honestly don't feel like I'm getting faster - the pace is a comfortable one - but maybe that's what being fitter is like; same exertion, better results. Not overthinking it though; for the rest of the day I am going to be basquing (there's an image....!) in the glory of a jog well done.

As part of my reward, it's time to finish off the top 100 list with the final twenty five...

Something About You (Level 42)
(My first live concert; Manchester Apollo with my best fwend at the time Matthew Findell.....felt like SUCH a grown up!)

Something Inside So Strong (Labi Siffre)
"The higher you build your barriers, the taller I become. The further you take my rights away, the faster I will run"

Somewhere Out There (Linda Lonstadt and James Ingram)
"Even though I know how very far apart we are, it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star"

Stay (Alison Krauss)
"Come and sit for a while; I've missed your smile"

Suo Gan (James Rainbird)
(Taken from 'Empire Of The Sun'; another one that could well be a shopping list, but it sounds good!)

Take On Me (A-ha)
(Loved as much for the video as for the song; plus it was the first release from the band, and what an impact!)

Telstar (The Tornados)
(Just a top song!)

That's The Way It Is (Celine Dion)
"When life is empty with no tomorrow, and loneliness starts to call. Baby, don't worry, forget your sorrow, cause love's gonna conquer it all"

The Beep Beep Song (Simone White)
"Beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat; goes my heart on the side of my sleeve"

The Windmills Of Your Mind (Noel Harrison)
"Like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel. Never ending or beginning, on an ever spinning reel"

Time In A Bottle (Jim Croce)
"If I had a box just for wishes, and dreams that have never come true. The box would be empty, except for the memory of how they were answered by you"

To Be Surprised (Sondre Lerche)
(Another one from 'Dan In Real Life'; SUCH a top movie!)

Tom's Diner (Suzanne Vega)...the original, not the remix!!
"I am thinking of your voice; and of the midnight picnic once upon a time before the rain began"

True Companion (Mark Cohn)
"Baby I've been searching like anybody else, can't say nothing different about myself. Sometimes I'm an angel and sometimes I'm cruel, but when it comes to you I'm just another fool"

Two Little Boys (Rolf Harris)......and it was all going to well......wasn't it??!
"Did you think I would leave you crying, when there's room on my horse for two. Climb up here, Jack and don't be crying; I can go just as fast with two."

Veronica (Elvis Costello)
"But she used to have a carefree mind of her own, with a devilish look in her eye. Saying "You can call me anything you like, but my name is Veronica""

Waiting For A Star To Fall (Boy Meets Girl)
"Trying to catch your heart, is like trying to catch a star. So many people love you baby, that must be what you are"
What Could Be Better (The Lighthouse Family)
"Somebody smiled at me like the sun"

What If I Loved You (Joey Gian)
"What if I held you tonight, and I made you feel oh so right? What if I loved you, would you always be mine?"

When You Say Nothing At All (Ronan Keating)
"All day long I can hear people talking out loud, but when you hold me near you drown out the crowd"

Where Do You Go To My Lovely (Peter Sarstedt)
"When the snow falls you're found in St Moritz, with the others from the jet set. Where you sip your Napoleon brandy, but you never get your lips wet; no you don't!"

Whoops Now (Janet Jackson)
(Just a very chirpy old song!)

Years From Now (Dr. Hook)
"I know this world that we live in can be hard now and then, and it will be again, many times we've been down. Still, love has kept us together; the flame never dies, when I look in your eyes, the future I see"

You'll Be In My Heart (Phil Collins)
"Why can't they understand the way we feel, they just don't trust what they can't explain"

You're Beautiful (James Blunt)
"My life is brilliant"

So that's it! Everything you wanted to know about my slightly questionable (slightly??!!) music collection, but were so afraid to ask, that you didn't ask....but I told you anyway. Looking back on it there is more than a slice or two of cheese (but may I say, high quality cheese) and several chucks of schmaltz.

Face?......bothered.....???!

42 days to go, and the penultimate subject of the month (half month in this case) to come. Can't wait canya?!!

Pre-run Nerves

Okay; it's been two weeks since the last big run, and the nerves are jangling even more than they usually do on the eve of a fifteen miler (and no, I will never get used to talking about, or succeeding in the completion of - hopefully - a distance like that). Does anyone know what happens to a long distance runner when they haven't done any long distance running for a while?....Anyone??..... Well, I guess I'm going to find out tomorrow.

Just plotted out the route on mappedometer (really good if you need to run to a distance), and now all I have to do is remember it. Sounds simple, but when the brain is obsessed with the singular thought of 'keep plodding on you great lump' I do have a slight tendency to get lost (note for future reference; if you ever see a jogger slowing down, turning pirouettes and looking down every side road, he or she no longer has a baldy clue where they are!); either that or I make a turn too early out of desperation to hasten the end (or avoid a hillish hell (??!)).

It's actually quite a nice route; the first five miles are predominantly downhill, by the end of which I am getting on towards the half way point, and although of course the LAST five miles are predominantly and often brutally uphill the knowledge of being so close to the finish provides that much needed boost to get me home. Though determination may well be coursing through my veins, the thoughts that go through my mind on that final stretch are anything but positive; variations on a theme of 'please stop running Adrian, it's really REEEEALLY hurting now. Pretty pretty pleeeeease!?'

Not stopped yet, but as it's been a fortnight I am particularly worried that I might have to do just that tomorrow. Nevertheless, I feel fit, I feel good; and I am as ready as I can be. Let's just take it steady and see how it goes eh? (lesson for life in general I'd say!)

43 days to go!!

Weigh in (87)

Damnitdamnitdamnitdamnit.

I refuse to cut and paste last week's post; short-cuts are not permitted here, I need to feel the pain of mini-failure (failette?). Yet again it's another pound on and now at 15 stone 10 pounds dead.

Arse.

Definitely suffering from the lack of a big run last Sunday; clearly what I am eating is just not healthy enough, and if I'm not pounding enough payment it's always going to be a bad week. So where did it go wrong?

Not blaming anyone (Clare; it's all your fault.......did I write that out loud?.....) but I went to see my sister for a 'treaty tea' of warm-up food from Marks and Sparks. It's probably a good job I didn't get to see the fat content of those dishes as I would probably have run screaming home in favour of a more healthy dish like......a deep-fried lump of lard...... In all honesty the fault is entirely mine (tell you something you don't know, right?). I've said before and I'll say it again, we are all in charge of what we chuck into our bodies, and if faced with something unhealthy we don't have to eat it. Sadly however, I did......a lot. May I say for the record it was blummin' lovely; but with less than seven weeks to go until my little jaunt round London time is running out to get the weight down.

So, the good news is that I will - I WILL I WILL - be running this Sunday, and all being well will be able to get a few runs in during the week too. If I can stay away form the treaty teas then maybe that will do the trick.

You may be detecting a slightly less than significant amount of concern in my voice; I can't deny it, as I still FEEL good. I wouldn't say I feel racing-snake thin, but I certainly don't feel like my weight is going up; even if it is. Maybe it's that muscle-weighs-more-than-fat thing, but I'm not clutching too hard to that particular straw. I just need to have a 'normal' (for me) week of good health, good exercise and good sleep; finishing with a good weigh in next Friday.

One thing if for sure, I don't think I can afford another wrong 'un. Come on Blaydon, don't quit now I'm so close.

......forty-fours.....droopy drawers.....

Thank You For The Music.......The Best (Part 3)

VERY pleased to tell you that I am still pretty fit and healthy; yay! Granted the bounce has gone out of my bungee a little after the drive home, but other than that my boo has never been to tickety. Here's hoping that I can stay healthy for the next 45 days and that the whole thing is a total breeze, a walk in the park, easy as falling off a log............

.....nope.....nor do I.....

SO, while we are waiting for the next blister, or pulled muscle, or sniffle; why don't we get on with the next instalment of the Blaydon top 100 songs.....

Life (Des'ree)
"I don't want to see a ghost, it's a sight I fear most; rather have a piece of toast, and watch the evening news"

Love Is The Seventh Wave (Sting)
"There is a deeper wave than this. Rising in the land, There is a deeper wave than this.
Nothing will withstand"

Lullabye (Billy Joel)
"Goodnight my angel time to close your eyes, and save these questions for another day. I think I know what you've been asking me, I think you know what I've been trying to say"

Make My Heart Fly (The Proclaimers)
"Please don't go, rushing by; stay, and make my heart fly"

Make You Feel My Love (Adele)
"When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case. I could offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love"

Memories (Beverley Craven)
"Evrything we're going through, will be our memories. I'm gonna make them worth remembering....for years"

Miss You Nights (Cliff Richard)
"I've had many times, I can tell you; times when innocence I'd trade for company"

More (Bobby Darin)
"More than the greatest love the world has known, this is the love that I give to you alone"

Nah! (Shania Twain)
"It was never gonna work, you were too much of a jerk; I'm finally fed up with this"

Nancy Spain (Christy Moore)
"Daylight peeping through the curtains of the passing night time, is your smile; and the sun in the sky is like your laugh"

New Song (Howard Jones)
"Don't crack up, bend your brain. See both sides, throw off your mental chains"

No Worries (Simon Webbe)
(It's just so positive!!)

On My Own (Katie Holmes)....yes, THE Katie Holmes
"Without him, the world around me changes. The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers"
 
One Hand, One Heart (Tony & Maria - West Side Story)
"Make of our lives, one life. Day after day, one life. Now it begins, now we start. One hand, one  heart"
Only Yesterday (The Carpenters)
"Tomorrow maybe even brighter than today, since I threw my sadness away"

Pounding (The Roches)
"If your heart, stops, poundingpoundingpounding gimme a call"

Prettiest Eyes (The Beautiful South)
"Well my eyes look like a map of the town, and my teeth are either yellow or they're brown. But you'll never hear the crack of a frown when you are near, you'll never hear the crack of a frown"

Right By Your Side (The Eurythmics)
"Give me to strong arms to protect myself. Give me so much love that I forget myself"

Romeo And Juliet (Dire Straits)
"You promised me everything; you promised me thick and thin yeah. Now you just say 'oh Romeo, yeah; you know I used to have a scene with him"

Ruby Tuesday (The Rolling Stones)
"She would never say where she came from. Yesterday don't matter, now it's gone"

Rule The World (Take That)
"You light the skies up above me, a star so bright you blind me"

Shades Of Grey (The Monkees)
"When the world and I were young, just yesterday. Life was such a simple game a child could play"

Silly Love Songs (Paul Mcartney And Wings)
"You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs. But I look around me and I see it isn't so. Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs. And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know, cause here I go again"

Softly Whispering I Love You (Paul Young)
"I can feel your warm face, ever close to my lips. And the scent of you invades the cool evenin' air. I can close my eyes and you're there"
Solace (Marvin Hamlisch/Scott Joplin)
(Extraordinary)

......the fourth and final part, the climax, the piece de resistance, the coup de grace, the........last twenty five songs in the list alphabetically....coming soon!!

Miraculous!!!

....46 days to go......

I feel like such a drama queen now. Hard though it is to believe considering the state I was in last night, I have actually just got in from a 4 mile run! Yes; that's four miles.

So how did that happen? Who cares?!! Happened it did and I am happy bunny because of it. Woke up this morning with a clear ear and a clear nose, and some nasty looking gunk under my now unswollen eye. By the time I was showered and shaved I was looking surprisingly fit and healthy; not only that, I was FEELING surprisingly fit and healthy.

It was so nice to get back out on the road again. Not only did it allay last nights concerns over lack of exercise - keeping my body used to the shuddering pain and joy (??!) of long distance running - it also gave me my fix. Yes, even harder to believe than the miraculous recovery is that I am now hooked on running. Mentally I am still as nervous as I ever was when I don 'the shoes' - and part of me still hates it - but physically the sensation is very different. My body seems to relax into the rhythm, and literally take each session in its stride. Contrast that with the physical reaction to NOT running for say, three days running, and that is cause enough to get out there.

Can you believe that when this challenge started I would struggle to run one lap of a running track; and now I talk about four miles like it's shelling peas?!! I'm not sure I can.....it's almost like I'm......like......athletic. But don't worry; I still don't look it.

Here's hoping that tomorrow's post does not regale you of my relapse into gammy eye, nose, ear.......pick a body part.......   

AAAAAAAGHH!

You may have suspicions that all is not well; intuitive little know-it-all aren't you?!

What is going on? Blocked nose is back, deaf ear is back, and to complete the hat-trick I now have a swollen eye!! I have a bad feeling I am quite simply cracking up. Annoying, yes; frustrating, definitely; and once again, exercise sessions are in serious doubt this week.

Wish I had a clue what has caused this relapse (plus dicky eye). Physically I feel a little tired (although that might not be down to....whatever it is I've got....just due to the busyness of life), but other than that I don't feel that poorly; plus the Compeed plasters are working wonders (blister?......what blister??!!). I don't want to put questionable fitness to the test by going out for a run though. Damn it; hotel bound once again.

Trying to stay calm, and not fall into the vicious mental circle of poorly = no exercise = no long runs = how the blumminell am I going to run 26 miles???!

Still, the night has not been a complete loss. I wasn't as hotel-bound as I might have made out as Stockport County were playing tonight, and as luck would have it (bad luck that is!) they were up against Dartford, whose ground is not too far away from Stevenage. It's been with a strange, not wholly unpleasant feeling of isolation that I have been spending my working week in Hertfordshire (the definitive clean slate in many ways). From Monday morning to Thursday night, I mentally separate myself from 'normal life' in favour of this alternate reality in the South East. It therefore feels rather weird - not to mention rather good - when slap bang in the middle of this otherworld I see something so familiar as the football team I have been supporting for so many  years, not to mention the brother I have known for....well.......ALL my years!

But don't worry, the eeriness was soon restored after the final whistle....as we didn't lose......! That was quite possible the freakiest thing of all!!

I won't beat about the Shepherd's Bush, these are tricky times in the challenge; I don't seem to be - if you'll pardon the pun - getting a good run at it at the moment. Maybe this is the final test in my resolve to make it to the finish, or maybe - heaven help me - this is only the first in a looooong line of tests before the big day. Whichever one it is (pleasepleasepleeeeeeease the first one), I'm equal to it.

Them's fightin' wurrrrrds!!           

47 days and still counting.......someone please make it stop....!!      

Thank You For The Music.......The Best (part 2)

Aaaaaaah, wonderful wonderful Compeed! All the forums said it's brilliant at soothing sore blisters, that it's a 'second skin' and they are so right! I think the chances of running this Sunday are starting to look better baby; not counting the Easter chicks yet, but you know what they say.....where there's Compeed, there's hope!

The usual today; long morning commute to work, long day at work, and now lying in bed feeling a little frazzled (still not brave enough to try a run yet) so a perfect time to take you from 26 to 50 in the top 100 best of the rest.....

Free Nelson Mandela (Special AKA)
(First track I played on my first stereo system; 18 year birthday present. 21 years on and I still have the same amp and speakers!)

Ghostbusters (Ray Parker Jnr)
(First vinyl single I ever bought (29 years on and I still have.....terrible taste in music); the number of times I wiped that thing with a static cloth....I swear all it did was sweep all the dust into a perfect line on the record rather than removing it!!)

Golden Brown (The Stranglers)
(Can't beat a bit of harpsichord intro!!)

Hallelujah (Rufus Wainwright)
"It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth. The minor fall, the major lift. The baffled king composing, Hallelujah"

Hands (Jewel)
"If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be that we're all ok"

I Just Haven't Met You Yet (Michael Buble)
"I might have to wait, I'll never give up. I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck"

Human (Human League)
"The tears I cry, aren't tears of pain. They're only to hide my guilt and shame. I forgive you, now I ask the same of you. While we were apart, I was human too"

Hungry Eyes (Eric Carmen)
(No decent, self-respecting Dirty Dancing fan can argue with this one!)

I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow (Dan Tyminski)
(George Clooney singing this in 'Oh Brother, Where Art Thou'; what's not to like??!)

I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You (Juliet Turner & Brian Kennedy)
"I turn around and look at you, and you light a cigarette. I wish I had the guts to bum one; but, we've never met" (price for guessing what happens at the end of the song....!)

I Wanna Grow Old With You (Adam Sandler)....I know....I know.....
"I'll miss you, kiss you; give you my coat when you are cold. Need you, feed you; even let you hold the remote control"

If I Was (Midge Ure)
"If I was a poet; all my love in burning words I would show it" (love that rhyme!)

If Only I Could..... (Sidney Youngblood)
".....I'd make this world a better place"

If You're Not The One (Daniel Beddingplants)
"If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today. If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way"

I'm Already There (Lonestar)
"A little voice came on the phone. And said "Daddy when you coming home." He said the first thing that came to his mind. I'm already there"

I'm Not In Love (10cc)
"I keep your picture up on the wall, it hides a nasty stain just lying there. But don't you ask me to give it back, I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me"

It's Five O'clock Somewhere (Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffett)
"I'm getting paid by the hour, and older by the minute. My boss just pushed me over the limit. I'd like to call him something; I guess I'll just call it a day"

Jai Ho! (A R Rahman/The Pussycat Dolls)
(it just spews energy)

James Bond Theme Tune (Monty Norman)
(the name's Blaydon.......Adrian Blaydon......now give me a cup of tea - white, no sugar - stirred; not shaken)

Jumping Mouse (Ashley Maher)
"Learn by looking behind you, but burn the bridges that bind you"

Kiss Kiss (Holly Valance)
(You know the phrase 'dance like there's no one watching'? Well this is what I dance to in my front room......and God do I hope no one gets an eyeful of that!)

King For A Day (The Thompson Twins)
"If I was king for just one day. I would give it all away. I would give it all away for loving you"

Lean On Me (Club Nouveau)
"Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain; we all have sorrow. But, if we are wise, we know that there's; always tomorrow"

Leave Right Now (Will Young)
"My racing heart, is just the same. Why make it strong to break it once again"

Let My Love Open The Door (Peter Townshend)
"When everything feels all over. Everybody seems unkind. I'll give you a four leaf clover. Take all worry out of your mind" (It's also in a great film - not one of the top five, but still good - called Dan In Real Life)

Fifty down, fifty to go.......more to come.......by the way, is it only me that has noticed these songs have more than a teaspoonful of cheese mixed in with them (you should see the ones I haven't included; I say 'see' as you REALLY don't want to hear them). In my defence, many of the more 'grrrrrrrrrr' ones have already been mentioned.......like.. ......errrr.......ummmmmm........Gina G????

Soooooooo beyond hope.....I passed hope a long time ago and have gone so far past it is no longer so much as a dot on the horizon......oh well....!

And as for the marathon - or in my case, marathin (why did it take me so long to jump on that one? I must be slipping!) - it's 48 to go! Think I'd better start now?.......

Baaaaaaaaaaa!

How very-weirdy-weird-spooky-strange does it feel to have a Sunday and NOT be going out for a run!! I am content that this is the right decision (resting the leg, and actually giving my body the chance for some respite) but my body is a bit jittery; it's like my brain has changed the routine and forgot to let the rest of my body know!    

Still; despite the lack of the scheduled fifteen-miler, it has nevertheless been a productive day. It was a quick trip into Manchester to visit 'Upandrunning'; a rather cool sports shop aimed primarily at joggers. The mission was to seek advice on what caused the blistering and calf injury, and further advice on how to avoid it happening again.

I am not afraid to admit that it was with more than a little sense of pride when I walked into the store feeling like I really 'belonged'. A proper runner in a running shop. Yes, I may even have swaggered a little; sorry, couldn't help myself!

Well, sorry - and sheepish - I certainly was when I told the tale of what I am trying to do, and that I am currently out of action with a banjaxed calf and blistered foot. He confirmed that the former was as a result of the latter, and then instantly asked how old my running shoes were........hmmmmm........and there the 'proper running' bubble burst. Don't pretend I haven't told you, it was a fourteen mile run on a brand, spanking, NEW pair.

He didn't look at me, just stared into the distance with a smug smile on his face that I would have loved to slap off if he hadn't been so right, and I hadn't been such a numtee! I'm sure I wasn't the first to make the mistake, and just as sure I won't be the last. For me however, the repercussions make it like running out of petrol; one of those things you only do once!

He was brilliant though; lots of good advice, and I left with some Compeed blister plasters (say that really fast five times) and three pairs of 'twin layer' socks (rather than sock rubbing on skin, inside sock runs on outside sock, simples!! they are padded in the right places too, which make them the first pair of socks I have ever owned that have an 'L' and an 'R' on them!

Here's hoping that they do the track and get me back on trick. On a positive note, I didn't realise that I had incorporated a resting Sunday scheduled for 10th March. By swapping the two weekends what originally felt like a major setback in training won't be so much as a blip. Unless I am mighty unlucky I should be ready to rock in a week!

Seven weeks, 49 days.......not going to give you the hours, it's scary enough already!!