Perfect Moments - ARKs

Like most people, I have a couple of tear-off day calendars dotted around the house (well, two of them; so two dots). One is a movie 'question a day' type of thing, the other is a Thomas Kinkade iddy biddy one which is stuck on the fridge. For those of you who don't know, Kinkade is an artist who draws scenery in brilliant colours. Whether they are based on real-life scenery it is hard to tell, but his use of colour makes them look slightly fantasy-ish. But I digest......
The Kinkade calendar also contains those twee little mottoes like 'woe are they that forever look for the light at the end of the tunnel; happy is the one who finds the matches in their pocket' (okay, I made that one up; but you get the idea) and other words of pretentious 'wisdom' to make you wretch. However one popped up last week which struck a chord with me: 'Acts of random kindness are both contagious, and habit forming.' I cannot comment on the former, but the latter is definitely true; I love doing good things when the opportunity presents itself. They are little moments of goodness; of perfection. What follows are some examples of my most memorable ARKs......

Before we start, I have to confess that I deliberated long and hard as to whether I should share these with you. My belief has always been to 'do good and disappear'; a good act is it's own reward and it should not be necessary to hang around for thanks, or boast about it to people. In so doing, I believe some of the magic in the act itself is lost somehow. I am arguably contravening that rule now. But what the hell; these are nice, positive things which meant a lot to me and exhibit a big part of who I am. I don't spend my days shouting these stories from the rooftops (to be honest, they may be big things to me, but not in the grand scheme of things). I'm just sharing it with you, few, lovely people!

Clare At The Opticians
In short, I have my brother Paul to blame for all my ARKs; as this was the first. He introduced me to the joy that can be experienced by someone, giving unexpected joy to someone else. Clare was an optician at Boots who fitted me with my first fashionable-ish pair of glasses (previous specs were of the 'horn-rimmed' variety, which at primary school were tantamount to yelling 'I AM A DWEEB!!!' at the top of my voice). I was 8 years old, and a bit scared of the eye test (darkened room, funny half specs with lenses being slotted in, letters, green and red lights); but she was lovely. To make a nervous young man feel at ease in that environment was no small feat. When picking up the glasses - as when I had the eye test - Paul came with me, and on leaving he suggested we pop into the newsagent next door and buy her a box of chocolates to give to her as a thank you,. I honestly couldn't understand why. We had the glasses, we had paid for them; why do we need to do this? When I walked up to her and held out the box of Roses, it just felt embarrassing; but then her reaction - the surprise, the smile - made me realise that a simple and inexpensive gesture of kindness can have a big effect, on both giver and receiver.

No Cash!
Not long before Christmas a few years ago I was in the till queue at Tescos (don't get me started about supermarkets!) behind a young lady who seemed to be doing food shopping for a small town. When the till pinged up the grand total, her eyes flicked between the bundle of notes in her hand, and the BIG figure on the digital screen.....all was clearly not well. I tried to avert my eyes when said lady admitted that she didn't have enough cash to cover all the groceries, and was short about a fiver. Reluctantly she handed back a rather posh looking bottle of Cava (ooooooh, bubbles!), the absence of which brought the amount within what she could pay. I paid for my measly few items (don't remember exactly what, but as it was Christmas I am guessing chocolate biscuits and Harveys Bristol Cream!), and in a fit of Christmas cheer, asked the till lady to scan the Cava into my shopping. Catching up and overtaking her on her return to her car, I plopped the bottle of Cava into her trolley, and with a wink and a smile said 'Merry Christmas!' and was gone. To say I took her off guard would be something of an understatement; and I was a good twenty yards away when I heard a surprised, strangled and rather emotional 'thank you!' coming from behind me.

Teddy Bear
Sadly it looks like good old British Home Stores is on the decline these days; heavily hit by the economic downturn, but back in the day it was one of the 'go-to' stores at Christmas time for us. On one such 'go-to's I was buying a couple of boxes of crackers (the 'snap', silly-hat, fortune-telling fish, terrible joke, why do we love them so much?..kind). By happy and may I say outstandingly lucky coincidence (?!), BHS had an offer on that very day (what are the chances of that eh?!) - if you spend over a certain amount of money - to buy a rather large and cute looking teddy bear for £5. Initially I turned it down, but then had a thought (it does happen occasionally). The assistant gave me a rather quizzical look when I asked her 'do you believe in random acts of kindness?' It is a look I am very used to, indicating that she had not the slightest idea what I was talking about. She answered 'errrrrrr.........yyyes'. I then gave her five quid and asked her to pick a kid in the till queue behind me, give him/her a bear and say it's from Santa Claus. The same assistant then gave me the other look which I am very used to seeing; the look which wonders which planet I just flew in from. What happened next I have no idea; I just left, but I like to think that I had a hand in making a little boy or girls (and parents) day. and somewhere on a shelf that bear might still be sat as a testament to a good deed.

Where's my money.......????
This is more like an ANORAK than an ARK (A Not Overly Random Act of Kindness; look, it was too close to anorak not to use it!!), but it was still an opportunity to do some good. I was meeting a friend for breakfast at a local Tescos (I am starting to think that much of my life revolves around supermarkets!!) and on approaching the entrance, a rather attractive looking woman in stunning African garb walked past me chattering on her mobile phone. She didn't register with me particularly strongly until I went to ask/beg the cashpoint if it could fund my brekkie. As I got closer, I could hear that beeping noise which you hear when the money gets spat out. I can now confirm that the beeping continues until the money is removed, as, sticking out of the machine like a very expensive tongue, was a wad of notes so thick I daren't even think as to the value, but it was a LOT. I confess, that a teeny, tiny whiney voice in my head was telling me to just take the money and run; but fortunately this was drowned out by the Brian Blessed-type YELL instructing me to find the person to whom the money belonged. I put two and two together - woman on her mobile phone, distracted by the conversation, forgetting to take her cash - and ran after the woman I had just passed. By the time I reached her, she was in her car; and she had quite a start when I tapped on her window. I signalled her to wind the window down, and within a second, it dawned on her. Her eyes went from me, to her empty purse, and back to me again with a scream of 'my money!!!!' which I then waved in front of the window with a smile. As I handed the money over, I heard that familiar, strangled, surprised 'thank you!' (she seemed amazed I hadn't walked away and pocketed the cash). Amazingly enough, about six months before this, I was on the wrong end of that little scenario, when in a fit of absent mindedness I waltzed off (there's an image) without taking my cash. Never saw it again. It felt good to show how it should be done.

Understandably there will be cynics out there who question my motives; saying that I only do these things to make myself feel good, or Psychologists will probably go into one about a lack of self-confidence resulting in a need to feel needed. They are most welcome to their opinion. As far as I am concerned, a good deed is just that; good, and it is good to do good things (have you finished saying 'good' now Adrian?.......yes?!!.......good!). Maybe that goodness even gets paid forward when the goodee becomes the goodoo (I like to think it might). In the end, it is perfectly simple.

Right, I'm off to polish my halo before getting off to bed.......!!