You may have noticed a distinct lack of posting on the theme of perfect moments lately. This is in no way due to the lack of subject matter, it's because I have found that the latest chapter is a very hard one to write. I've had a go on numerous occasions (part of one such attempt was published in error!), but none of them seemed to capture the what and why; which is kind of the whole point!
I am not a schizophrenic (am I Adrian...?.....no you are certainly not Adrian......!), however I find myself often living in different worlds; worlds where I am different things to different people, which kind of makes me a different person too. Two such worlds follow......
Family world
This is a world with friends, but a world that I have been given as opposed to one made for myself. It's a 'some achieve friends, and some have friends thrust upon them' type of thing, with this being the latter. Don't think for a second that I am not grateful for the family I have, I certainly am. However it is an interesting - and at times unsettling - dynamic which essentially takes the choice out of friendship. No one in the family has done anything so horrible; but if such a thing did happen, the family bonds are so strong they would be impossible to break even then.
The world of family also has more than a little role play within it. I am a successful individual, I work full time and am well respected in that environment; and yet, when the family are together, I still at times find myself slotting into that little brother role (I am the youngest in a family of six children, with nine years between me and the 'next one up'). I stress it is not everyone who makes me feel that way (and sometimes it is my own doing rather than anyone else's), and it happens so much less than it used to. Nevertheless, moments do crop up when I feel like I have regressed thirty years. Family world. It is a world of love. It is also a world of tradition, where being 100% free is not an option.
Personal World
This is the life, and these are the friends I have made for myself. This world is populated by my achievements; whether they be getting a new job, running 5km without stopping (oh please, pleeease!!), running a half marathon (oh god, GOD!), running a marathon (oh ****, ****!!) or remaining close friends with someone for twenty years. Once - hopefully - the marriage or relationship thing comes up, then this is the world it will inhabit. It is the world in which I live most of my life, it is the place I am most comfortable in, it is the place where people see me - most of the time - the way I want to be seen, and it is the place where the me I really am resides.
Whilst I am proud of both worlds - for their own reasons they are both special - I do find it a shame that there is very rarely any overlap between them. For example it would be interesting for my family to see the 'personal world' Adrian a bit more; that way they can learn about the person I am (rather than the person I am believed to be). Just occasionally though, it happens; and occasionally on those occasions, a little bit of magic happens. Huge apologies here, as here comes another football-related story.....
In case you didn't already know - where have you BEEN the last seven months? - I am a long-suffering fan of Stockport County Football Club; come to think of it, this could be classed as another world in itself (so make that three Schizo personalities Sigmund). It is a relationship that has now been going on for over thirty years; thick and thin (mainly thin!). For a lower division side like County, success of any sort was a rarity; but in the early 1990's we had a blummin' good team. So good that we ended up playing at Wembley four times in the space of three years; for a team like ours, this was extraordinary.....almost as extraordinary as it was to be on the losing side in all four matches! I went to them all, but despite the results it did not detract from the experience. It was fourteen looooooong years before Wembley beckoned again.
Now it is necessary at this juncture to introduce you in a bit more - but don't worry my dear, not too much - detail to the person mysteriously named 'Wee-ali'. This year marks our twentieth anniversary of friendship; she is my best friend. It is a friendship which I prize as one of the greatest achievements of my life to date (she may be superseded by the invention of cold fusion, sorry love). I don't think she would mind me saying that football is not something she would choose as her Mastermind specialised subject. She is, however, lovely; and deserves a medal for being stuck in a friendship with me for a score of years (not sure who I feel sorrier for!).
2008 was the year when Stockport County made their long-awaited return to Wembley - the new Wembley this time - in the play-off final for promotion to division one (which is actually division three.....don't ask.....!). Ali didn't live too far away from the stadium, however when I asked whether she was interested in coming along to the match (and shelling out about fifty quid for the ticket) I was thinking that she was thinking 'yeah right, I would rather stick pins in my eyes!!' Imagine my surprise when she said that she would love to come.
So here we have the clash of three worlds; the family world (brother, brothers partner, sister), the personal world (best friend), and the far lonelier world of the Stockport County fan. It was a lovely feeling to just 'be' on that day, the day that all these individual worlds became one. I was proud to show off my best friend to my family, and to show off not only my family, but my town to my best friend (Stockport pretty much emptied that day, all ending up in the Wembley terraces). All of them, parts of why I am who I am.
None of these worlds disappointed; they were at their best, and as a result they brought the best out in me. I don't think I can be arrested - at least not now - for admitting that we took an empty bottle of lemonade (which makes it just a bottle, I know) and filled it with white wine to sneak into the stadium. As we raised our glasses in a toast to the game ahead, it really didn't matter what the result was, it was just perfect.
It would have been an even better story if we had won the game.......... but I'm afraid I have to report that at the fifth time of asking, Stockport County finally won a match at Wembley. From 1-0 down we went 3-1 up and sneaked home 3-2 winners. A truly epic victory. As we stood near the pitch in celebration I took a panoramic video recording on my camera. It went.......my team........my town.......my best friend.......my family. All of us so happy. I'm telling you, life just doesn't get much better than that.
(finally got this written, I'm going for a lie down now....!)
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