It is with a heavy heart, as well as regretfully with a much heavier body that I bring myself to write this post; but them's the rules of blogclub - besides of course 'YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT BLOGCLUB' - that I have to be honest and give the rough with the smooth. Care to have a punt on which of these you're getting today boys and girls?!! It is a whopping FOUR pounds on, weighing me in at 15 stone 7.8 pounds (oh go on, let me round down just this once??.......worth a try; 15 stone 8 it is then).
Pause for gasp.......
I guess the positive thing (possibly the only positive thing!) is that once again it is not a surprise. I've been full of a cold all week and just can't seem to get it shifted. There have been no trips to the gym. I did try one evening, hoping to put into action the 'sweat it out of your system' principle; unfortunately I succeeded in the slightly less celebrated adage of 'sweating it even further in to your system'.
In addition to the sniffles I don't think I am over-dramatising things when I say that this has been the most unsettled week since way before Fatmantofitman was so much as a glint in its fathers eye. There was the regular stress which comes from being in a sales-related profession (targets to achieve, walls to beat your head against etc), but to compound things I have been presented with one of the biggest and toughest life-choices I have ever had. To protect the innocent (and some guilty too) I can't go into too much detail, but suffice it to say I stand at a major crossroads in the life of Adrian Blaydon (good job I haven't taken a wrong turn and ended up at someone else's junction....look right, look left, look right again.....yep....it's definitely mine). In one direction I have a road of comfort and familiarity which is very likely to lead to frustration and boredom in the not to distant distance; in the other I have a largely unknown road of upheaval and fear (not forgetting of course, hope), which may very likely lead to achievement, happiness, success and all round good stuff. Sounds like a no-brainer, but to consciously forsake comfort and choose the more difficult path that lies ahead - and risk it ultimately not turning into achievement, happiness, success and good stuff - is both an exciting and terrifying prospect.
At the risk of repeating repeating myself myself, it comes down to an all too regular occurring question....'Do I dare?' Am I prepared to make my life intentionally less comfortable in the short term for the successes it could bring, or do I not bother out of fear of failure, settling for the lot in life I currently have? I think I know my answer, but I am almost too scared to give it. Procrastination man.....that's me.
Although 'unsettled' in this case is not an entirely bad thing it - along with the cold - has taken away all my focus, and I have slipped into the old naughty ways again. Naughty way; they are always lurking; looking for their opportunity to take hold again. Maybe not completely fast-food dominant, but a Chinese takeaway earlier in the week and a trip to Macdonalds on Monday night (large Big Mac Meal, large McChicken sandwich meal......yes.....all eaten by me) are hardly contributory factors to a healthy balanced diet are they? Not good is not an exaggeration. Previously I have eaten badly while still going to the gym and got away with it, and on occasion I have missed the gym while still eating well and dodged a bullet; now we know (as if we didn't already) what happens when exercise and diet go to pot.
So what now? Is the challenge in jeopardy?
NO!! I REFUSE TO LET IT GET THE BEST OF ME
There will be a degree of damage limitation required over the next week; and possibly the week after. I can't see myself making it to the gym for at least another week. It's a worry but the damage I could do by getting back on track too early doesn't bear thinking about. I need to eat well; being a bit poorly and losing my ability to exercise does not give me an excuse to give up on my diet aswell (that was kind of how I felt this week). I of course need to make a decision with regards to the above crossroads, but most of all I need to find some peace. My brain is awash with all thoughts of sorts (??!) and I need to find a way to quiet it. I'm not totally sure what I am going to do to achieve that, but I suspect it will involve a very hot bath (topped up regularly by careful big-toe dexterity) and a Kindle which contains that bird with the dragon tattoo.
Don't worry, I am far from beaten........
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Thank You For The Music - Hypothetical Conversations
What follows is what I oh so wish to be a true conversation between Toto band members - and songwriters - David Paich and Joseph Williams, during the course of creating the hit song 'Africa'. To save having to repeat the names, assume that lines alternate between them......
'Right then; that's the chorus sorted out' (DP)
'Oh go on Dave, pleeeeeeeeease?' (JW)
'Not a chance Jo, there is no way on earth I'm letting you do it; you'll sing it the way it's written'
'You're no fun Dave. Honestly, no one will ever know; and it will be such a laugh'
'No. For the last time Jo; I am not allowing you to sing 'I've left my brains down in Africa', no matter how much you beg me'
'I tell you what Dave. I'll only do it once during the song; and will change when I do it each time so no one will suspect. I'll even fudge, so it sounds a bit like 'I bless the rains down in Africa'; no one will be quite sure exactly what they are hearing. It'll be our secret. Oh go on Dave; live a little!'
(David pauses to rub his chin thoughtfully.......................)
'Alright Jo; I'll do you a deal......I will allow you to slip that line in once during recording - don't tell me when, I don't want to know - if and only if you accept and succeed in my challenge'
'Deal!!!'
'Don't be too sure; you don't know what it is yet....'
'Oh don't be daft David, there's nothing you can challenge me with that I can't manage without so much as a click of the fingers'
'We'll see about that. Okay then. Well we've done the chorus, and I'm going off to the pub and leave you to sort out the verses'
'That's the challenge?!!!'
'Oooooooh no. The challenge is that you have to seamlessly incorporate a line of my choosing somewhere within the lyrics. You have to make it sound like part of the song - to my satisfaction - and not a line that you have just stuck into the song to win a challenge that allows you to to sing 'I've left my brains down in Africa' during the chorus. Then and only then will I agree that you have won the challenge and allow you 'I've left my brains down in Africa' during the chorus'
'Not a problem; what's the line'
'Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti'
(Long, unblinking stare from Jo to Dave..................)
'You're kidding, right?'
'Nope!'
'Oh do me a favour Dave. How the stuffing hell am I going to get that line into a verse; you're 'avin a larf' (suddenly Jo turns into a cockney, apples and pears, chim chim chereeeee, corrrr bloimey Meeery Poppins...)
'Well, you want to leave your brains in Africa; so you get a rising Kilimanjaro. Of course if you don't accept the challenge.....'
'I didn't say that. Leave it with me, I accept and what's more I will beat your challenge. Have no doubts about that my friend.'
(Three long months go by - okay, months are a clearly defined time span; thank you Professor Hawking - Jo locked in his office; only emerging - crazy eyed and unshaven - to take on meagre rations of food and water. Finally.....the door is flung open and a scrawled-on piece of tear, blood and heaven knows whatstained A4 paper is thrust into Davids hand....a slightly hysterical giggle escaping Jo's lips)
'I don't believe it Jo; you've actually done it. This could become one of the most memorable song lyrics in history; leaving your brains splattered all over Africa seems a small price to pay for such genius (although looking at you, I think you'd better go looking for your marbles aswell as your brain, as they have also clearly departed for another continent). We keep this whole thing between ourselves right?'
(an exhausted Jo, glazed eyes, twitching cheeks, rocking back and forth (him, not the cheeks), gurgling quietly to himself amidst the odd burst of unhinged giggling, gives a barely discernible nod. We leave this scene as Jo reaches a trembling hand for the phone and dials the number for The P.C.D.S......Priory Centre for Deranged Songwriters).
I slightly kinda sort of suspect the potential existence of the fact that there may be limited reality to this story; but at the very least they must have felt pretty chuffed with themselves on coming up with that line. The most perfect combination of rhythm, song and syllables I have ever heard!
'Right then; that's the chorus sorted out' (DP)
'Oh go on Dave, pleeeeeeeeease?' (JW)
'Not a chance Jo, there is no way on earth I'm letting you do it; you'll sing it the way it's written'
'You're no fun Dave. Honestly, no one will ever know; and it will be such a laugh'
'No. For the last time Jo; I am not allowing you to sing 'I've left my brains down in Africa', no matter how much you beg me'
'I tell you what Dave. I'll only do it once during the song; and will change when I do it each time so no one will suspect. I'll even fudge, so it sounds a bit like 'I bless the rains down in Africa'; no one will be quite sure exactly what they are hearing. It'll be our secret. Oh go on Dave; live a little!'
(David pauses to rub his chin thoughtfully.......................)
'Alright Jo; I'll do you a deal......I will allow you to slip that line in once during recording - don't tell me when, I don't want to know - if and only if you accept and succeed in my challenge'
'Deal!!!'
'Don't be too sure; you don't know what it is yet....'
'Oh don't be daft David, there's nothing you can challenge me with that I can't manage without so much as a click of the fingers'
'We'll see about that. Okay then. Well we've done the chorus, and I'm going off to the pub and leave you to sort out the verses'
'That's the challenge?!!!'
'Oooooooh no. The challenge is that you have to seamlessly incorporate a line of my choosing somewhere within the lyrics. You have to make it sound like part of the song - to my satisfaction - and not a line that you have just stuck into the song to win a challenge that allows you to to sing 'I've left my brains down in Africa' during the chorus. Then and only then will I agree that you have won the challenge and allow you 'I've left my brains down in Africa' during the chorus'
'Not a problem; what's the line'
'Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti'
(Long, unblinking stare from Jo to Dave..................)
'You're kidding, right?'
'Nope!'
'Oh do me a favour Dave. How the stuffing hell am I going to get that line into a verse; you're 'avin a larf' (suddenly Jo turns into a cockney, apples and pears, chim chim chereeeee, corrrr bloimey Meeery Poppins...)
'Well, you want to leave your brains in Africa; so you get a rising Kilimanjaro. Of course if you don't accept the challenge.....'
'I didn't say that. Leave it with me, I accept and what's more I will beat your challenge. Have no doubts about that my friend.'
(Three long months go by - okay, months are a clearly defined time span; thank you Professor Hawking - Jo locked in his office; only emerging - crazy eyed and unshaven - to take on meagre rations of food and water. Finally.....the door is flung open and a scrawled-on piece of tear, blood and heaven knows whatstained A4 paper is thrust into Davids hand....a slightly hysterical giggle escaping Jo's lips)
'I don't believe it Jo; you've actually done it. This could become one of the most memorable song lyrics in history; leaving your brains splattered all over Africa seems a small price to pay for such genius (although looking at you, I think you'd better go looking for your marbles aswell as your brain, as they have also clearly departed for another continent). We keep this whole thing between ourselves right?'
(an exhausted Jo, glazed eyes, twitching cheeks, rocking back and forth (him, not the cheeks), gurgling quietly to himself amidst the odd burst of unhinged giggling, gives a barely discernible nod. We leave this scene as Jo reaches a trembling hand for the phone and dials the number for The P.C.D.S......Priory Centre for Deranged Songwriters).
I slightly kinda sort of suspect the potential existence of the fact that there may be limited reality to this story; but at the very least they must have felt pretty chuffed with themselves on coming up with that line. The most perfect combination of rhythm, song and syllables I have ever heard!
Friday, 26 October 2012
Weigh in (69)
Now be honest guys; own up. It's a really nice thing to do, but could whoever keeps sneaking into my house during the week and nobbling my scales please stop doing it?! I have no idea how you are managing it; have you installed a microchip which connects directly to your computer so you can override the read-out? If so am I going to see '24 stone 12 pounds' after you've had a particularly bad week at work and have an uncontrollable desire to Schadenfreude my arse off?! If you stop now I won't come after you....if you don't.....well.....I will not be held responsible.....that's all I'm saying.....
Just kidding......(or am I?)......
More head-scratching, and another weigh-in the millisecond before which I was thinking 'prepare yourself; this time you have definitely put on weight', I almost sound disappointed to reveal that it's another pound off! Actual loss is 15st 5.4lb to 15st 4.2lb. To all of you who want the cut, thrust and drama of a periodic weight gain I am so sorry to disappoint; this is getting a bit monotonous isn't it?!! I make no apologies, this is the sort of monotony I would happily perpetuate.
With the exception of one night, I guess I was by and large a good boy; but on that one night I was very, very, very bad.
The company I work for were taken out by one of our suppliers for a 'bit of a do' as thank you (thank us) for the work we had put their way. There was a ghost walk, there was curry, there was peshwari nan (mmmmmm, peshwari naaaaaaan....gurgle gurgle) and by heavens was there alcohol. I went into the evening thinking 'right, a couple of lagers, a nice poppadom, curry, nightcap, bed before midnight', but it ended up being 'a couple of bitters, walk to another pub, another bitter, walk to another pub, another bitter, walk to indian restaurant, lager, glass of champagne, poppadom, curry, naaaaaan, nightclub, beer, boogying along to 80's classics, beer, cocktails which tasted like Ribena and Tango, walk back to the hotel, glass of wine, in bed gone 4am'. It has been a long time since my stop-out has ever been that dirty!
I really don't know what got into me. The whole concept of 'going clubbing' was lost on me when it became legal to do so (sneaking into Coco Savannah's - Stockports finest club, don't ask - underage was so exciting....and so easy!), but as it turned out I was very much up for it last Friday. I think it was partly the fact that the club we were in seemed to have inside information on the music which has a habit of making me get jiggy with it around my kitchen (B'witched, Tiffany, Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran, Manic Street Preachers.......okay I lied about that last one, just felt the urge to put something a bit cooler into the list.....hello, my name is Adrian Blaydon, and I am a lover of cheesey 80's music........"Hiiiiii Adriaaaan"), but without a doubt the biggest reason was finding a dance partner who can reeeeeeeally dance. Regretfully I cannot go into details - protecting the innocent and all that, as for me...totally guilty - but suffice it to say we clicked on the dance floor; and I fear I will never dance like that again (shoulda known better than to cheat a friend.....guilty feet have got no rhythm........sorry, couldn't resist). For certain I will never listen to 'I've Had The Time Of My Life' again without a smile on my face!
So after a night like that I am amazed at this weeks result. Maybe one nights slip doesn't ruin a week? Or the exercise I was getting on the dance floor balanced things out a bit? As usual I'm not going to overthink it, just hope that it continues as at this rate I should be breaking 15 stone before the end of November and then I can start pounding the streets......running I mean......no images of a nutter let loose with a pneumatic drill.....
In short, it's all going swimmingly.........
(Could I publicly apologise to my spell-checker; all the repeated letters and 80's band names have really put it into spasm. Soooooo sorry!!)
Just kidding......(or am I?)......
More head-scratching, and another weigh-in the millisecond before which I was thinking 'prepare yourself; this time you have definitely put on weight', I almost sound disappointed to reveal that it's another pound off! Actual loss is 15st 5.4lb to 15st 4.2lb. To all of you who want the cut, thrust and drama of a periodic weight gain I am so sorry to disappoint; this is getting a bit monotonous isn't it?!! I make no apologies, this is the sort of monotony I would happily perpetuate.
With the exception of one night, I guess I was by and large a good boy; but on that one night I was very, very, very bad.
The company I work for were taken out by one of our suppliers for a 'bit of a do' as thank you (thank us) for the work we had put their way. There was a ghost walk, there was curry, there was peshwari nan (mmmmmm, peshwari naaaaaaan....gurgle gurgle) and by heavens was there alcohol. I went into the evening thinking 'right, a couple of lagers, a nice poppadom, curry, nightcap, bed before midnight', but it ended up being 'a couple of bitters, walk to another pub, another bitter, walk to another pub, another bitter, walk to indian restaurant, lager, glass of champagne, poppadom, curry, naaaaaan, nightclub, beer, boogying along to 80's classics, beer, cocktails which tasted like Ribena and Tango, walk back to the hotel, glass of wine, in bed gone 4am'. It has been a long time since my stop-out has ever been that dirty!
I really don't know what got into me. The whole concept of 'going clubbing' was lost on me when it became legal to do so (sneaking into Coco Savannah's - Stockports finest club, don't ask - underage was so exciting....and so easy!), but as it turned out I was very much up for it last Friday. I think it was partly the fact that the club we were in seemed to have inside information on the music which has a habit of making me get jiggy with it around my kitchen (B'witched, Tiffany, Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran, Manic Street Preachers.......okay I lied about that last one, just felt the urge to put something a bit cooler into the list.....hello, my name is Adrian Blaydon, and I am a lover of cheesey 80's music........"Hiiiiii Adriaaaan"), but without a doubt the biggest reason was finding a dance partner who can reeeeeeeally dance. Regretfully I cannot go into details - protecting the innocent and all that, as for me...totally guilty - but suffice it to say we clicked on the dance floor; and I fear I will never dance like that again (shoulda known better than to cheat a friend.....guilty feet have got no rhythm........sorry, couldn't resist). For certain I will never listen to 'I've Had The Time Of My Life' again without a smile on my face!
So after a night like that I am amazed at this weeks result. Maybe one nights slip doesn't ruin a week? Or the exercise I was getting on the dance floor balanced things out a bit? As usual I'm not going to overthink it, just hope that it continues as at this rate I should be breaking 15 stone before the end of November and then I can start pounding the streets......running I mean......no images of a nutter let loose with a pneumatic drill.....
In short, it's all going swimmingly.........
(Could I publicly apologise to my spell-checker; all the repeated letters and 80's band names have really put it into spasm. Soooooo sorry!!)